What’s in your head?

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Happy beginning of the third week of 2017! 😉

Happy Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

I hope this year is off to an awesome start for you. Today is page 16 in chapter one of your book called 2017. What have you been writing daily on your life pages?  You should have 15 pages ‘written.’

Ok so onto my message for you…

A few weeks ago I was listening to the audio recording of one of my favorite motivational speakers. I had it on repeat. After my Morning LifeScope, my son comes down stairs and while listening to it, he says “mommy cut that off.” Paying him no attention, I keep listening. After multiples of him saying “turn it off,” he said something that struck my attention. He said, “mommy turn that off. If you keep playing it, it’s going to be in my head and I don’t want it in my head.”

I’m not sure if you caught that.

He said, “if you keep playing it, it’s going to be in my head.”

I wonder who and what you allow to keep playing, thus allowing it to get in your head and maybe stay there. I’m not even sure my son knows the magnitude of what he said, but I did.

Even as a 5 year old, he had enough sense to know that if you listen to something long enough, it gets in your head and you start to replay what you’ve heard over and over again. This is the very reason we have to be careful of what and who we listen to.

This is why we have to be careful of what we rehearse over and over and over in our heads.
You see, what or who you listen to has the power to influence you and your life as well as how you view yourself and your life.

Maybe you’ve being hearing you’re not good enough or you’re not qualified or you’ll never get married or nobody has ever done what you’re trying to do.

Ever wonder why you can hear a song in your head without it playing. You see, you heard multiple times, now it’s in your head.

Just like my son said.

So now that you know what and who you listen to can impact you, what are you going to do about it?

Here are a few suggestions:

• Change what you are listening to.
• Change who you are listening to.
• Rehearse a new story. You don’t have to believe what you hear.
• Be intentional with who you allow to speak into you.
• Be intentional with what you allow yourself to hear.

If someone begins to speak something negative over your life, reject it and replace with what you know to be true or what God says about you.

It’s a new year, do something NEW, something DIFFERENT.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

40 … and counting…

Ok so I just celebrated my 40th birthday on August 12th and now that I’m 40, here are a few things that I’ve learned about life and myself…

1. Friends change. People change. I change. God doesn’t.
2. People love you the best they know how
3. I’m still evolving. I haven’t arrived just yet. 🙂
4. I’m still learning who I am and who I’m becoming. I am loving who I am becoming.
5. People suck sometimes. They don’t turn out to be who you thought
6. Life sucks sometimes. It doesn’t turn out to be what you thought
7. There’s nothing wrong with rest or naps. (if you know anything about me, you know I love naps)
8. Asking for or receiving help doesn’t make any less of a person/woman
9. I’m stronger than I give myself credit for
10. I’m good (really good) at what I do and it’s ok to toot my own horn and know my worth.
11. I’ve done good work in this world.
12. I still have more work to do.
13. God is faithful and His grace is sufficient.
14. You get what you allow.
15. Boundaries are everything.
16. Quiet time is everything.
17. I’m honored and blessed to be a wife and a mom. Some people may never experience that.
18. People pleasing and seeking the approval of others is NO-NO.
19. I no longer care what you think.
20. What God thinks is more important.
21. What you do isn’t who you are.
22. Learn to learn who you are more than what you do.  I am learning this everyday.
23. Sometimes the people closest to you won’t get it. Love them anyway. Find people who do get it.
24. We all make mistakes. Some small. Some really, REALLY BIG!
25. Grant people the same grace you’d want if you’re BIG mistakes were out on front street.
26. I now know that I can forgive for me, but not tolerate you.
27. Forgiveness doesn’t mean I have to allow you back into my space.
28. I’m not perfect (just in case you didn’t know) and I don’t have to be.
29. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had.
30. Saying no is a complete sentence.  No explanation is needed.
31. I mean what I say.
32. Trust the process even when it sucks.
33. I absolutely adore my husband.  He gets me. He listens and hears even when I think he doesn’t.
34. I don’t always like my husband, but he gets me.
35. He doesn’t always like me, but I get him.
36. Take yourself serious, but don’t take yourself so serious.
37. When God is in it, it always works out of your good.
38. I don’t have to do it because you want me to. I do have a choice!
39. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about what life would look like at 40.  But I’m already thinking about what I want it to look like at 50. 😉
40. People mean well, but many of them are more talk than walk.

 

BONUSES Life Lessons (I couldn’t stop at 40):

1. I prefer quiet time. Tea. Snuggles on the couch rather than being around a lot of people.
2. I think I am what they call and Ambivert. I’m both introvert and extrovert.  I like people but I need to be alone. I’m a beast when I have to be (on stage, teaching, preaching, etc.) but then I need quiet time to recharge.
3. I’ve learned to get out of my own way. I can be my own worst enemy sometimes.
4. Stop overthinking everything.
5. Progression not perfection. It will never be perfect. Done beats perfect everyday.
6. I’ve wasted lots of time thinking about getting ready to get ready.
7. Sometimes you just have to do and figure it out as you go.
8. Marriage only works if you work it.
9. Parenting only works if you work it and sometimes it doesn’t when you are raising a four-year old.
10. Balance doesn’t exist.  It’s whatever you make it to be.
11. Being a Mom, Wife, Adjunct Instructor, Entrepreneur, Ministry Leader (and any other role I have) is hard some days.  Some days I want to hide up under a rock.
12. Never assume people know what you need. Tell them. Thats why it’s called communication. Still learning this… Honey should know exactly what I’m thinking all ALL TIMES… right? 😉 nope… lol

 

Ok.. ok… ok… I’m done. 🙂

I could most assuredly go on but I won’t.

So many life lessons learned that we could be here all day.  I hope you enjoy what I shared.  Let me know in the comments section or tweet me which lesson you connected with the most. You should know that on the eve of my 10th wedding anniversary (8.19.16), so some of these could go into a married life – life lessons post, but overall they are still life lessons.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment here on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

Register for my #LifeScope Master Class: Crush Procrastination – Get Started & Stop Stuntin’  Wednesday, August 31,2 016 – 8:30PM EST. Investment: $37.00. Register at http://www.trueheartspeaks.com/events.

Conflict schedule? Replay will be emailed to all who register.

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a 45-minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living but need to support of your sister-friends?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope on periscope or Facebook. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of August, we are chatting all about Procrastination.

Do The Work

I know you’ve heard the saying “the grass is/isn’t greener on the other side.” You’ve probably also heard it said that the reason we think the grass is greener on the other side is because we pay more attention to ‘their’ grass instead of tending to our own.

Well, I want to take a moment to talk about doing the work.

About a year ago, hubby and I talked about taking better care of our grass. You see we have this neighbor who has impeccable grass. Check out the photo below… You’ll noticed the not-so-cared-for-grass is ours and the really nice grass is that of our neighbors across the street.

Well one of the things that I’ve learned about watching our neighbor is that you’ve got to be in it for the long haul if you want your grass to be green just like the grass on the other side. And just so you know, while writing on my porch, my neighbor had already been out watering his grass and tending to his lawn.  Talk about consistency.

Over the years, I (we) noticed that every chance he got he’s be out two sometimes three times a day watering, cutting, trimming his grass. He was doing the work.

Hubby and I on the other hand… NOT! (lol)

We wanted the green grass like our neighbor but we’d just been offering lip service. You know, talking a good game.

Well since writing this post (it’s been about a week), guess what I’ve been doing?

Yep you guessed it!

DOING THE WORK!

I found our sprinkler, hooked it up to the hose so that I could water my own grass instead of watching my neighbor water his. It’s actually been 2-3 times this week. I’m pretty proud of myself, if I do say so myself.

Now you might be wondering how this applies you, well like hubby and I, I imagine you’ve got really good, no great lip service. You even know what to do (or maybe you don’t). You watch other people get their lives in order. You watch other people go after their dreams. You talk about how great their ‘grass’ looks and how you wish you could get yours to look like ‘theirs.‘ You talk about wanting what they have or something similar.

BUT you just sit by in admiration, sometimes with envy wishing and wanting things to be different however you aren’t doing anything different.

Let me ask you this?

• Are you willing to do the work needed to have the green grass (life, dreams, goals, etc.) you admire and desire?
• Are you willing to learn what’s needed to accomplish what you desire?
• Are you ready to start doing and stop talking or thinking about it?

You see, in addition to being willing to do the work, you may have to learn a new skill or get some training and you will most assuredly have to stop running your mouth and get to work.

I will say that there is still much to be done with my own grass, but I am proud to say that I am doing the work. My next step will be to buy some grass seed to make my lawn fuller, as well as get rid of some of the weeds, but I am committed to doing the work, what about you?

Your assignment:

1. Identify your ‘green grass.’ What have you been talking and thinking about doing but have yet to do? 
2. Stop talking and thinking about it.
3. Identify what’s needed in order for you to get started?  Do you have what you need or will you have to acquire tools, supplies, training, etc. (Don’t spend money if you don’t need to.)
4. Take some time to write in a journal why you haven’t gotten started today? What’s really holding you back. Sometimes it’s easier to admire what others are doing from a far than it is to put the work in.
5. Start today. Do the work. Do one thing today that will inch you towards achieving your ‘green grass.’

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I know that his/her grass seems greener on the other side, but you could have green grass if you would just do the work. @TrueheartSpeaks

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Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a 45-minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living but need to support of your sister-friends?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of July, we will be talking about the Book of Proverbs.

Quitting is NOT an Option

Now before you jump on this and refute the topic of this week’s message. Stay with me for a moment.

Last week I was faced with a decision. Some things weren’t panning out the way I had anticipated and I had the thought of just postponing my plans. Before making the final decision, as with most decisions, (yes as a type A personality, I don’t always consult with God on his plan for my life, but that’s another message) I went to the Lord in prayer. I asked what I should do. I sat quietly and the Lord immediately spoke to me saying, “you will keep going. Quitting, pausing, or postponing is not an option and would be too easy. You will stay the course and you will do the work.”

I sat there for a few seconds and internally said “ok.”

This story is still evolving so I can’t tell you how it ends just yet, but just know that since that conversation, things have started falling into place. But more importantly, I am doing the work.

This was never supposed to be about perfection but progression. I wanted things to happen a certain way and because, I felt like I had made a mistake or the timing was off.

So let me ask you something…

• What are you supposed to be doing that just doesn’t seem to be coming together? 
• What has God given you to do and because it’s seems harder than you thought, you’ve decided to push back the timetable?
• Or you’ve decided to just quit thinking it wasn’t meant to be?

I will tell you like I was told last week during my prayer time …
“You will keep going. Quitting, pausing, or postponing is not an option and would be too easy. You will stay the course and you will do the work.”
Get back in position. Get back on track. And as Beyoncé says, get into formation.

You see quitting, postponing, and pushing things back would be too easy. You’d be let off the hook. You start again and then it got hard, you do what you are doing now.

Not happening.

You’re going to do the work.
You’re going to stay the course.
You’re to follow the plan.

It’s just as simple as that.

It was never promised that life would be easy. It was never promised that we wouldn’t have to put some sweat equity into this thing called life.

Maybe you’ve gotten discouraged because you’re working to fix your finances and things just don’t seem to turning around as quickly as you’d like. Are you putting the work or are you expecting things to work out on their own. You haven’t changed what you do or how you do it. 

Listen, nothing changes if nothing changes.

DO THE WORK! 

Maybe you want your marriage to turn around for the better but you’re waiting on him/her to do something before you put in any work. Well then you don’t want it bad enough. What are you doing to create the marriage you desire? What changes have YOU made?

I could offer tons of examples but the premise of this message is this….

Stop thinking that because things aren’t going as expected, that you’re supposed to quit, post pone or push things back.

I know I know I know… there are times when quitting, letting go, pushing things back, is just what the doctor ordered.

This is not one of them.

Not when faith is involved and God has positioned you for greater and to do something you know you can’t do on your own. This is one of those times where you have to do what you can, so God can do what you can’t.

Do your part. Get back in the game. Get your mind and your heart back on track. Focus. Hone in. Get moving.

Even in the midst of the valleys and the dark alleys…

Stay the course. Keep your eyes on the prize. Push until you can’t push anymore.

Fight for your life.
Fight for your dreams.
Fight for your marriage.
Fight for your family.
Fight for your sanity.
Fight for your health.

No matter what it is…

QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION. 

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Stop thinking that because things aren’t going as expected, that you’re supposed to quit, post pone, or push things back.
@TrueheartSpeaks

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Your assignment:

This week, I want you to identify whatever you contemplated quitting, postponing or pushing back. Then, I want you to the get quiet, refocus, reframe, listen for instructions, then do what you’ve been putting off.  It’s just that simple. Reposition if you need to. Cut some things off if need be. Be get back in the game. Get your mind and your heart in sync, so your words and actions can follow.

Trust that He who began a good work in you, shall complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.  God didn’t bring you this far to leave you.  Could it be that he’s holding out to see if you want it bad enough.  He hasn’t moved, because you haven’t moved.  He will move on your behalf, when you do.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

ATLANTA — I am headed your way on Saturday, June 11th at 10m for the first stop on my #iSpeakLife Empowerment Experience for Women.  This event was designed for the successful yet busy and overwhelmed women who seldom takes time to refill her cup. Get more info and register at www.ispeaklifelive.com

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of May, we will be talking about MINDSET.

What are you waiting for?

So a few weeks ago, I challenged you to get out of your own way and start living with intention. My message stressing the fact that tomorrow is not promised was a clarion call to you to stop waiting on tomorrow.

With that being said, my message today is a continuation of the previous message. This past Friday, my hubby and I celebrated the life of friend that passed away who was 42 leaving behind his wife and ten year old son. Yes, crazy right!  It is very hard for me to think about raising my four-year-old son without his daddy but this will not be the reality for a set of four year old twins and now a 10 year old boy.

Some of you may have seen my facebook posts or you’ve heard me talk about it on facebook live or periscope but another husband and father left this world sooner than we would have like him to.  I won’t get into all of the specifics but I want to ask if you are living at your fullest capacity and if not, why?

What are you waiting for?  

I was at a Vision Book Party last weekend and a question was posed by one of the ladies and she asked about timing regarding the manifestation of dreams/goals. She basically wanted to know if there was a deadline on dreams and if she has missed her time.  As the conversation concluded, I simply asked her, “What are you waiting for?” and I will again ask you the same question.

What are you waiting for?  

After the sudden deaths of two really good people, there is an urgency for me to operate at my fullest capacity and do what really makes my heart smile.  I feel a sense of imperativeness to go full steam ahead to do what I know God has called me to do.  I will be 40 in a few months and although I know that God knows what He’s doing, I would hate to leave this world not having lived this life with a fullness and vibrancy that only I know can live it.

What about you? 

I mean really, time is of the essence and tomorrow is most assuredly not promised, so what will you do about it?

• Will you start writing the book?
• Will you work to clear up your credit?
• Will you start taking better care of yourself?
• Will you start the blog?
• Will you schedule the doctor’s appointment.
• Will you start the business or the ministry or the not for profit?
• Will you clear the clutter?
• Will you apply for the job?
• Will you update your resume?
• Will you fill out the application for school?
• Will you go on that vacation that you keep dreaming about?
• Will start saving for the vacation so you can actually make it a reality?

Will you just get started already or will you continue to let whatever is holding you back, keep you stuck, stalled and stagnant for another day, week, month, year or two years, like the woman who asked the question at the Vision Book Party?

Let me say this, if you are saying “Detra, I just don’t have time. I have too many other things going on in my life,” then you are focused on the wrong things and you need to reassess your priorities. You should only be giving those things that are highest priority to you, your time and energy. The problem is many of us are giving our time and energy to those things that drain and distract us from the essentials. Stop it!  If you struggle with this, get my Time Hacks for Busy Women training and workbook to help you start planning your day and your life around those things that matter most to you. (It’s 20% off until 5/25. Use the code: PMD16)

Listen, I trust God and believe that when our time is up, it’s in God’s timing. But what I won’t do is waste time while on this earth, letting my fear, my past, my present, people, or anything else keep me from living my best life. I read a book (I can’t remember which one) that said accumulate experiences not things and that’s what I plan to do. Hubby and I went on our first filed trip together with our son over the weekend and we had a blast. I don’t just want to work well, I want to live well and love big.

I am not sure what you are waiting on, but I challenge you to get out of your own way and get to the business of living. There is a group of people who are assigned to you who are waiting on you while you wait on … {you fill in the blank}.

Will you keep them (and yourself) waiting?

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Don’t just work well. Live well and love big.
@TrueheartSpeaks

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Your assignment:

If you didn’t do what I asked you to do from a few weeks ago, I want you to stop thinking about those things you’ve wanted to do but kept putting off and DO THEM! Start making time for the things that matter most to you. Stop waiting until ‘tomorrow.’ Take action today. I am not sure what you are waiting on but you have everything you need right now at this very moment to take your next best step. DO IT!
Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you need strategies to help you get out of your own way and take action, schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to chat about what’s holding you back, what you are waiting on and why you haven’t gotten started. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of May, we will be talking about MINDSET.

Boundaries…Do you have any?

For the past month or so I’ve been reading Dr. Brene Brown’s book Rising Strong. To put it simply, the book is about rising after you fall. Even though it’s a little more intricate than that, I’ll leave it at that.

Part of rising when you fall is learning to set boundaries, knowing what you want and being real with yourself. As I’m reading this book I’m learning that I’m not as good at setting boundaries as I thought. I found that my expectations of people aren’t always as clear as I think. So as the work in progress that I am, I’m working on it.

I also found that setting boundaries isn’t easy yet it’s very necessary if you’re going to live purposefully. In her book and in this video, Brene says…

“Boundaries are simply our lists of what’s okay and what’s not okay.“

I know it seems so simple. But let me ask you a few questions, do you have any boundaries? Have you identified what’s okay and what’s not okay in your life? Are they clear to those you interact with in life, love and work?

So even though we are no longer chatting about focus this month on periscope, I believe that boundaries come with focus. I believe that you can be more focused when you’ve created boundaries for what’s okay and what’s not okay. It makes saying yes and no that much easier. It makes knowing what to focus on easier when you already know what you want or what you expect.

Dr. Brene asks this question,

“What boundaries do I need to put in place so I can work from a place of integrity and extend the most generous interpretations of the intentions, words, and actions of others?“

She goes in to say,

“When we combine the courage to make clear what works for us and what doesn’t with compassion to assume people are doing their best, our lives change.“

Dr. Brene further asks this question about boundaries as it relates to self worth and self-value. She asks,

“How can we expect people to put value in our work when we don’t value ourselves enough to set and hold uncomfortable boundaries?“

Listen, there is so much more where that came from therefore I think the topic of boundaries is huge when we talk about focus and fear (our new topic this month). I think boundaries help us focus, keep us clear on our expectations and allow us to live in a place & space void of unwanted feelings because we are clear on what’s acceptable and what’s not. We are clear on what we will allow and what we won’t.

Do you have clear expectations of what’s acceptable and what’s not in your life?

Maybe things have gotten out of hand because there were no clear-cut expectations expressed.

Maybe things didn’t turn out the way you desired because you didn’t really know what you wanted or maybe you did but you went against that ‘gut’ feeling by accepting what you knew you should have said NO to.

I know reading Brene’s book has allowed me to see that there have been some cloudy spaces in my life that I believe have lead to frustration because I wasn’t clear on what I wanted. Or I knew what I wanted but didn’t ask because I didn’t want to seem complicated, overbearing, etc. But life has taught me that the only way real peace is created is when boundaries are created at the jump. I have to be clear on what I want and not afraid to ask for it, whether it’s money, love, time, etc.

Brene says

“compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.”

She goes in to say,

“as miserable as resentment, disappointment, and frustration make us feel, we fool ourselves into believing that they’re easier than the vulnerability of a difficult conversation. The truth is that judgment and anger take up way more emotional bandwidth for us.“

Ooooohhh that’s good…

• Are you carrying resentment due to unclear expectations and boundaries?
• Are you angry and resentful simply because you don’t want to have ‘that’ difficult conversation?

I’m still working through the book, so expect me to come back and share more of my ahas, but I want you to think about some of the questions Dr. Brene poses as well as those that I’ve asked. If you aren’t content with setting clear yet uncomfortable boundaries, then that may be why things aren’t going as smoothly as you’d like them to.

Part of focus is being clear on what’s acceptable and what’s not. Part of living purposefully in every area of your life, is setting boundaries that allow you to operate in your most loving and best self. It’s not about being who and what others want you be and denying yourself at the expense of others, which is what many angry, resentful and frustrated people are doing.

Are you one of them?

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Part of living purposefully in every area of your life, is setting boundaries that allow you to operate in your most loving and best self.

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Your assignment:

Go back through these questions and get really open and honest with yourself on whether you’ve created clear and concise boundaries. If you have, great! But if you haven’t, take some time to get clear on your list of what’s okay and what’s not okay and then be willing to be vulnerable enough to have those hard, uncomfortable yet needed conversations with yourself and others.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for your Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get you through the day.  For the month of April, we will be talking about FEAR.

Not on Periscope? Download the periscope app on your phone. Search for me (TrueheartSpeaks). Follow me. Turn notifications on so you are notified whenever I am on Live.  Then be on the lookout when I’m live.

Keep Going

A few weeks ago I travelled to Charlotte, NC with my family to see one my #BFF’s. It’s been way too long to count how many years it’s been since I’ve been to Charlotte to visit since she moved there.

Well on the way there, the weather was crazy.

One minute it was snowy, the next minute it was clear. Another minute it was rain-snowing and the next it was a white out. Yes to the point where I had to put the blinkers on while snailing (driving like 1 mile per hour) along the highway.

To say that we were ecstatic to finally arrive, was an understatement. Especially with a four year old asking what seemed like every hour, ‘Are we almost there?”  As I was driving, it dawned on me that life is sometimes like the almost 11 hour drive to Charlotte.

In this life, you will have ups and downs. You will also have days where you know where you want to go but the way seems so cloudy or snowy that you can barely see what’s in front of you.

Some days are as clear as a squeaky clean window where you can see exactly where you are going as far down the path as your eyes can take you. The path seems easy, simple and smooth sailing.

That is, until you hit a white patch or rain coming down so hard that you have to pull over until it subsides.

Know what I mean?

I imagine you do. I imagine you might be in one of those white-out periods where you can’t see your way through and you’re not sure how long it will be before it clears up.

You might be in a ‘raining so hard I had to pull over’ moment where you just have to put a pause on whatever is going on, get your self together and let it the process play out.

Maybe your situation is different. Maybe it’s smooth sailing for you.

Listen, no matter where you are in the journey called life, my message to you is KEEP GOING.

Don’t stop.

Don’t get comfortable.

Don’t become stagnant.

KEEP GOING. 

If you have to pull over…

If you have to slow down to a snail’s pace…

If you have to stop and ask for directions because you seem lost.

If you need to turn around or get off and go back to the last exit because you missed where you supposed to get off.

If you have to stop and get gas.

Do it…

But please don’t stop.

Pause.

But.

KEEP GOING!

My prayer is that no matter how hard life has been for you…

It will get better and it can get better.

Listen, I don’t know your story and for darn sure have no clue what you might be dealing with right now, but what I do know is if you are still here reading this message, you still have some life to live and a purpose to fulfill.

Just stay the course.

Don’t give up.

KEEP GOING!

KEEP GOING!

Your only assignment this week, is to NOT throw in the towel and KEEP GOING. 

If you aren’t sure how to keep going, let’s schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to help you wrap your head around all that’s happening and get your clear and somewhat focused. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If these messages are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up give a girl some love. 🙂

Attention ladies!! — If you are a woman of faith looking to live purposefully and grow spiritually, then join me here: bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety.  This group will help you get out of your own way and get to the business of living! Join me and a host of fabulous ladies in the #iSpeakLife Society Facebook Group.

Join every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for your Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get you through the day.  For the month of March, we will be talking about FOCUS.

Not on Periscope? Download the periscope app on your phone. Search for me (TrueheartSpeaks). Follow me. Turn notifications on so you are notified whenever I am on Live.  Then be on the lookout when I’m live.

Are you clogged up?

So hubby got his truck fixed a little while back. His engine light had been on for some time and since he couldn’t figure out what was causing the light to stay on, he finally took it to a mechanic to get a diagnostic. There were a few things wrong with it, so in order to really figure it out it had to be diagnosed. The mechanic called and said that among other things, the truck was clogged and needed to be flushed out. He flushed it out, then gave it a oil change along with a few other things.

As honey was giving me the details, I asked how long it had been since he had the truck flushed, he said never. I said “babe that’s a revelation.”  (Sidenote: I can find revelations and aha’s in ANYTHING.) The car was acting funny because it had all of this junk inside of it that needed to be flushed out.

Now you may be wondering how this story applies to you.

Well let me ask you this:

• Are there areas of your life where you are clogged up? where you’ve got ‘junk’ that you need to have flushed out because it’s causing you to be clogged? If so, which areas are they? 
• What areas of your life aren’t working properly because you haven’t taken the time to do a diagnostic on yourself to see where you need to be flushed?
• Do you need to make an appointment to see a professional to have a certain area of your life assessed and flushed?

When I say flushed, I mean what areas of your life do you need to get rid of the junk that’s hindering you from operating at your fullest potential and capacity?

You see…

When we transitioned into 2016 almost three months ago, many people believed that a new year equated to new everything. But it didn’t. They thought new year meant the old stuff no longer mattered and was left behind.

Newsflash… it wasn’t.

There are some things you brought into this new year and will possibly take in this next month, if not dealt with. You will go into the new clogged if you didn’t take time to deal with and flush out those old areas of your life that aren’t operating at full potential.

• You must deal with it. 
• You must do the work. 
• You must put the time in. 
• You see what you put in is what you get out. 

Beside, who knew that a car needed to be flushed out anyway?

Heck, I didn’t.

Well that doesn’t really say too much about me, since I don’t know much about cars anyway. But maybe you didn’t know that YOU were clogged up. Maybe you are just now finding out that transformation takes time. (You’ll hear me say this a lot this year). Maybe you didn’t know you needed to asses your life and its various facets.

You knew something wasn’t right but you weren’t really sure what to do about it. You thought if you just kept moving along that it would take care of itself and just go away after awhile.

Well love, that’s not the case.

• You need to deal with it.
• You need to address it.
• You need to be in the know about your mess.

If there is an area of your life that isn’t operating at its best, take some time to assess it and I am gong to help you get started.

On a scale of 1-10, I want you to assess the following areas of your life, which I call the 7 Facets of You™. 1 meaning I’m totally clogged and 10 meaning no cloggage (I made that up, lol, this word doesn’t exist) on this end. I’m good.

Spiritual: How are you doing spiritually? Do you spend consistent time with God? Or do you just drop in when you need something or when something goes wrong? Are you reading your bible, praying, and meditating? If you’re reading this and you’re not a Christian, what areas are you lacking in your faith? What areas are you excelling

Emotional: How are you managing your emotions? Do they get the best of you? Do you have control over them? Do you know your triggers/buttons?  How do you currently respond? How will you respond differently when those buttons are pushed?

Mental: Are you a positive patty or a negative nancy? Do your thoughts control you or do you properly control and manage your thoughts? Do you think about what you think about? What are you feeding your mind? Do you suffer from mental illness but won’t get it check out?  If you were dealing a mental illness, do you know the signs and symptoms? Are you regularly taking any medication that has been prescribed?

Physical: Are you properly taking care of your body. Are you eating right? Do you exercise? Are you getting enough sleep and rest (there is a difference)?Have you ever done a detox or a fast? Have you been to the doctor, obgyn, dentist, optometrist & any other Doctor you need to see on a regular basis? When’s the last time you went?

Relational: Check your relationships with your spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends. Check in with those you love and value. Are making time to spend with them? Do you hang around toxic people or people who love encourage, inspire and challenge you? Let the toxic people go. Allow more people who love, encourage, inspire and challenge you into your life?

Professional/educational: How are things at work or school? Do you work in a toxic place? Are you operating at your fullest potential or you just ‘there’? Are you doing your best at school or are you just barely passing? Are you seeking professional development?  Are you sharpening your skills so you operate at your fullest capacity at work and/or in school?

Financial: Are you a spender or a saver? Do you have savings? Do you have a bank account? Do you have a will? Do you have life insurance? Do you have health insurance? Do you have an emergency fund? Do you have 6-12 months saved in case you loose your job or decide to work full time in your business? How’s your money? Do you have money issues that stem from previous generations? Do you have a wealth mindset or a poverty mindset?

I know theses are a lot of questions to ponder, however you have to start somewhere and you need to know what areas in your life are clogged in order to unclog them so you can operate properly.  Plus I want to leave you without excuse when it comes to identifying areas that you may not have thought of that just might be clogged up.

Your turn…

The first step is to acknowledge what’s not working and then figure out why it’s not working. The truck is now fixed but the check engine light is still on, so it has to go back to the mechanic to get more testing.

Now here’s the thing, as I stated earlier, transformation takes time. Once you know what areas you need to work on, you then have to do the work to get unclogged. You may, however, find that after doing one thing, the issue may not be resolved.

You may have to go back and see what else you missed. That’s ok. That’s life. Life is never perfect. There are highs and there are lows, sometimes at the same time. While one person in your family has a baby another just passed away. You get a raise in your job and the dryer breaks. It happens.

The key here is awareness. Don’t be so naive or lazy that you don’t think you have to put anything in to get anything out.  Review the 7 Facets of You™ and really assess those areas of your life that might be clogged and then take one step today to start flushing things out.

Take some time to do the work and then stay the course.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. Did you get the FREE Quiet Time Checklist that I gave away?  If not, click here to get yours.

P.P.S. Have you joined the #iSpeakLife Society?  It’s my FREE Private Facebook Group for women of faith who know they need to get out of their own way so they can live purposefully and grow spiritually. Click here + request access.

P.P.P.S. Have a question or a challenge and need immediate feedback?  Schedule a 45-Minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to flush out all of your thoughts and ask me as many questions as needed to get clear and get started. Learn more here –> bit.ly/pickmybrain45

Stop worrying about ‘them.’ DO YOU!

So we’ve been talking about quiet time this month.  Have you implemented any of the strategies I have been sharing with you?  I sure hope so because when you get serious about spending quiet time not only with yourself but also with God, things start to change.  YOU start to change and that’s a great thing!

Well not so great if you don’t do what God is instructing you to do because it takes you out of your comfort zone and into your courageous faith zone.  Sometimes we don’t do what we need to do because we are worried or concerned about what ‘they’ will think.  We get caught up in doing what works for them to appease them at the expense of doing what works for us.

NOT GOOD!

You see, getting quiet and spending time with God may inconvenience a few people and it may even inconvenience you a little bit but you have to do what God is tugging at you to do.  You have to do what works for you instead of what other people may think or say and in spite of how you feel.

I happened to get a notification this morning that someone had commented on a blog I wrote about two years ago and as I was preparing for this week’s message, I realized that this oldie but goodie was just what you and I needed. It’s all about doing what works for you, instead of them.

Click here to read more about how you can start (if you haven’t already) doing what works for you.  And if it looks familiar, no worries, read it again because it’s good and because it’s updated with a few more juicy nuggets. 🙂

After reading it, make sure you let me know how you liked it.  Click the like button, share a comment in the comment section, and then hop over to the #iSpeakLife Society so we can chat about how you can do more of what works for you and less of what works for ‘them.’

If you aren’t sure how to get started doing what works for you, let’s schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to get you moving and out of our own way. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. Did you get the FREE Quiet Time Checklist that I gave away?  If not, click here to get yours.

P.P.S. Have you joined the #iSpeakLife Society?  It’s my FREE Private Facebook Group for women of faith who know they need to get out of their own way so they can live purposefully and grow spiritually. Click here + request access.

P.P.P.S. Have a question or a challenge and need immediate feedback?  Schedule a 45-Minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to flush out all of your thoughts and ask me as many questions as needed to get clear and get started. Learn more here –> bit.ly/pickmybrain45

Do you really know what you want?

As we are closing out the first month of 2016 and heading into month two, I want to ask you a question, do you know what you want?

Yes it’s a simple but loaded question.

Do you REALLY know what you want?

Better yet let me ask you this, what does God want from you?

These two questions are huge because I’d like to know what your goals were for 2016 and how are you coming along in making those goals happen.

I know tons of people who went out and got planners, journals, highlighters, colored pens, post its, made these audacious goals and then went and took a nap. 🙂

Nothing happened.

Or something small happened, but nothing major.

Why, because it was overwhelming.

Now I will say this, maybe you were one of the many who got off to a good start. You created your goals and you started making things happen.

But I would go a little further to say that those who didn’t, weren’t really clear on what they wanted and didn’t really have a plan in place to make it happen.

I’m apart of an online women’s professional group and each Friday we host a weekly prayer call with a monthly theme. This month’s theme was “No More Excuses.” It was powerful! As I’m thinking about the excuses that get in the way of our goals, I started thinking about how we plan and decide what we want to accomplish.

In addition to being a speaker and coach/strategist for women, I teach a Student Success Strategies Class in an Adult Education Program and the first module is Goal Management. I teach the students to identify goals they’d like to accomplish and then we go through a series of lessons in the module. One of which is mapping our goals out long and short term.

So real quick… let me ask you a question.

Are you pursuing something that sounds good or are you working towards something that really moves you to action?

Many of us create goals that sound good. But that’s the problem. Once we create the goal, we aren’t really sure why we are doing it and we have no solid plan or strategy for making it happen.

As we launch into February, the second month of 2016, I want you to spend some time thinking about what you really want. I mean really want. This year I’ve purposed to get my finances in order. Not just my money, but my overall financial health i.e. creating a will, confirming another life insurance policy, creating an emergency fund & 6 months of savings… you get the gist.

There are a few other things I’m working toward like my physical health and growing even closer the God. You see, 2016 is all about loving me and loving me enough to do what’s best for me this year and no one else. It’s about filling my cup in overflow. Doing the work God has called me to do and being whole.

If you didn’t know, 16 in biblical numbers represents love.

So my question to you is what areas of your life do you need to love on?

As a somewhat recovering workaholic in training who works hard not to work when I want to work all the time, I’m working to create more balance in my life which means not just having work that I enjoy but also a life that enjoy. It’s means making time for honey and me as well as creating family time for my husband & my son and in order to spend together and create memories. My son is four and growing so fast that I don’t want to look up and it’s a blur.

So in focusing on all areas of my life, this encompasses what I call the 7 Facets of You™ (Spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, relational, professional/educational, & financial). 2016 is the year that I love on every area. I’ve written out how I want to grow in these areas this year and I’m committed to doing the work.

So as for you, again, my question is… What do you really want?

When you think about your life and what you desire over the long run, what do you want from your life and in your life and for your life? My next question is are you willing to do the work that’s necessary to get what you want? Lastly, is what you want in alignment with what God wants from you?

One thing I’m sure of is that if what you want isn’t in alignment with what God wants for you, you can be sure it isn’t going to work out or at least not to the magnitude that it could if His hand was on it.

Since January is done and February is basically here, I want you to take some time to realistically think about what you want.

• What do you want for yourself spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, relationally, professionally/educationally, & financially?

Then create 1-2 things you know you can work on this year. Don’t make them too big, but big enough to where they stretch you. Think about your why.

• Why do want what you want? What drives you?  What or who are your motivators?
• How does that enhance your life and the lives of those connected to you?

I also want you to put it somewhere visible as a constant reminder and then be open to God changing it if He sees fit.

Lastly I want you to break your goals down into quarterly (90 days), monthly (30 days) weekly (7 days), & daily goals.

• What will be accomplished every quarter to accomplish your goal?
• What needs to be done every month to accomplish the quarterly goal?
• What needs to happen every week to accomplish the monthly goal?
• What needs to happen every day to accomplish the weekly goal?

Now depending on your focus, you may not have to do something everyday. For example, hubby and I are doing the 52 week money challenge. But since we can never remember to do it chronologically, we are just saving $26 every week and putting it in an account. You see we aren’t doing anything daily, this is more of a weekly goal. The important thing is to get clear on what you want, why you want it, what making it happen actually looks like. Then do the work to make it happen.

I hope this helps you off to a better start for your year and if you’ve been hiding under the covers in overwhelm, you can come out now. 🙂

*|FNAME|*, these are the very questions I ask my clients and students. So you have a head start on getting clear on what you really want.

You’ve got your marching orders, now get to work!

Tell me in the comment section below what you want and why you want it? Or hope over to the #iSpeakLife Society to share your comments.

Need help … No worries!

Schedule a 45-Minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to flush out all of your thoughts and ask me as many questions as needed to get clear and get started. Learn more here –> bit.ly/pickmybrain45

Until next time…

Hugs + Love + Prayers