What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for-

So a few weeks ago, I challenged you to get out of your own way and start living with intention. My message stressing the fact that tomorrow is not promised was a clarion call to you to stop waiting on tomorrow.

With that being said, my message today is a continuation of the previous message. This past Friday, my hubby and I celebrated the life of friend that passed away who was 42 leaving behind his wife and ten year old son. Yes, crazy right!  It is very hard for me to think about raising my four-year-old son without his daddy but this will not be the reality for a set of four year old twins and now a 10 year old boy.

Some of you may have seen my facebook posts or you’ve heard me talk about it on facebook live or periscope but another husband and father left this world sooner than we would have like him to.  I won’t get into all of the specifics but I want to ask if you are living at your fullest capacity and if not, why?

What are you waiting for?  

I was at a Vision Book Party last weekend and a question was posed by one of the ladies and she asked about timing regarding the manifestation of dreams/goals. She basically wanted to know if there was a deadline on dreams and if she has missed her time.  As the conversation concluded, I simply asked her, “What are you waiting for?” and I will again ask you the same question.

What are you waiting for?  

After the sudden deaths of two really good people, there is an urgency for me to operate at my fullest capacity and do what really makes my heart smile.  I feel a sense of imperativeness to go full steam ahead to do what I know God has called me to do.  I will be 40 in a few months and although I know that God knows what He’s doing, I would hate to leave this world not having lived this life with a fullness and vibrancy that only I know can live it.

What about you

I mean really, time is of the essence and tomorrow is most assuredly not promised, so what will you do about it?

  • Will you start writing the book?
  • Will you work to clear up your credit?
  • Will you start taking better care of yourself?
  • Will you start the blog?
  • Will you schedule the doctor’s appointment.
  • Will you start the business or the ministry or the not for profit?
  • Will you clear the clutter?
  • Will you apply for the job?
  • Will you update your resume?
  • Will you fill out the application for school?
  • Will you go on that vacation that you keep dreaming about?
  • Will start saving for the vacation so you can actually make it a reality?

Will you just get started already or will you continue to let whatever is holding you back, keep you stuck, stalled and stagnant for another day, week, month, year or two years, like the woman who asked the question at the Vision Book Party?

Let me say this, if you are saying “Detra, I just don’t have time. I have too many other things going on in my life,” then you are focused on the wrong things and you need to reassess your priorities. You should only be giving those things that are highest priority to you, your time and energy. The problem is many of us are giving our time and energy to those things that drain and distract us from the essentials. Stop it!  If you struggle with this, get my Time Hacks for Busy Women training and workbook to help you start planning your day and your life around those things that matter most to you. (It’s 20% off until 5/25. Use the code: PMD16)

Listen, I trust God and believe that when our time is up, it’s in God’s timing. But what I won’t do is waste time while on this earth, letting my fear, my past, my present, people, or anything else keep me from living my best life. I read a book (I can’t remember which one) that said accumulate experiences not things and that’s what I plan to do. Hubby and I went on our first filed trip together with our son over the weekend and we had a blast. I don’t just want to work well, I want to live well and love big.

I am not sure what you are waiting on, but I challenge you to get out of your own way and get to the business of living. There is a group of people who are assigned to you who are waiting on you while you wait on … {you fill in the blank}.

Will you keep them (and yourself) waiting?


Don’t just work well. Live well and love big.
@TrueheartSpeaks

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Your assignment:

If you didn’t do what I asked you to do from a few weeks ago, I want you to stop thinking about those things you’ve wanted to do but kept putting off and DO THEM! Start making time for the things that matter most to you. Stop waiting until ‘tomorrow.’ Take action today. I am not sure what you are waiting on but you have everything you need right now at this very moment to take your next best step. DO IT!
Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet meshare a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you need strategies to help you get out of your own way and take action, schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to chat about what’s holding you back, what you are waiting on and why you haven’t gotten started. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of May, we will be talking about MINDSET.

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Tomorrow is not promised

{I shared this with the ladies in my private fb group yesterday and wanted to share this my readers and TrueheartSpeaks Community}

Tomorrow is not promised

Tomorrow is not promised and many of you are waiting on ‘tomorrow.’ I don’t know what your assignment is nor do I know who God has assigned to you but what I do know is that a friend died at 39 yesterday (April 29, 2016). Yes 39! I trust God’s timing and I pray my friend, William, knew the lord but what I love is the impact he made on those around him. I’m enjoying reading all of the posts on Facebook from those he knew.

Many of you have let the enemy lock you in a corner and make you think that your life, experiences, your flaws, your failures, your successes (because of course they can’t be that big or that fabulous compared to {insert person or trait you compare yourself to}) don’t mean a thing in this big ole world. Well honey let me tell you that YOU MATTER.

Let me tell you that if you are awake today, you have purpose and there is a reason you are still here. I don’t know why God called him home at 39 but I’m thankful to be here at 39. I don’t know what my tomorrow holds but I know I’m going to kick every door in and knock every wall down that the enemy would build to try to keep me from and sabotage what God has for me.

Some of you are saying “I’m too young” and others are saying “I’m too old.” Well many are saying William was too young to die and my question is…

Are you too young or too old to live?

I would say NO.

I would say that today is the perfect day for you to start being intentional with the life God has given you. Today is the last day of our monthly discussion on the topic of fear {every month we talk about new topic in the #iSpeakLife Society} but it won’t be the last time we will talk about it. Fear has paralyzed many of us into inaction. We talk a good game but do nothing!

I know you loved prince’s music and you thought he was the best thing since sliced bread but my question is what will folks have to say about you.

  • Can you say you’re giving it your all?
  • Can you say you’re putting 120% in?
  • Can you say that your living instead of existing?

No more excuses.

No more reasons why you can’t.

Stop complaining and do something.

God has given us EVERYTHING we need to get started today or to keep going if we’ve already taken the plunge.

Either way… As big as they may seem, nothing and no problem, challenge, or struggle is bigger than not waking up tomorrow to do what you keep saying you’re going to do today.

Let’s go!

Let get it!

Let’s turn this world (whichever part God has assigned you to) upside down.

Let’s move in spite of our fears!

Let’s make some things happen.

Let’s leave a legacy our family and friends and most important God would be proud of.


Tomorrow is NOT promised and
many of you are waiting on ‘tomorrow.’
DO IT TODAY!

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Your assignment:

Think about those things you’ve wanted to do but kept putting off. Create some time to DO THEM! You know those family and friends you’ve been saying you’re going to call or visit, create time to CALL or VISIT THEM!  You know that ‘thing’ you’ve saying you wanted to do or start, DO IT! Start making time for the things that matter most to you and then start doing it. Stop waiting until ‘tomorrow.’ Now here is the kicker… don’t just make plans, I want you to follow through on them.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you need strategies to help you create and implement a life purpose plan to do all those things you’ve been thinking about doing, let’s schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to chat about what’s holding you back. Click here.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join the #iSpeakLife Society fbcvr (2)

Join every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for your Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get you through the day.  For the month of April, we will be talking about FEAR.

Not on Periscope? Download the periscope app on your phone. Search for me (TrueheartSpeaks). Follow me. Turn notifications on so you are notified whenever I am on Live.  Then be on the lookout when I’m live.

{NOTE: I’m offline the first three days of the month, therefore I will be back on periscope on Wednesday}

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Boundaries…Do you have any?

Boundaries

For the past month or so I’ve been reading Dr. Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong. To put it simply, the book is about rising after you fall. Even though it’s a little more intricate than that, I’ll leave it at that.

Part of rising when you fall is learning to set boundaries, knowing what you want and being real with yourself. As I’m reading this book I’m learning that I’m not as good at setting boundaries as I thought. I found that my expectations of people aren’t always as clear as I think. So as the work in progress that I am, I’m working on it.

I also found that setting boundaries isn’t easy yet it’s very necessary if you’re going to live purposefully. In her book and in this video, Brene says…

Boundaries are simply our lists of what’s okay and what’s not okay.

I know it seems so simple. But let me ask you a few questions, do you have any boundaries? Have you identified what’s okay and what’s not okay in your life? Are they clear to those you interact with in life, love and work?

So even though we are no longer chatting about focus this month on periscope, I believe that boundaries come with focus. I believe that you can be more focused when you’ve created boundaries for what’s okay and what’s not okay. It makes saying yes and no that much easier. It makes knowing what to focus on easier when you already know what you want or what you expect.

Dr. Brene asks this question,

What boundaries do I need to put in place so I can work from a place of integrity and extend the most generous interpretations of the intentions, words, and actions of others?

She goes in to say,

When we combine the courage to make clear what works for us and what doesn’t with compassion to assume people are doing their best, our lives change.

Dr. Brene further asks this question about boundaries as it relates to self worth and self-value. She asks,

How can we expect people to put value in our work when we don’t value ourselves enough to set and hold uncomfortable boundaries?

Listen, there is so much more where that came from therefore I think the topic of boundaries is huge when we talk about focus and fear (our new topic this month). I think boundaries help us focus, keep us clear on our expectations and allow us to live in a place & space void of unwanted feelings because we are clear on what’s acceptable and what’s not. We are clear on what we will allow and what we won’t.

Do you have clear expectations of what’s acceptable and what’s not in your life?

Maybe things have gotten out of hand because there were no clear-cut expectations expressed.

Maybe things didn’t turn out the way you desired because you didn’t really know what you wanted or maybe you did but you went against that ‘gut’ feeling by accepting what you knew you should have said NO to.

I know reading Brene’s book has allowed me to see that there have been some cloudy spaces in my life that I believe have lead to frustration because I wasn’t clear on what I wanted. Or I knew what I wanted but didn’t ask because I didn’t want to seem complicated, overbearing, etc. But life has taught me that the only way real peace is created is when boundaries are created at the jump. I have to be clear on what I want and not afraid to ask for it, whether it’s money, love, time, etc.

Brene says

compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”

She goes in to say,

as miserable as resentment, disappointment, and frustration make us feel, we fool ourselves into believing that they’re easier than the vulnerability of a difficult conversation. The truth is that judgment and anger take up way more emotional bandwidth for us.

Ooooohhh that’s good…

  • Are you carrying resentment due to unclear expectations and boundaries?
  • Are you angry and resentful simply because you don’t want to have ‘that’ difficult conversation?

I’m still working through the book, so expect me to come back and share more of my ahas, but I want you to think about some of the questions Dr. Brene poses as well as those that I’ve asked. If you aren’t content with setting clear yet uncomfortable boundaries, then that may be why things aren’t going as smoothly as you’d like them to.

Part of focus is being clear on what’s acceptable and what’s not. Part of living purposefully in every area of your life, is setting boundaries that allow you to operate in your most loving and best self. It’s not about being who and what others want you be and denying yourself at the expense of others, which is what many angry, resentful and frustrated people are doing.

Are you one of them?


 

Part of living purposefully in every area of your life, is setting boundaries that allow you to operate in your most loving and best self.

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Your assignment:

Go back through these questions and get really open and honest with yourself on whether you’ve created clear and concise boundaries. If you have, great! But if you haven’t, take some time to get clear on your list of what’s okay and what’s not okay and then be willing to be vulnerable enough to have those hard, uncomfortable yet needed conversations with yourself and others.

Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join the #iSpeakLife Society fbcvr (2)

Join every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for your Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get you through the day.  For the month of April, we will be talking about FEAR.

Not on Periscope? Download the periscope app on your phone. Search for me (TrueheartSpeaks). Follow me. Turn notifications on so you are notified whenever I am on Live.  Then be on the lookout when I’m live.

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Focus Your Focus

Focus Your Focus (2)

So this month I’m talking to my ‘peripeeps’ about focus. We are talking about all things focus. Things like what is focus, why focus is important, and why we don’t have focus.

It’s been really good!

The first morning #LifeScope started off a little shaky with a few unexpected distractions, but I didn’t expect anything less since we were talking about focus.  We all know that when we start to focus and hone in on something, we get all sorts of distractions coming from everywhere.

I know you know… you’ve decided to start saving money and what happens, your favorite store has an UBERLY AWESOME sale.  You’ve decided to cut back on sweets and the office decides to have a birthday party or potluck with ALLLLL of stuff you said you were going to stop eating.

When we finally make up our minds to do something, all kinds of distractions come from out of nowhere.

So rather than share all of the juicy nuggets, I shared on periscope (that would take forever), I decided to share the actual videos from this past week’s #LifeScopes.

Just so you know, I’m on periscope every Mon-Thurs with the Morning LifeScope at 7:15am. If you’ve yet to join me, I suggest you get with the program and join me live or catch the replays.  They have been GOOD!!!

So here are last weeks videos on focus.

  • Monday: Focus – Don’t Give Up
  • Tuesday: Why Focus is important
  • Wednesday: Why We Don’t Have Focus
  • Thursday: What If You Are Focusing on the Wrong Thing

After checking out the videos, make sure you tweet me and let me know your thoughts on what I shared.

If you aren’t sure how to focus, get your focus back or understand why you can’t focus, let’s schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to help you wrap your head around all that’s happening and get your clear and somewhat focused. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love. :)

Attention ladies!! — If you are a woman of faith looking to live purposefully and grow spiritually, then join me here: bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety.  This group will help you get out of your own way and get to the business of living! Join me and a host of fabulous ladies in the #iSpeakLife Society Facebook Group.

Join every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for your Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get you through the day.  For the month of March, we will be talking about FOCUS.

Not on Periscope? Download the periscope app on your phone. Search for me (TrueheartSpeaks). Follow me. Turn notifications on so you are notified whenever I am on Live.  Then be on the lookout when I’m live.

Keep Going

Keep Going

A few weeks ago I travelled to Charlotte, NC with my family to see one my #BFF’s. It’s been way too long to count how many years it’s been since I’ve been to Charlotte to visit since she moved there.

Well on the way there, the weather was crazy.

One minute it was snowy, the next minute it was clear. Another minute it was rain-snowing and the next it was a white out. Yes to the point where I had to put the blinkers on while snailing (driving like 1 mile per hour) along the highway.

To say that we were ecstatic to finally arrive, was an understatement. Especially with a four year old asking what seemed like every hour, ‘Are we almost there?”  As I was driving, it dawned on me that life is sometimes like the almost 11 hour drive to Charlotte.

In this life, you will have ups and downs. You will also have days where you know where you want to go but the way seems so cloudy or snowy that you can barely see what’s in front of you.

Some days are as clear as a squeaky clean window where you can see exactly where you are going as far down the path as your eyes can take you. The path seems easy, simple and smooth sailing.

That is, until you hit a white patch or rain coming down so hard that you have to pull over until it subsides.

Know what I mean?

I imagine you do. I imagine you might be in one of those white-out periods where you can’t see your way through and you’re not sure how long it will be before it clears up.

You might be in a ‘raining so hard I had to pull over’ moment where you just have to put a pause on whatever is going on, get your self together and let it the process play out.

Maybe your situation is different. Maybe it’s smooth sailing for you.

Listen, no matter where you are in the journey called life, my message to you is KEEP GOING.

Don’t stop.

Don’t get comfortable.

Don’t become stagnant.

KEEP GOING. 

If you have to pull over…

If you have to slow down to a snail’s pace…

If you have to stop and ask for directions because you seem lost.

If you need to turn around or get off and go back to the last exit because you missed where you supposed to get off.

If you have to stop and get gas.

Do it…

But please don’t stop.

Pause.

But.

KEEP GOING!

My prayer is that no matter how hard life has been for you…

It will get better and it can get better.

Listen, I don’t know your story and for darn sure have no clue what you might be dealing with right now, but what I do know is if you are still here reading this message, you still have some life to live and a purpose to fulfill.

Just stay the course.

Don’t give up.

KEEP GOING!

KEEP GOING!

Your only assignment this week, is to NOT throw in the towel and KEEP GOING. 

If you aren’t sure how to keep going, let’s schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to help you wrap your head around all that’s happening and get your clear and somewhat focused. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If these messages are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up give a girl some love.:)

Attention ladies!! — If you are a woman of faith looking to live purposefully and grow spiritually, then join me here: bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety.  This group will help you get out of your own way and get to the business of living! Join me and a host of fabulous ladies in the #iSpeakLife Society Facebook Group.

Join every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for your Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get you through the day.  For the month of March, we will be talking about FOCUS.

Not on Periscope? Download the periscope app on your phone. Search for me (TrueheartSpeaks). Follow me. Turn notifications on so you are notified whenever I am on Live.  Then be on the lookout when I’m live.

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Are you clogged up?

Are you clogged up-

So hubby got his truck fixed a little while back. His engine light had been on for some time and since he couldn’t figure out what was causing the light to stay on, he finally took it to a mechanic to get a diagnostic. There were a few things wrong with it, so in order to really figure it out it had to be diagnosed. The mechanic called and said that among other things, the truck was clogged and needed to be flushed out. He flushed it out, then gave it a oil change along with a few other things.

As honey was giving me the details, I asked how long it had been since he had the truck flushed, he said never. I said “babe that’s a revelation.”  (Sidenote: I can find revelations and aha’s in ANYTHING.) The car was acting funny because it had all of this junk inside of it that needed to be flushed out.

Now you may be wondering how this story applies to you.

Well let me ask you this:

  • Are there areas of your life where you are clogged up? where you’ve got ‘junk’ that you need to have flushed out because it’s causing you to be clogged? If so, which areas are they? 
  • What areas of your life aren’t working properly because you haven’t taken the time to do a diagnostic on yourself to see where you need to be flushed?
  • Do you need to make an appointment to see a professional to have a certain area of your life assessed and flushed?

When I say flushed, I mean what areas of your life do you need to get rid of the junk that’s hindering you from operating at your fullest potential and capacity?

You see…

When we transitioned into 2016 almost three months ago, many people believed that a new year equated to new everything. But it didn’t. They thought new year meant the old stuff no longer mattered and was left behind.

Newsflash… it wasn’t.

There are some things you brought into this new year and will possibly take in this next month, if not dealt with. You will go into the new clogged if you didn’t take time to deal with and flush out those old areas of your life that aren’t operating at full potential.

  • You must deal with it. 
  • You must do the work. 
  • You must put the time in. 
  • You see what you put in is what you get out. 

Beside, who knew that a car needed to be flushed out anyway?

Heck, I didn’t.

Well that doesn’t really say too much about me, since I don’t know much about cars anyway. But maybe you didn’t know that YOU were clogged up. Maybe you are just now finding out that transformation takes time. (You’ll hear me say this a lot this year). Maybe you didn’t know you needed to asses your life and its various facets.

You knew something wasn’t right but you weren’t really sure what to do about it. You thought if you just kept moving along that it would take care of itself and just go away after awhile.

Well love, that’s not the case.

  • You need to deal with it.
  • You need to address it.
  • You need to be in the know about your mess.

If there is an area of your life that isn’t operating at its best, take some time to assess it and I am gong to help you get started.

On a scale of 1-10, I want you to assess the following areas of your life, which I call the 7 Facets of You™. 1 meaning I’m totally clogged and 10 meaning no cloggage (I made that up, lol, this word doesn’t exist) on this end. I’m good.

Spiritual: How are you doing spiritually? Do you spend consistent time with God? Or do you just drop in when you need something or when something goes wrong? Are you reading your bible, praying, and meditating? If you’re reading this and you’re not a Christian, what areas are you lacking in your faith? What areas are you excelling

Emotional: How are you managing your emotions? Do they get the best of you? Do you have control over them? Do you know your triggers/buttons?  How do you currently respond? How will you respond differently when those buttons are pushed?

Mental: Are you a positive patty or a negative nancy? Do your thoughts control you or do you properly control and manage your thoughts? Do you think about what you think about? What are you feeding your mind? Do you suffer from mental illness but won’t get it check out?  If you were dealing a mental illness, do you know the signs and symptoms? Are you regularly taking any medication that has been prescribed?

Physical: Are you properly taking care of your body. Are you eating right? Do you exercise? Are you getting enough sleep and rest (there is a difference)?Have you ever done a detox or a fast? Have you been to the doctor, obgyn, dentist, optometrist & any other Doctor you need to see on a regular basis? When’s the last time you went?

Relational: Check your relationships with your spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends. Check in with those you love and value. Are making time to spend with them? Do you hang around toxic people or people who love encourage, inspire and challenge you? Let the toxic people go. Allow more people who love, encourage, inspire and challenge you into your life?

Professional/educational: How are things at work or school? Do you work in a toxic place? Are you operating at your fullest potential or you just ‘there’? Are you doing your best at school or are you just barely passing? Are you seeking professional development?  Are you sharpening your skills so you operate at your fullest capacity at work and/or in school?

Financial: Are you a spender or a saver? Do you have savings? Do you have a bank account? Do you have a will? Do you have life insurance? Do you have health insurance? Do you have an emergency fund? Do you have 6-12 months saved in case you loose your job or decide to work full time in your business? How’s your money? Do you have money issues that stem from previous generations? Do you have a wealth mindset or a poverty mindset?

I know theses are a lot of questions to ponder, however you have to start somewhere and you need to know what areas in your life are clogged in order to unclog them so you can operate properly.  Plus I want to leave you without excuse when it comes to identifying areas that you may not have thought of that just might be clogged up.

Your turn…

The first step is to acknowledge what’s not working and then figure out why it’s not working. The truck is now fixed but the check engine light is still on, so it has to go back to the mechanic to get more testing.

Now here’s the thing, as I stated earlier, transformation takes time. Once you know what areas you need to work on, you then have to do the work to get unclogged. You may, however, find that after doing one thing, the issue may not be resolved.

You may have to go back and see what else you missed. That’s ok. That’s life. Life is never perfect. There are highs and there are lows, sometimes at the same time. While one person in your family has a baby another just passed away. You get a raise in your job and the dryer breaks. It happens.

The key here is awareness. Don’t be so naive or lazy that you don’t think you have to put anything in to get anything out.  Review the 7 Facets of You™ and really assess those areas of your life that might be clogged and then take one step today to start flushing things out.

Take some time to do the work and then stay the course.

Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. Did you get the FREE Quiet Time Checklist that I gave away?  If not, click here to get yours.
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P.P.S. Have you joined the #iSpeakLife Society?  It’s my FREE Private Facebook Group for women of faith who know they need to get out of their own way so they can live purposefully and grow spiritually. Click here + request access.
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P.P.P.S. Have a question or a challenge and need immediate feedback?  Schedule a 45-Minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to flush out all of your thoughts and ask me as many questions as needed to get clear and get started. Learn more here –> bit.ly/pickmybrain45
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Stop worrying about ‘them.’ DO YOU!

So we’ve been talking about quiet time this month.  Have you implemented any of the strategies I have been sharing with you?  I sure hope so because when you get serious about spending quiet time not only with yourself but also with God, things start to change.  YOU start to change and that’s a great thing!

Well not so great if you don’t do what God is instructing you to do because it takes you out of your comfort zone and into your courageous faith zone.  Sometimes we don’t do what we need to do because we are worried or concerned about what ‘they’ will think.  We get caught up in doing what works for them to appease them at the expense of doing what works for us.

NOT GOOD!

You see, getting quiet and spending time with God may inconvenience a few people and it may even inconvenience you a little bit but you have to do what God is tugging at you to do.  You have to do what works for you instead of what other people may think or say and in spite of how you feel.

I happened to get a notification this morning that someone had commented on a blog I wrote about two years ago and as I was preparing for this week’s message, I realized that this oldie but goodie was just what you and I needed. It’s all about doing what works for you, instead of them.

Click here to read more about how you can start (if you haven’t already) doing what works for you.  And if it looks familiar, no worries, read it again because it’s good and because it’s updated with a few more juicy nuggets.:)

After reading it, make sure you let me know how you liked it.  Click the like button, share a comment in the comment section, and then hop over to the #iSpeakLife Society so we can chat about how you can do more of what works for you and less of what works for ‘them.’

If you aren’t sure how to get started doing what works for you, let’s schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to get you moving and out of our own way. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. Did you get the FREE Quiet Time Checklist that I gave away?  If not, click here to get yours.
quiet time email header
P.P.S. Have you joined the #iSpeakLife Society?  It’s my FREE Private Facebook Group for women of faith who know they need to get out of their own way so they can live purposefully and grow spiritually. Click here + request access.
Join the #iSpeakLife Society fbcvr (2)
P.P.P.S. Have a question or a challenge and need immediate feedback?  Schedule a 45-Minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to flush out all of your thoughts and ask me as many questions as needed to get clear and get started. Learn more here –> bit.ly/pickmybrain45
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Why Quiet Time is crucial and critical

Why quiet time is crucial
Per your request, this month I will be focusing on quiet time with God. If you were on my 5 day challenge on periscope, you received some short, simple but powerful strategies to get started if you’ve been struggling with this topic. If not, you missed a really good time.  We had a blast!
In today’s busy world, people say they are busy. But let’s be honest, we make and create time for what we want to do or have. If it’s important, we make and create time for it. If it’s not, we don’t. So it’s safe to say we really aren’t that busy, we’ve just decided that quiet time with God isn’t as important as some of the other things we ‘have’ to do.
I think we assume that when we don’t create time to spend with God, it’s not that big of a deal. Well guess what, it is. Quiet time is essential to your walk with God. Quiet time is essential to not only hearing from God, but hearing CLEARLY.
If the only time we go to God is when we need something, what type of message does that give him?
Let me explain…
What if the only time someone in your life spoke to you or spent time with you, was when they wanted or needed something?
They never called or texted, just to talk and see how you were doing. They ONLY called when they wanted or needed something.
I bet you can think of a few people that come to mind.
Well we don’t want to be that person with God. We want to intentionally spend time with him on a regular basis, whether we need something or not. And let’s be honest, we always need God. There’s never a time when we don’t need Him in our lives. But by spending time with Him, we show Him we appreciate him.
I go in depth on this topic in the recording from day three of the 5 day quiet time challenge.  Click here to check out day three of my quiet time challenge on why quiet time is crucial and critical.
Once you check out the video, let me know if you’ve been guilty of putting everything and everyone above your quiet time with God.
Until Next Time…
Hug + Love+ Prayers
Detra
P.S. Did you get the FREE Quiet Time Checklist that I gave away?  If not, click here to get yours.
quiet time email header
P.P.S. Have you joined the #iSpeakLife Society?  It’s my FREE Private Facebook Group for women of faith who know they need to get out of their own way so they can live purposefully and grow spiritually. Click here + request access.
Join the #iSpeakLife Society fbcvr (2)
P.P.P.S. Have a question or a challenge and need immediate feedback?  Schedule a 45-Minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to flush out all of your thoughts and ask me as many questions as needed to get clear and get started. Learn more here –> bit.ly/pickmybrain45
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How to hear from God more clearly during your quiet time.

Hear from God during Quiet Time

In preparation for 2016, I shared a survey asking a series of questions. One of which was “Which of the following areas do you struggle with the most?” There were about 5-7 topics that rose to the top of the list. I then asked my blog readers, my vip email list & the women in my private fb page which of those topics you’d like me start with and can you guess which one had the highest number?

Yep you guessed it, it was quiet time with God to clearly hear from Him. Now if you are reading this and thinking, that wasn’t on my list, no worries, I’ll be addressing all of the top topics you selected at some point throughout this year.

I got you!😉

Ok so with that said, I wanted to share what works for me when I need to hear from God more clearly during my quiet time. Now let me say that it’s been almost 20 years since I committed my life to Christ, so don’t be so hard on yourself. This is a skill that takes time, patience, diligence and consistency.

You may not automatically recognize the voice of God because you aren’t sure if it’s him or you. I get it. I’ve been there and to be honest if I’m not careful to set time aside to commune and spend time with God, even some 19 years later, I question if what I heard was Him.  If I happen to busy myself with the world’s cares and my own cares without giving them to him and letting him guide me through them, I get caught up in the busyness and chaotic noise of the world around me.

Can you relate?

  • You want to spend time with God but you don’t know where to start. 
  • You want to hear from him more clearly but aren’t sure if what you hear is him.
  • Your life is so crazy that trying to find quiet time is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
  • You hear people say they hear from God but you have no clue what that’s like.
If any of these hit home, well let me tell you this… YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Spending time with God is just like spending time
with any other person you want to get close to.
#QuietTimeChallenge

Can you remember a time when you were dating someone and you wanted to be with them all the time? Even with a busy schedule, you made time for them.

Why?

Well because you wanted to see your boo. I don’t care how long of a day you had, you weren’t going to let that day go by without talking to or seeing him/her.

Take a second and really think about it.

This is what God wants from us. He wants to spend time with us. He wants to talk to us. He wants to love on is. He wants to be the first and last thing on our minds and in our hearts.

Now I know what you’re saying, “yeah Detra that’s sounds good and all and yes that’s what I want, but how do I get to that point.”

I get it and I’m going to help you out.

Below are some of the things I do to hear from God more clearly during my quiet time.

Yes I use them!

Check them out and figure out what you can immediately implement.

  • Schedule it in. Put it in your calendar.
  • Start small. Set aside at least 10-15 minutes. If you’ve never done this, don’t schedule 30 minutes to an hour. You will overwhelm yourself. 
  • Eliminate all distractions.
  • Set the tone with worship music.
  • Be Open.
  • Read God’s word and let it speak to you.
  • Get Quiet.
  • Reflect on what you read and how it will affect you today.
  • Get a journal/notebook to write down what you hear.
  • Be consistent. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but keep at it.

Now keep in mind there are other things you can do to hear from God more clearly but here are just a few to help you get started. Also remember that prayer and quiet time are different. You’re idea of prayer may be giving God your laundry list of to dos, saying amen, then getting up and going about your day without letting Him respond.

Stop it!

That’s not prayer, that’s a monologue. This is why you may not be able to hear clearly from him. You haven’t sat still long enough to allow him to respond. Once you pray, sit tight, get quiet and let God speak.


Give God the same kind of love and attention you want from Him.

#QuietTimeChallenge

Listen, there are days that I don’t say a word other than “God I want to hear from you. Speak to me today. I need you.”

Especially if what I’m going through has me on my last leg and there really isn’t anything else for me to say.

If you’ve been there you know what I mean.

Hopefully this post and the strategies I shared will help you on your journey to hearing from God more clearly.

Want to have these suggestions at your disposal to print and hang up to refer to?

Awesome!

I figured you would, so I created a Quiet Time Checklist for you to refer to when having your quiet time with God.

quiet time email header

Next time you prepare to get quiet and have some alone time with God, use my FREE QUIET TIME CHECKLIST to help position you to hear everything God wants to say to you.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

Detra

P.S. Make sure you comment below or in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group to let me know if this post and the checklist were helpful to you.
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P.S.S. Join me this week for my 5 Day Quiet Time Challenge, Monday-Friday from 7am-7:15am on Periscope.
Quiet Time Challenge
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Do you really know what you want?

Do you really know what you want-

As we are closing out the first month of 2016 and heading into month two, I want to ask you a question, do you know what you want?

Yes it’s a simple but loaded question.

Do you REALLY know what you want?

Better yet let me ask you this, what does God want from you?

These two questions are huge because I’d like to know what your goals were for 2016 and how are you coming along in making those goals happen.

I know tons of people who went out and got planners, journals, highlighters, colored pens, post its, made these audacious goals and then went and took a nap.:)

Nothing happened.

Or something small happened, but nothing major.

Why, because it was overwhelming.

Now I will say this, maybe you were one of the many who got off to a good start. You created your goals and you started making things happen.

But I would go a little further to say that those who didn’t, weren’t really clear on what they wanted and didn’t really have a plan in place to make it happen.

I’m apart of an online women’s professional group and each Friday we host a weekly prayer call with a monthly theme. This month’s theme was “No More Excuses.” It was powerful! As I’m thinking about the excuses that get in the way of our goals, I started thinking about how we plan and decide what we want to accomplish.

In addition to being a speaker and coach/strategist for women, I teach a Student Success Strategies Class in an Adult Education Program and the first module is Goal Management. I teach the students to identify goals they’d like to accomplish and then we go through a series of lessons in the module. One of which is mapping our goals out long and short term.

So real quick… let me ask you a question.

Are you pursuing something that sounds good or are you working towards something that really moves you to action?

Many of us create goals that sound good. But that’s the problem. Once we create the goal, we aren’t really sure why we are doing it and we have no solid plan or strategy for making it happen.

As we launch into February, the second month of 2016, I want you to spend some time thinking about what you really want. I mean really want. This year I’ve purposed to get my finances in order. Not just my money, but my overall financial health i.e. creating a will, confirming another life insurance policy, creating an emergency fund & 6 months of savings… you get the gist.

There are a few other things I’m working toward like my physical health and growing even closer the God. You see, 2016 is all about loving me and loving me enough to do what’s best for me this year and no one else. It’s about filling my cup in overflow. Doing the work God has called me to do and being whole.

If you didn’t know, 16 in biblical numbers represents love.

So my question to you is what areas of your life do you need to love on?

As a somewhat recovering workaholic in training who works hard not to work when I want to work all the time, I’m working to create more balance in my life which means not just having work that I enjoy but also a life that enjoy. It’s means making time for honey and me as well as creating family time for my husband & my son and in order to spend together and create memories. My son is four and growing so fast that I don’t want to look up and it’s a blur.

So in focusing on all areas of my life, this encompasses what I call the 7 Facets of You™ (Spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, relational, professional/educational, & financial). 2016 is the year that I love on every area. I’ve written out how I want to grow in these areas this year and I’m committed to doing the work.

So as for you, again, my question is… What do you really want?

When you think about your life and what you desire over the long run, what do you want from your life and in your life and for your life? My next question is are you willing to do the work that’s necessary to get what you want? Lastly, is what you want in alignment with what God wants from you?

One thing I’m sure of is that if what you want isn’t in alignment with what God wants for you, you can be sure it isn’t going to work out or at least not to the magnitude that it could if His hand was on it.

Since January is done and February is basically here, I want you to take some time to realistically think about what you want.

  • What do you want for yourself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, relationally, professionally/educationally, & financially?

Then create 1-2 things you know you can work on this year. Don’t make them too big, but big enough to where they stretch you. Think about your why.

  • Why do want what you want? What drives you?  What or who are your motivators?
  • How does that enhance your life and the lives of those connected to you?

I also want you to put it somewhere visible as a constant reminder and then be open to God changing it if He sees fit.

Lastly I want you to break your goals down into quarterly (90 days), monthly (30 days) weekly (7 days), & daily goals.

  • What will be accomplished every quarter to accomplish your goal?
  • What needs to be done every month to accomplish the quarterly goal?
  • What needs to happen every week to accomplish the monthly goal?
  • What needs to happen every day to accomplish the weekly goal?

Now depending on your focus, you may not have to do something everyday. For example, hubby and I are doing the 52 week money challenge. But since we can never remember to do it chronologically, we are just saving $26 every week and putting it in an account. You see we aren’t doing anything daily, this is more of a weekly goal. The important thing is to get clear on what you want, why you want it, what making it happen actually looks like. Then do the work to make it happen.

I hope this helps you off to a better start for your year and if you’ve been hiding under the covers in overwhelm, you can come out now.:)

*|FNAME|*, these are the very questions I ask my clients and students. So you have a head start on getting clear on what you really want.

You’ve got your marching orders, now get to work!

Tell me in the comment section below what you want and why you want it? Or hope over to the #iSpeakLife Society to share your comments.

Need help … No worries!

Schedule a 45-Minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to flush out all of your thoughts and ask me as many questions as needed to get clear and get started. Learn more here –> bit.ly/pickmybrain45

Until next time…

Hugs + Love + Prayers

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