Try again… It may not work the first time

Try Again

Ok so I’m back talking more about my grass and how I’m trying to be intentional in doing the work.  Well let me let you in on a little secret… this isn’t the first time we’ve tried to create our own version of green grass like our neighbor. You see it’s been a few years that we’ve been at it but the one thing that’s been a constant, is that we’ve been inconsistent. We didn’t achieve our green grass dream on the first, second or even third try.

I’m not sure which try we are on now but I’m determined to do better this time around.

What about you?

Have you given up because it didn’t work out the first time like you thought it would?

I know we get these super duper ambitious goals and think that once we put ourselves out there, everything will line up and work out.

NOT SO!

I’ve learned that sometimes it’s not supposed to work out the first time. Sometimes you’ve got to put some sweat equity in the game to see any results. Some people quit when the going gets tough. They punk out. They say it wasn’t for them. Or it just wasn’t meant to be. Or maybe it just wasn’t God’s time. Now that may be the case but just because it wasn’t or isn’t Gods time, does mean it’s an excuse to quit.

Honey and I could easily just say we don’t have the time or the energy or the resources. We could also wait until we move into our ‘dream house‘ with our ‘dream yard‘ but that means nothing if we treat it the same way we are treating our current grass.

  • Are you waiting on some day?
  • Are you waiting for your greater while ignoring and and neglecting your season of lesser?

Be mindful that God won’t bless you with more if you haven’t learned to take of and be grateful for what you have. {Tweet This}

Listen I get it. You know you were created for greatness. You know there’s more to life than what you’re experiencing right now. But you have to be intentional and committed to the process, not just the promise.

You can’t have the promise without the process, nor elevation without transformation. {Tweet This}

It just doesn’t work that way. Sometimes it won’t work out on the first try. Sometimes it won’t work at all. Sometimes God is building resilience in you. Sometimes he wants to see how committed you will be when you find out it’s harder than you thought or when it’s more than what you bargained for.

  • Will you stay the course?
  • Will you try again?
  • Or will you give up?

Honey and I are committed to getting the green grass we dream and talk about. We are committed to doing the work, buying the supplies, and working with what we have.

What about you?

Your assignment:

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet meshare a post on facebook or comment here on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a 45-minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living but need to support of your sister-friends?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of July, we are studying and discussing the Book of Proverbs.

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God Knows What You Need

God Knows What You Need

So I’m in the process of taking better care of my grass. If you saw my last post on doing the work, you saw the comparison between my dry-thirsty grass vs my neighbor’s well-nourished grass across the street. Well as I was pulling out the sprinkler and testing it out to make sure it was going the right way. I noticed a few birds fly right to where the water was and began drinking and bathing in the water.

I smiled for a moment realizing that God knows what we need and when we need it.

Matthew 5: 26-27 says …

Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?

These birds didn’t know if I would be watering my grass. But it was just what they needed. And I imagine that the birds weren’t having a back and forth convo with God about not having anywhere to take a bath or get something to drink.

You know how we do.:)

What’s interesting is that once they were done, they flew off.  They got what they needed and then were off to fly about.

If you’re like me, you like to have everything in order. You like to know all of the details. But isn’t God funny. He doesn’t give us all of the details but He always gives us what we need. It may not be what we want (sometimes it is), but it’s always what we need.

This week I want you to stop charging God up for things not happening they way you want them to. Trust Him. Trust His plan for your life. Trust that He has everything under control and that He has everything you need and will provide it at the right time.


This week I want you to stop charging God up for things not happening they way you want them to. @TrueheartSpeaks 

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Your Assignment:

  • What have you been worrying yourself about these last few days?
  • Release it and turn it over to God.
  • Stop putting expectations and restrictions on God telling him how and when and where.
  • Trust God this week to provide everything you need.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet meshare a post on facebook or comment here on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a 45-minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living but need to support of your sister-friends?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of July, we are studying and discussing the Book of Proverbs.

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Do The Work

Do The Work

I know you’ve heard the saying “the grass is/isn’t greener on the other side.” You’ve probably also heard it said that the reason we think the grass is greener on the other side is because we pay more attention to ‘their’ grass instead of tending to our own.

Well, I want to take a moment to talk about doing the work.

About a year ago, hubby and I talked about taking better care of our grass. You see we have this neighbor who has impeccable grass. Check out the photo below… You’ll noticed the not-so-cared-for-grass is ours and the really nice grass is that of our neighbors across the street.

grass greener

Well one of the things that I’ve learned about watching our neighbor is that you’ve got to be in it for the long haul if you want your grass to be green just like the grass on the other side. And just so you know, while writing on my porch, my neighbor had already been out watering his grass and tending to his lawn.  Talk about consistency.

Over the years, I (we) noticed that every chance he got he’s be out two sometimes three times a day watering, cutting, trimming his grass. He was doing the work.

Hubby and I on the other hand… NOT! (lol)

We wanted the green grass like our neighbor but we’d just been offering lip service. You know, talking a good game.

Well since writing this post (it’s been about a week), guess what I’ve been doing?

Yep you guessed it!

DOING THE WORK!

found our sprinkler, hooked it up to the hose so that I could water my own grass instead of watching my neighbor water his. It’s actually been 2-3 times this week. I’m pretty proud of myself, if I do say so myself.

Now you might be wondering how this applies you, well like hubby and I, I imagine you’ve got really good, no great lip service. You even know what to do (or maybe you don’t). You watch other people get their lives in order. You watch other people go after their dreams. You talk about how great their ‘grass’ looks and how you wish you could get yours to look like ‘theirs.‘ You talk about wanting what they have or something similar.

BUT you just sit by in admiration, sometimes with envy wishing and wanting things to be different however you aren’t doing anything different.

Let me ask you this?

  • Are you willing to do the work needed to have the green grass (life, dreams, goals, etc.) you admire and desire?
  • Are you willing to learn what’s needed to accomplish what you desire?
  • Are you ready to start doing and stop talking or thinking about it?

You see, in addition to being willing to do the work, you may have to learn a new skill or get some training and you will most assuredly have to stop running your mouth and get to work.

I will say that there is still much to be done with my own grass, but I am proud to say that I am doing the work. My next step will be to buy some grass seed to make my lawn fuller, as well as get rid of some of the weeds, but I am committed to doing the work, what about you?

Your assignment:

  1. Identify your ‘green grass.’ What have you been talking and thinking about doing but have yet to do? 
  2. Stop talking and thinking about it.
  3. Identify what’s needed in order for you to get started?  Do you have what you need or will you have to acquire tools, supplies, training, etc. (Don’t spend money if you don’t need to.)
  4. Take some time to write in a journal why you haven’t gotten started today? What’s really holding you back. Sometimes it’s easier to admire what others are doing from a far than it is to put the work in.
  5. Start today. Do the work. Do one thing today that will inch you towards achieving your ‘green grass.’

I know that his/her grass seems greener on the other side, but you could have green grass if you would just do the work. @TrueheartSpeaks

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Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet meshare a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a 45-minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living but need to support of your sister-friends?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of July, we will be talking about the Book of Proverbs.

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Quitting is NOT an Option

Quitting is NOT an option

Now before you jump on this and refute the topic of this week’s message. Stay with me for a moment.

Last week I was faced with a decision. Some things weren’t panning out the way I had anticipated and I had the thought of just postponing my plans. Before making the final decision, as with most decisions, (yes as a type A personality, I don’t always consult with God on his plan for my life, but that’s another message) I went to the Lord in prayer. I asked what I should do. I sat quietly and the Lord immediately spoke to me saying, “you will keep going. Quitting, pausing, or postponing is not an option and would be too easy. You will stay the course and you will do the work.”

I sat there for a few seconds and internally said “ok.”

This story is still evolving so I can’t tell you how it ends just yet, but just know that since that conversation, things have started falling into place. But more importantly, I am doing the work.

This was never supposed to be about perfection but progression. I wanted things to happen a certain way and because, I felt like I had made a mistake or the timing was off.

So let me ask you something…

  • What are you supposed to be doing that just doesn’t seem to be coming together? 
  • What has God given you to do and because it’s seems harder than you thought, you’ve decided to push back the timetable?
  • Or you’ve decided to just quit thinking it wasn’t meant to be?

I will tell you like I was told last week during my prayer time …
“You will keep going. Quitting, pausing, or postponing is not an option and would be too easy. You will stay the course and you will do the work.”
Get back in position. Get back on track. And as Beyoncé says, get into formation.

You see quitting, postponing, and pushing things back would be too easy. You’d be let off the hook. You start again and then it got hard, you do what you are doing now.

Not happening.

You’re going to do the work.
You’re going to stay the course.
You’re to follow the plan.

It’s just as simple as that.

It was never promised that life would be easy. It was never promised that we wouldn’t have to put some sweat equity into this thing called life.

Maybe you’ve gotten discouraged because you’re working to fix your finances and things just don’t seem to turning around as quickly as you’d like. Are you putting the work or are you expecting things to work out on their own. You haven’t changed what you do or how you do it. 

Listen, nothing changes if nothing changes.

DO THE WORK! 

Maybe you want your marriage to turn around for the better but you’re waiting on him/her to do something before you put in any work. Well then you don’t want it bad enough. What are you doing to create the marriage you desire? What changes have YOU made?

I could offer tons of examples but the premise of this message is this….

Stop thinking that because things aren’t going as expected, that you’re supposed to quit, post pone or push things back.

I know I know I know… there are times when quitting, letting go, pushing things back, is just what the doctor ordered.

This is not one of them.

Not when faith is involved and God has positioned you for greater and to do something you know you can’t do on your own. This is one of those times where you have to do what you can, so God can do what you can’t.

Do your part. Get back in the game. Get your mind and your heart back on track. Focus. Hone in. Get moving.

Even in the midst of the valleys and the dark alleys…

Stay the course. Keep your eyes on the prize. Push until you can’t push anymore.

Fight for your life.
Fight for your dreams.
Fight for your marriage.
Fight for your family.
Fight for your sanity.
Fight for your health.

No matter what it is…

QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION. 


Stop thinking that because things aren’t going as expected, that you’re supposed to quit, post pone, or push things back.
@TrueheartSpeaks

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Your assignment:

This week, I want you to identify whatever you contemplated quitting, postponing or pushing back. Then, I want you to the get quiet, refocus, reframe, listen for instructions, then do what you’ve been putting off.  It’s just that simple. Reposition if you need to. Cut some things off if need be. Be get back in the game. Get your mind and your heart in sync, so your words and actions can follow.

Trust that He who began a good work in you, shall complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.  God didn’t bring you this far to leave you.  Could it be that he’s holding out to see if you want it bad enough.  He hasn’t moved, because you haven’t moved.  He will move on your behalf, when you do.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet meshare a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

ATLANTA — I am headed your way on Saturday, June 11th at 10m for the first stop on my #iSpeakLife Empowerment Experience for Women.  This event was designed for the successful yet busy and overwhelmed women who seldom takes time to refill her cup. Get more info and register at www.ispeaklifelive.com

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of May, we will be talking about MINDSET.

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What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for-

So a few weeks ago, I challenged you to get out of your own way and start living with intention. My message stressing the fact that tomorrow is not promised was a clarion call to you to stop waiting on tomorrow.

With that being said, my message today is a continuation of the previous message. This past Friday, my hubby and I celebrated the life of friend that passed away who was 42 leaving behind his wife and ten year old son. Yes, crazy right!  It is very hard for me to think about raising my four-year-old son without his daddy but this will not be the reality for a set of four year old twins and now a 10 year old boy.

Some of you may have seen my facebook posts or you’ve heard me talk about it on facebook live or periscope but another husband and father left this world sooner than we would have like him to.  I won’t get into all of the specifics but I want to ask if you are living at your fullest capacity and if not, why?

What are you waiting for?  

I was at a Vision Book Party last weekend and a question was posed by one of the ladies and she asked about timing regarding the manifestation of dreams/goals. She basically wanted to know if there was a deadline on dreams and if she has missed her time.  As the conversation concluded, I simply asked her, “What are you waiting for?” and I will again ask you the same question.

What are you waiting for?  

After the sudden deaths of two really good people, there is an urgency for me to operate at my fullest capacity and do what really makes my heart smile.  I feel a sense of imperativeness to go full steam ahead to do what I know God has called me to do.  I will be 40 in a few months and although I know that God knows what He’s doing, I would hate to leave this world not having lived this life with a fullness and vibrancy that only I know can live it.

What about you

I mean really, time is of the essence and tomorrow is most assuredly not promised, so what will you do about it?

  • Will you start writing the book?
  • Will you work to clear up your credit?
  • Will you start taking better care of yourself?
  • Will you start the blog?
  • Will you schedule the doctor’s appointment.
  • Will you start the business or the ministry or the not for profit?
  • Will you clear the clutter?
  • Will you apply for the job?
  • Will you update your resume?
  • Will you fill out the application for school?
  • Will you go on that vacation that you keep dreaming about?
  • Will start saving for the vacation so you can actually make it a reality?

Will you just get started already or will you continue to let whatever is holding you back, keep you stuck, stalled and stagnant for another day, week, month, year or two years, like the woman who asked the question at the Vision Book Party?

Let me say this, if you are saying “Detra, I just don’t have time. I have too many other things going on in my life,” then you are focused on the wrong things and you need to reassess your priorities. You should only be giving those things that are highest priority to you, your time and energy. The problem is many of us are giving our time and energy to those things that drain and distract us from the essentials. Stop it!  If you struggle with this, get my Time Hacks for Busy Women training and workbook to help you start planning your day and your life around those things that matter most to you. (It’s 20% off until 5/25. Use the code: PMD16)

Listen, I trust God and believe that when our time is up, it’s in God’s timing. But what I won’t do is waste time while on this earth, letting my fear, my past, my present, people, or anything else keep me from living my best life. I read a book (I can’t remember which one) that said accumulate experiences not things and that’s what I plan to do. Hubby and I went on our first filed trip together with our son over the weekend and we had a blast. I don’t just want to work well, I want to live well and love big.

I am not sure what you are waiting on, but I challenge you to get out of your own way and get to the business of living. There is a group of people who are assigned to you who are waiting on you while you wait on … {you fill in the blank}.

Will you keep them (and yourself) waiting?


Don’t just work well. Live well and love big.
@TrueheartSpeaks

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Your assignment:

If you didn’t do what I asked you to do from a few weeks ago, I want you to stop thinking about those things you’ve wanted to do but kept putting off and DO THEM! Start making time for the things that matter most to you. Stop waiting until ‘tomorrow.’ Take action today. I am not sure what you are waiting on but you have everything you need right now at this very moment to take your next best step. DO IT!
Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet meshare a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you need strategies to help you get out of your own way and take action, schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to chat about what’s holding you back, what you are waiting on and why you haven’t gotten started. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of May, we will be talking about MINDSET.

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Tomorrow is not promised

{I shared this with the ladies in my private fb group yesterday and wanted to share this my readers and TrueheartSpeaks Community}

Tomorrow is not promised

Tomorrow is not promised and many of you are waiting on ‘tomorrow.’ I don’t know what your assignment is nor do I know who God has assigned to you but what I do know is that a friend died at 39 yesterday (April 29, 2016). Yes 39! I trust God’s timing and I pray my friend, William, knew the lord but what I love is the impact he made on those around him. I’m enjoying reading all of the posts on Facebook from those he knew.

Many of you have let the enemy lock you in a corner and make you think that your life, experiences, your flaws, your failures, your successes (because of course they can’t be that big or that fabulous compared to {insert person or trait you compare yourself to}) don’t mean a thing in this big ole world. Well honey let me tell you that YOU MATTER.

Let me tell you that if you are awake today, you have purpose and there is a reason you are still here. I don’t know why God called him home at 39 but I’m thankful to be here at 39. I don’t know what my tomorrow holds but I know I’m going to kick every door in and knock every wall down that the enemy would build to try to keep me from and sabotage what God has for me.

Some of you are saying “I’m too young” and others are saying “I’m too old.” Well many are saying William was too young to die and my question is…

Are you too young or too old to live?

I would say NO.

I would say that today is the perfect day for you to start being intentional with the life God has given you. Today is the last day of our monthly discussion on the topic of fear {every month we talk about new topic in the #iSpeakLife Society} but it won’t be the last time we will talk about it. Fear has paralyzed many of us into inaction. We talk a good game but do nothing!

I know you loved prince’s music and you thought he was the best thing since sliced bread but my question is what will folks have to say about you.

  • Can you say you’re giving it your all?
  • Can you say you’re putting 120% in?
  • Can you say that your living instead of existing?

No more excuses.

No more reasons why you can’t.

Stop complaining and do something.

God has given us EVERYTHING we need to get started today or to keep going if we’ve already taken the plunge.

Either way… As big as they may seem, nothing and no problem, challenge, or struggle is bigger than not waking up tomorrow to do what you keep saying you’re going to do today.

Let’s go!

Let get it!

Let’s turn this world (whichever part God has assigned you to) upside down.

Let’s move in spite of our fears!

Let’s make some things happen.

Let’s leave a legacy our family and friends and most important God would be proud of.


Tomorrow is NOT promised and
many of you are waiting on ‘tomorrow.’
DO IT TODAY!

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Your assignment:

Think about those things you’ve wanted to do but kept putting off. Create some time to DO THEM! You know those family and friends you’ve been saying you’re going to call or visit, create time to CALL or VISIT THEM!  You know that ‘thing’ you’ve saying you wanted to do or start, DO IT! Start making time for the things that matter most to you and then start doing it. Stop waiting until ‘tomorrow.’ Now here is the kicker… don’t just make plans, I want you to follow through on them.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you need strategies to help you create and implement a life purpose plan to do all those things you’ve been thinking about doing, let’s schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to chat about what’s holding you back. Click here.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join the #iSpeakLife Society fbcvr (2)

Join every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for your Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get you through the day.  For the month of April, we will be talking about FEAR.

Not on Periscope? Download the periscope app on your phone. Search for me (TrueheartSpeaks). Follow me. Turn notifications on so you are notified whenever I am on Live.  Then be on the lookout when I’m live.

{NOTE: I’m offline the first three days of the month, therefore I will be back on periscope on Wednesday}

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Boundaries…Do you have any?

Boundaries

For the past month or so I’ve been reading Dr. Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong. To put it simply, the book is about rising after you fall. Even though it’s a little more intricate than that, I’ll leave it at that.

Part of rising when you fall is learning to set boundaries, knowing what you want and being real with yourself. As I’m reading this book I’m learning that I’m not as good at setting boundaries as I thought. I found that my expectations of people aren’t always as clear as I think. So as the work in progress that I am, I’m working on it.

I also found that setting boundaries isn’t easy yet it’s very necessary if you’re going to live purposefully. In her book and in this video, Brene says…

Boundaries are simply our lists of what’s okay and what’s not okay.

I know it seems so simple. But let me ask you a few questions, do you have any boundaries? Have you identified what’s okay and what’s not okay in your life? Are they clear to those you interact with in life, love and work?

So even though we are no longer chatting about focus this month on periscope, I believe that boundaries come with focus. I believe that you can be more focused when you’ve created boundaries for what’s okay and what’s not okay. It makes saying yes and no that much easier. It makes knowing what to focus on easier when you already know what you want or what you expect.

Dr. Brene asks this question,

What boundaries do I need to put in place so I can work from a place of integrity and extend the most generous interpretations of the intentions, words, and actions of others?

She goes in to say,

When we combine the courage to make clear what works for us and what doesn’t with compassion to assume people are doing their best, our lives change.

Dr. Brene further asks this question about boundaries as it relates to self worth and self-value. She asks,

How can we expect people to put value in our work when we don’t value ourselves enough to set and hold uncomfortable boundaries?

Listen, there is so much more where that came from therefore I think the topic of boundaries is huge when we talk about focus and fear (our new topic this month). I think boundaries help us focus, keep us clear on our expectations and allow us to live in a place & space void of unwanted feelings because we are clear on what’s acceptable and what’s not. We are clear on what we will allow and what we won’t.

Do you have clear expectations of what’s acceptable and what’s not in your life?

Maybe things have gotten out of hand because there were no clear-cut expectations expressed.

Maybe things didn’t turn out the way you desired because you didn’t really know what you wanted or maybe you did but you went against that ‘gut’ feeling by accepting what you knew you should have said NO to.

I know reading Brene’s book has allowed me to see that there have been some cloudy spaces in my life that I believe have lead to frustration because I wasn’t clear on what I wanted. Or I knew what I wanted but didn’t ask because I didn’t want to seem complicated, overbearing, etc. But life has taught me that the only way real peace is created is when boundaries are created at the jump. I have to be clear on what I want and not afraid to ask for it, whether it’s money, love, time, etc.

Brene says

compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”

She goes in to say,

as miserable as resentment, disappointment, and frustration make us feel, we fool ourselves into believing that they’re easier than the vulnerability of a difficult conversation. The truth is that judgment and anger take up way more emotional bandwidth for us.

Ooooohhh that’s good…

  • Are you carrying resentment due to unclear expectations and boundaries?
  • Are you angry and resentful simply because you don’t want to have ‘that’ difficult conversation?

I’m still working through the book, so expect me to come back and share more of my ahas, but I want you to think about some of the questions Dr. Brene poses as well as those that I’ve asked. If you aren’t content with setting clear yet uncomfortable boundaries, then that may be why things aren’t going as smoothly as you’d like them to.

Part of focus is being clear on what’s acceptable and what’s not. Part of living purposefully in every area of your life, is setting boundaries that allow you to operate in your most loving and best self. It’s not about being who and what others want you be and denying yourself at the expense of others, which is what many angry, resentful and frustrated people are doing.

Are you one of them?


 

Part of living purposefully in every area of your life, is setting boundaries that allow you to operate in your most loving and best self.

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Your assignment:

Go back through these questions and get really open and honest with yourself on whether you’ve created clear and concise boundaries. If you have, great! But if you haven’t, take some time to get clear on your list of what’s okay and what’s not okay and then be willing to be vulnerable enough to have those hard, uncomfortable yet needed conversations with yourself and others.

Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

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Join every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for your Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get you through the day.  For the month of April, we will be talking about FEAR.

Not on Periscope? Download the periscope app on your phone. Search for me (TrueheartSpeaks). Follow me. Turn notifications on so you are notified whenever I am on Live.  Then be on the lookout when I’m live.

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Focus Your Focus

Focus Your Focus (2)

So this month I’m talking to my ‘peripeeps’ about focus. We are talking about all things focus. Things like what is focus, why focus is important, and why we don’t have focus.

It’s been really good!

The first morning #LifeScope started off a little shaky with a few unexpected distractions, but I didn’t expect anything less since we were talking about focus.  We all know that when we start to focus and hone in on something, we get all sorts of distractions coming from everywhere.

I know you know… you’ve decided to start saving money and what happens, your favorite store has an UBERLY AWESOME sale.  You’ve decided to cut back on sweets and the office decides to have a birthday party or potluck with ALLLLL of stuff you said you were going to stop eating.

When we finally make up our minds to do something, all kinds of distractions come from out of nowhere.

So rather than share all of the juicy nuggets, I shared on periscope (that would take forever), I decided to share the actual videos from this past week’s #LifeScopes.

Just so you know, I’m on periscope every Mon-Thurs with the Morning LifeScope at 7:15am. If you’ve yet to join me, I suggest you get with the program and join me live or catch the replays.  They have been GOOD!!!

So here are last weeks videos on focus.

  • Monday: Focus – Don’t Give Up
  • Tuesday: Why Focus is important
  • Wednesday: Why We Don’t Have Focus
  • Thursday: What If You Are Focusing on the Wrong Thing

After checking out the videos, make sure you tweet me and let me know your thoughts on what I shared.

If you aren’t sure how to focus, get your focus back or understand why you can’t focus, let’s schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to help you wrap your head around all that’s happening and get your clear and somewhat focused. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love. :)

Attention ladies!! — If you are a woman of faith looking to live purposefully and grow spiritually, then join me here: bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety.  This group will help you get out of your own way and get to the business of living! Join me and a host of fabulous ladies in the #iSpeakLife Society Facebook Group.

Join every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for your Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get you through the day.  For the month of March, we will be talking about FOCUS.

Not on Periscope? Download the periscope app on your phone. Search for me (TrueheartSpeaks). Follow me. Turn notifications on so you are notified whenever I am on Live.  Then be on the lookout when I’m live.

Keep Going

Keep Going

A few weeks ago I travelled to Charlotte, NC with my family to see one my #BFF’s. It’s been way too long to count how many years it’s been since I’ve been to Charlotte to visit since she moved there.

Well on the way there, the weather was crazy.

One minute it was snowy, the next minute it was clear. Another minute it was rain-snowing and the next it was a white out. Yes to the point where I had to put the blinkers on while snailing (driving like 1 mile per hour) along the highway.

To say that we were ecstatic to finally arrive, was an understatement. Especially with a four year old asking what seemed like every hour, ‘Are we almost there?”  As I was driving, it dawned on me that life is sometimes like the almost 11 hour drive to Charlotte.

In this life, you will have ups and downs. You will also have days where you know where you want to go but the way seems so cloudy or snowy that you can barely see what’s in front of you.

Some days are as clear as a squeaky clean window where you can see exactly where you are going as far down the path as your eyes can take you. The path seems easy, simple and smooth sailing.

That is, until you hit a white patch or rain coming down so hard that you have to pull over until it subsides.

Know what I mean?

I imagine you do. I imagine you might be in one of those white-out periods where you can’t see your way through and you’re not sure how long it will be before it clears up.

You might be in a ‘raining so hard I had to pull over’ moment where you just have to put a pause on whatever is going on, get your self together and let it the process play out.

Maybe your situation is different. Maybe it’s smooth sailing for you.

Listen, no matter where you are in the journey called life, my message to you is KEEP GOING.

Don’t stop.

Don’t get comfortable.

Don’t become stagnant.

KEEP GOING. 

If you have to pull over…

If you have to slow down to a snail’s pace…

If you have to stop and ask for directions because you seem lost.

If you need to turn around or get off and go back to the last exit because you missed where you supposed to get off.

If you have to stop and get gas.

Do it…

But please don’t stop.

Pause.

But.

KEEP GOING!

My prayer is that no matter how hard life has been for you…

It will get better and it can get better.

Listen, I don’t know your story and for darn sure have no clue what you might be dealing with right now, but what I do know is if you are still here reading this message, you still have some life to live and a purpose to fulfill.

Just stay the course.

Don’t give up.

KEEP GOING!

KEEP GOING!

Your only assignment this week, is to NOT throw in the towel and KEEP GOING. 

If you aren’t sure how to keep going, let’s schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to help you wrap your head around all that’s happening and get your clear and somewhat focused. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If these messages are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up give a girl some love.:)

Attention ladies!! — If you are a woman of faith looking to live purposefully and grow spiritually, then join me here: bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety.  This group will help you get out of your own way and get to the business of living! Join me and a host of fabulous ladies in the #iSpeakLife Society Facebook Group.

Join every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for your Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get you through the day.  For the month of March, we will be talking about FOCUS.

Not on Periscope? Download the periscope app on your phone. Search for me (TrueheartSpeaks). Follow me. Turn notifications on so you are notified whenever I am on Live.  Then be on the lookout when I’m live.

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Are you clogged up?

Are you clogged up-

So hubby got his truck fixed a little while back. His engine light had been on for some time and since he couldn’t figure out what was causing the light to stay on, he finally took it to a mechanic to get a diagnostic. There were a few things wrong with it, so in order to really figure it out it had to be diagnosed. The mechanic called and said that among other things, the truck was clogged and needed to be flushed out. He flushed it out, then gave it a oil change along with a few other things.

As honey was giving me the details, I asked how long it had been since he had the truck flushed, he said never. I said “babe that’s a revelation.”  (Sidenote: I can find revelations and aha’s in ANYTHING.) The car was acting funny because it had all of this junk inside of it that needed to be flushed out.

Now you may be wondering how this story applies to you.

Well let me ask you this:

  • Are there areas of your life where you are clogged up? where you’ve got ‘junk’ that you need to have flushed out because it’s causing you to be clogged? If so, which areas are they? 
  • What areas of your life aren’t working properly because you haven’t taken the time to do a diagnostic on yourself to see where you need to be flushed?
  • Do you need to make an appointment to see a professional to have a certain area of your life assessed and flushed?

When I say flushed, I mean what areas of your life do you need to get rid of the junk that’s hindering you from operating at your fullest potential and capacity?

You see…

When we transitioned into 2016 almost three months ago, many people believed that a new year equated to new everything. But it didn’t. They thought new year meant the old stuff no longer mattered and was left behind.

Newsflash… it wasn’t.

There are some things you brought into this new year and will possibly take in this next month, if not dealt with. You will go into the new clogged if you didn’t take time to deal with and flush out those old areas of your life that aren’t operating at full potential.

  • You must deal with it. 
  • You must do the work. 
  • You must put the time in. 
  • You see what you put in is what you get out. 

Beside, who knew that a car needed to be flushed out anyway?

Heck, I didn’t.

Well that doesn’t really say too much about me, since I don’t know much about cars anyway. But maybe you didn’t know that YOU were clogged up. Maybe you are just now finding out that transformation takes time. (You’ll hear me say this a lot this year). Maybe you didn’t know you needed to asses your life and its various facets.

You knew something wasn’t right but you weren’t really sure what to do about it. You thought if you just kept moving along that it would take care of itself and just go away after awhile.

Well love, that’s not the case.

  • You need to deal with it.
  • You need to address it.
  • You need to be in the know about your mess.

If there is an area of your life that isn’t operating at its best, take some time to assess it and I am gong to help you get started.

On a scale of 1-10, I want you to assess the following areas of your life, which I call the 7 Facets of You™. 1 meaning I’m totally clogged and 10 meaning no cloggage (I made that up, lol, this word doesn’t exist) on this end. I’m good.

Spiritual: How are you doing spiritually? Do you spend consistent time with God? Or do you just drop in when you need something or when something goes wrong? Are you reading your bible, praying, and meditating? If you’re reading this and you’re not a Christian, what areas are you lacking in your faith? What areas are you excelling

Emotional: How are you managing your emotions? Do they get the best of you? Do you have control over them? Do you know your triggers/buttons?  How do you currently respond? How will you respond differently when those buttons are pushed?

Mental: Are you a positive patty or a negative nancy? Do your thoughts control you or do you properly control and manage your thoughts? Do you think about what you think about? What are you feeding your mind? Do you suffer from mental illness but won’t get it check out?  If you were dealing a mental illness, do you know the signs and symptoms? Are you regularly taking any medication that has been prescribed?

Physical: Are you properly taking care of your body. Are you eating right? Do you exercise? Are you getting enough sleep and rest (there is a difference)?Have you ever done a detox or a fast? Have you been to the doctor, obgyn, dentist, optometrist & any other Doctor you need to see on a regular basis? When’s the last time you went?

Relational: Check your relationships with your spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends. Check in with those you love and value. Are making time to spend with them? Do you hang around toxic people or people who love encourage, inspire and challenge you? Let the toxic people go. Allow more people who love, encourage, inspire and challenge you into your life?

Professional/educational: How are things at work or school? Do you work in a toxic place? Are you operating at your fullest potential or you just ‘there’? Are you doing your best at school or are you just barely passing? Are you seeking professional development?  Are you sharpening your skills so you operate at your fullest capacity at work and/or in school?

Financial: Are you a spender or a saver? Do you have savings? Do you have a bank account? Do you have a will? Do you have life insurance? Do you have health insurance? Do you have an emergency fund? Do you have 6-12 months saved in case you loose your job or decide to work full time in your business? How’s your money? Do you have money issues that stem from previous generations? Do you have a wealth mindset or a poverty mindset?

I know theses are a lot of questions to ponder, however you have to start somewhere and you need to know what areas in your life are clogged in order to unclog them so you can operate properly.  Plus I want to leave you without excuse when it comes to identifying areas that you may not have thought of that just might be clogged up.

Your turn…

The first step is to acknowledge what’s not working and then figure out why it’s not working. The truck is now fixed but the check engine light is still on, so it has to go back to the mechanic to get more testing.

Now here’s the thing, as I stated earlier, transformation takes time. Once you know what areas you need to work on, you then have to do the work to get unclogged. You may, however, find that after doing one thing, the issue may not be resolved.

You may have to go back and see what else you missed. That’s ok. That’s life. Life is never perfect. There are highs and there are lows, sometimes at the same time. While one person in your family has a baby another just passed away. You get a raise in your job and the dryer breaks. It happens.

The key here is awareness. Don’t be so naive or lazy that you don’t think you have to put anything in to get anything out.  Review the 7 Facets of You™ and really assess those areas of your life that might be clogged and then take one step today to start flushing things out.

Take some time to do the work and then stay the course.

Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. Did you get the FREE Quiet Time Checklist that I gave away?  If not, click here to get yours.
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P.P.S. Have you joined the #iSpeakLife Society?  It’s my FREE Private Facebook Group for women of faith who know they need to get out of their own way so they can live purposefully and grow spiritually. Click here + request access.
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P.P.P.S. Have a question or a challenge and need immediate feedback?  Schedule a 45-Minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to flush out all of your thoughts and ask me as many questions as needed to get clear and get started. Learn more here –> bit.ly/pickmybrain45
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