Tag Archives: overcoming fear

What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for-

So a few weeks ago, I challenged you to get out of your own way and start living with intention. My message stressing the fact that tomorrow is not promised was a clarion call to you to stop waiting on tomorrow.

With that being said, my message today is a continuation of the previous message. This past Friday, my hubby and I celebrated the life of friend that passed away who was 42 leaving behind his wife and ten year old son. Yes, crazy right!  It is very hard for me to think about raising my four-year-old son without his daddy but this will not be the reality for a set of four year old twins and now a 10 year old boy.

Some of you may have seen my facebook posts or you’ve heard me talk about it on facebook live or periscope but another husband and father left this world sooner than we would have like him to.  I won’t get into all of the specifics but I want to ask if you are living at your fullest capacity and if not, why?

What are you waiting for?  

I was at a Vision Book Party last weekend and a question was posed by one of the ladies and she asked about timing regarding the manifestation of dreams/goals. She basically wanted to know if there was a deadline on dreams and if she has missed her time.  As the conversation concluded, I simply asked her, “What are you waiting for?” and I will again ask you the same question.

What are you waiting for?  

After the sudden deaths of two really good people, there is an urgency for me to operate at my fullest capacity and do what really makes my heart smile.  I feel a sense of imperativeness to go full steam ahead to do what I know God has called me to do.  I will be 40 in a few months and although I know that God knows what He’s doing, I would hate to leave this world not having lived this life with a fullness and vibrancy that only I know can live it.

What about you

I mean really, time is of the essence and tomorrow is most assuredly not promised, so what will you do about it?

  • Will you start writing the book?
  • Will you work to clear up your credit?
  • Will you start taking better care of yourself?
  • Will you start the blog?
  • Will you schedule the doctor’s appointment.
  • Will you start the business or the ministry or the not for profit?
  • Will you clear the clutter?
  • Will you apply for the job?
  • Will you update your resume?
  • Will you fill out the application for school?
  • Will you go on that vacation that you keep dreaming about?
  • Will start saving for the vacation so you can actually make it a reality?

Will you just get started already or will you continue to let whatever is holding you back, keep you stuck, stalled and stagnant for another day, week, month, year or two years, like the woman who asked the question at the Vision Book Party?

Let me say this, if you are saying “Detra, I just don’t have time. I have too many other things going on in my life,” then you are focused on the wrong things and you need to reassess your priorities. You should only be giving those things that are highest priority to you, your time and energy. The problem is many of us are giving our time and energy to those things that drain and distract us from the essentials. Stop it!  If you struggle with this, get my Time Hacks for Busy Women training and workbook to help you start planning your day and your life around those things that matter most to you. (It’s 20% off until 5/25. Use the code: PMD16)

Listen, I trust God and believe that when our time is up, it’s in God’s timing. But what I won’t do is waste time while on this earth, letting my fear, my past, my present, people, or anything else keep me from living my best life. I read a book (I can’t remember which one) that said accumulate experiences not things and that’s what I plan to do. Hubby and I went on our first filed trip together with our son over the weekend and we had a blast. I don’t just want to work well, I want to live well and love big.

I am not sure what you are waiting on, but I challenge you to get out of your own way and get to the business of living. There is a group of people who are assigned to you who are waiting on you while you wait on … {you fill in the blank}.

Will you keep them (and yourself) waiting?


Don’t just work well. Live well and love big.
@TrueheartSpeaks

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Your assignment:

If you didn’t do what I asked you to do from a few weeks ago, I want you to stop thinking about those things you’ve wanted to do but kept putting off and DO THEM! Start making time for the things that matter most to you. Stop waiting until ‘tomorrow.’ Take action today. I am not sure what you are waiting on but you have everything you need right now at this very moment to take your next best step. DO IT!
Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet meshare a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you need strategies to help you get out of your own way and take action, schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to chat about what’s holding you back, what you are waiting on and why you haven’t gotten started. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of May, we will be talking about MINDSET.

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Change: Are you running from it?

Happy Sunday!

Now sure where in the world you might be, I am praying this message is find you nice and warm.  Here up north it is starting to get chillllly.  Yes C.O.L.D.  We got some snow last week and this is just the beginning.  I don’t even want to think about it.  The way out winters work up here, we could have snow showing up as late as May.  Can say a quick prayer that winter ends in March when spring arrives. 🙂 I know it’s wishful thinking, but a girl can dream can’t she.

Ok so last week, I shared a video via Facebook Live on the subject of Change.  I wondered why it is so hard for us to embrace change.  There are things that we know we need to do but we run from them because it challenges us to come out of our comfort zones and it forces us to change some things about us or our surroundings.

Click the image below and check out this week’s Life Purpose Message. Then let me know what you think.

If you are already a part of the #iSpeakLife Society, you may have seen this but it doesn’t hurt to watch it again.  Ever watch a movie a second, third or fourth time and get a new perspective each time you watch it.  Yeah me too.  So click the image and check out the video (again). 🙂

Until next time…

Remember to Live Purposefully!

Hugs + Love + Prayers


P.S. If you haven’t heard, ladies, the #iSpeakLife Society has officially launched.  If you are a woman of faith looking to live purposefully and grow spiritually, then join me here: bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety.  This group will help you get out of your own way and get to the business of living! Join me and a host of fabulous ladies in the #iSpeakLife Society Facebook Group.

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Come Out Come Out … Wherever you are.

STOP

As a kid I remember playing hide and seek and other games.   If I was the one seeking I remember saying ‘Ready or not here I come’ after counting.  Once I started seeking, I would then say ‘come out come out wherever you are.’  Even though I knew they weren’t coming out, I knew they wanted to be found.  Sometimes I could hear giggles or people moving around.  If we were in the house, I could sometimes here the other kids breathing really hard.  Now as mom, when I play with my son, he hides in plain sight as if I can’t see him and of course the giggles are hilarious.  He knows I am coming, he wants me to come get him, so he puts out a few clues to get to me come find him.

Can you relate?

Do you remember playing hide and seek?

Do you remember being the one hiding or how about being the one seeking?

If you were the one hiding, I wonder if you still hide today.  Not in the sense of playing the game, but in the sense of playing hide and seek with your life and even your purpose.  As I am preparing for the October Life Purpose Coaching Call this month, the theme for this month’s call is Stop Hiding: Learn to Quit playing Hide & Seek with your Life and Purpose.  The premise behind this month’s call is that as we close out 2014 and embark on preparing for 2015, you need to come out of hiding and start living and manifesting your best life.

I meet and work with women who know they are good at something or who desire more in life but never do what it takes to pursue their dreams.

Is this you?

If so, it is time for you to come out come out wherever you are.  

At the beginning of the this year, or maybe even 365 days ago from this very day, you had goals, aspirations and desires to make this year the best year.  However you’ve been going back and forth.  You start then you stop.  You get distracted and you stray from what you are supposed to be doing.  You share you dreams and then get swayed in to thinking that it’s too much or that it won’t happen or ‘who am I to think I could… [you fill in the answer].’

I could go on and on and on and on but I won’t.  This week’s post is all about challenging you, daring you and darn right pushing you in to the forefront of your life.  No more hiding behind other people’s success. No more being happy for others when you have yet to pursue that which makes you happy.

I would love for you to join me on tonight’s Life Purpose Coaching Call, but if you can’t, here are a few questions I would like for you to ponder as you think about why you are still hiding:

  1. How long will you keep hiding?
  2. When will you take more than just one step?
  3. What are you afraid of?
  4. What is it that you know you are supposed to be doing?
  5. Why aren’t you doing it?
  6. Why haven’t you been consistent?
  7. Are you ready to be found by those seeking you?

Now remember when I mentioned at the beginning of this post that those who are hiding actually want to be find?  Well let me just say that I think it’s time for those seeking you, your gift, your purpose and your call to find you.  It’s time to come out from hiding and walk in the fullness of who you were created to be.  Enough procrastinating, hee-hawing, second-guessing, and stalling.

How long are you going to stall before your time is up?

Yep I said it…

You can’t expect people to wait around for you until you get it together.  Some may but others won’t.  You have a specific group of people who are tied and connected to you, your purpose, your goals, your gifts, your calling and your life.  When you don’t operate in full capacity you minimize the power and effect of the change and results you could produce in some one else’s life.

I think you want to be found. I think you want to connect those who need you in their life.  I think you want to be used in the fullest capacity.

But the questions… will you stop hiding?

P.S. Don’t forget to join me tonight at 6pm for the Monthly Life Purpose Coaching Call.

Call-in details: 1-218-632-0369 | 763180#

Until Next Time…

Live. Love. Lead in and on purpose

Detra

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Be Sensitive

I sent this to my e-Zine list last week and decided to share it with you.

Just simply posting my thoughts on

I am feeling pretty humble… at peace and just loving God more and more. I am sitting at my desk preparing for my class in a few minutes but I wanted to quickly share with you the most awesome experience I had this morning while getting my breakfast at Tim Hortons.

I had the opportunity to speak life, healing and hope into a women today whom I did not know. I am a huge and faithful follower of Bishop TD Jakes (world-renowned teacher, pastor, preacher, entrepreneur, etc). I normally watch his services rebroadcast during week. I watched it yesterday and thought…that was a good ole message I really want to listen to it again. Well as I fast forward the recording to his message, my spirit said no go back and listen to the worship song that they were singing. The song says… “I am healed by the word of God. I am healed by the word of God. Yes it’s already done, I’m just waiting for my change to come. But I know I’m healed by the word of God.” So I listened to it 2 or 3 times and even while I was in the Tim Hortons line.

I pay for my order and I step the side to wait for my sandwich. I notice a woman with a beautiful ring on. I give her a compliment. She says thank you but says something that doesn’t sit well with me. She says “thank you, my mom gave it to me. Something like this would never come from a man. I am not married and don’t want a husband.” Well as we began to talk she was dealing with some health issues, has been surrounded by negativity and turmoil (which is where her negative language was coming from).

But as I began speaking in to her life that song rang loud in my spirit. I knew at that point that I was on assignment. God had me listening to that song to prepare me to minister to and speak words of life and encouragement into Cee Cee (that was her name). With tears in her eyes after I finished praying with her… she said that she knew our meeting was not by happen stance. She confirmed that the words I spoke over her were things that she has been dealing with.

I don’t share this with you to boast but to share that if you open yourself up God can you use to be a blessing to someone who is waiting for you to share your gifts, talents, and call. Don’t be ashamed or fearful. God is ready use you if you are ready to be used. The question is will you be sensitive enough to the movement of God’s spirit to nudge you.

The crazy part about this story is that I was initially going to go somewhere different for my breakfast. But I was lead to go to that particular Tim Hortons.

Be open.

Be ready.

Be sensitive to the move of God.

Let Him blow your mindlike He did for me this morning.

On another other… click here to listen to the song… listen to it, meditate on it, let it get deep into your spirit and know that whatever you may be dealing with, God is able to heal you.

YES… you are healed by the word of God.

It is already done.

Just wait for your change to come.

Manifestation is coming.

Will you be ready?

P.S. Don’t forget to Join me on Tuesday at 6pm for the Monthly Life Purpose Coaching Call. Get call in details at www.trueheartspeaks.com

I Love you.

I am praying with and for you.

Live. Love. Lead in and on purpose

Hugs…
Detra

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Learn from FAILURE Don’t Run from It.

I was thinking of what to post this week and I happened to com across a coaching assignment that went out today for my Go Hard or Go Home 30 Day Jumpstart E-Program and decided I wanted to share it with you.  Be sure to do the assignment and share you comments with me below or on facebook or twitter.

Enjoy…

Learn from FAILURE Don’t Run from It.


Click here if you would rather LISTEN to this week’s article.

As we close out our last full week of our 30 day journey together, I want to close this week with today’s lesson, which is Learn from Failure DON’T Run from It.  Many times we are so afraid to fail and so afraid to try anything new, that we never do anything.  We run from failure instead of running towards it.  We hide behind bushes when we think failure is lurking and maybe it is lurking.  But let me tell you this, you will learn so much more from your failures than you will ever learn from your successes.  It is in your failures that your greatness is created, defined and some times refined.  Don’t let the possibility of what could ‘never’ happen keep you from trying and making it happen.  You have to learn how to confidently look the prospect of failure in the eye and move forward anyway.


You see the question isn’t if you will have problems, but how you are going to deal with your problems. We will all have things that come into our lives to shake us and make us but NEVER to break us.  What the devil meant for bad in your life, God can most assuredly turn it around for your good.  Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that ALL things work together for the good of those who love God and are the called according to His purpose.”  ALL things are working together for your good.  Trust and know that God has your best interest at heart when he allows obstacles to come your way.  Everything you are experiencing is preparing you for where you are going.  Let God shake some things up in your life.  There may be some ingredients that have settled down at the bottom that are needed to spice up your life, your purpose and your destiny. Shake them up so you can experience the FULL essence of all of the flavors you possess.

Will you fail backward or will you lean in and fail forward?  Don’t run from it… run to it and learn everything you can.  Life is all about solving problems.  You have to change your perspective when pursuing greatness.  You have to look at yourself as a problem solver.  Don’t focus on the problem, focus on the solution.  If it didn’t or doesn’t work, how can you tweak it to make it better that next go-round?  Or do you just scrap it and move it on.  Remember that learning to move on is just as important as staying around to try to fix it.  It takes wisdom to make that decision. Lastly, don’t forget to keep God in the mix.  Some things aren’t meant for you to touch, but just to experience.  If this is one of those instances, give the problem to God and keep it moving.

As the quote above implies (I’m paraphrasing), if you try, you stand a chance of losing, but if you don’t, you’ve already lost.  Stop running from it and run to it.  The very thing you are running from could be the very thing that makes all the difference in how you achieve your goals.  No you won’t know until you get knee-deep in it, but you will never know unless you try. 

Below is a little inspiration.  I have listed a few very successful people and how they failed (some tremendously) before becoming who we know them as today.  

  • Henry Ford: While Ford is today known for his innovative assembly line and American-made cars, he wasn’t an instant success. In fact, his early businesses failed and left him broke five times before he founded the successful Ford Motor Company.
  • R.H. Macy: Most people are familiar with this large department store chain, but Macy didn’t always have it easy. Macy started seven failed business before finally hitting big with his store in New York City.
  • Akio Morita: You may not have heard of Morita but you’ve undoubtedly heard of his company, Sony. Sony’s first product was a rice cooker that unfortunately didn’t cook rice so much as burn it, selling less than 100 units. This first setback didn’t stop Morita and his partners as they pushed forward to create a multi-billion dollar company.
  • Bill Gates: Gates didn’t seem like a shoe-in for success after dropping out of Harvard and starting a failed first business with Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen called Traf-O-Data. While this early idea didn’t work, Gates’ later work did, creating the global empire that is Microsoft.
  • Walt Disney: Today Disney rakes in billions from merchandise, movies and theme parks around the world, but Walt Disney himself had a bit of a rough start. He was fired by a newspaper editor because, “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” After that, Disney started a number of businesses that didn’t last too long and ended with bankruptcy and failure. He kept plugging along, however, and eventually found a recipe for success that worked.
  • Albert Einstein: Most of us take Einstein’s name as synonymous with genius, but he didn’t always show such promise. Einstein did not speak until he was four and did not read until he was seven, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped, slow and anti-social. Eventually, he was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. It might have taken him a bit longer, but most people would agree that he caught on pretty well in the end, winning the Nobel Prize and changing the face of modern physics.
  • Thomas Edison: In his early years, teachers told Edison he was “too stupid to learn anything.” Work was no better, as he was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive enough. Even as an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Of course, all those unsuccessful attempts finally resulted in the design that worked.
  • Oprah Winfrey: Most people know Oprah as one of the most iconic faces on TV as well as one of the richest and most successful women in the world. Oprah faced a hard road to get to that position, however, enduring a rough and often abusive childhood as well as numerous career setbacks including being fired from her job as a television reporter because she was “unfit for tv.”
  • Fred Astaire: In his first screen test, the testing director of MGM noted that Astaire, “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.” Astaire went on to become an incredibly successful actor, singer and dancer and kept that note in his Beverly Hills home to remind him of where he came from.
  • J. K. Rowling: Rowling may be rolling in a lot of Harry Potter dough today, but before she published the series of novels she was nearly penniless, severely depressed, divorced, trying to raise a child on her own while attending school and writing a novel. Rowling went from depending on welfare to survive to being one of the richest women in the world in a span of only five years through her hard work and determination.
  • Michael Jordan: Most people wouldn’t believe that a man often lauded as the best basketball player of all time was actually cut from his high school basketball team. Luckily, Jordan didn’t let this setback stop him from playing the game and he has stated, “I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
  • Babe Ruth: You probably know Babe Ruth because of his home run record (714 during his career), but along with all those home runs came a pretty hefty amount of strikeouts as well (1,330 in all). In fact, for decades he held the record for strikeouts. When asked about this he simply said, “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.”
  • Steven Spielberg: While today Spielberg’s name is synonymous with big budget, he was rejected from the University of Southern California School of Theater, Film and Television three times. He eventually attended school at another location, only to drop out to become a director before finishing. Thirty-five years after starting his degree, Spielberg returned to school in 2002 to finally complete his work and earn his BA.

The people I listed above aren’t any different from you or me.  The only thing that makes them different is their decision to never let no’s and rejection keep them from their dreams, goals, aspirations and purpose.  

My question is will you?

Your Daily Coaching Assignment:
Today’s Assignment is … Since failure is inevitable, if your perception of and response to failure were changed, what would you attempt to achieve?  I mean really think about.  I am sure that there are still some things you haven’t tried or won’t try because you are afraid of failing.  What if you were still afraid of failing but knew you needed to lean into it in order to achieve the success you desire?  Take some time today and think about recent setbacks you’ve experienced.  How did you respond?  Did you let it keep you down or did you get back up?  I hope you got back up 🙂  If not, then now is the time to run toward your failures, lean into them and learn from every single one of them?  Is it scary… ABSOLUTELY but it is so worth it!
I hope you enjoyed today’s lesson..

Until next time….

Choose to live in and on purpose!

Hugs…

Detra
Life Purpose Generator – Speaker | Coach | Consultant | Mentor
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Sure, please feel free to forward TrueheartWrites to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. TrueheartWrites is written and distributed by TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises.  Life Purpose Generator, Detra M. Trueheart is a Speaker and Life Coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping purpose-driven women of faith break barriers in beliefs and behaviors  so they can live IN and ON Purpose with more focus, freedom, and fulfillment.  Learn how Detra can help you create a life with more clarity, confidence and convictionhttp://www.trueheartspeaks.com
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Take the first step — TODAY!

Take the First Step TODAY

Here we are at the last and third of the three points I shared on the New Year New You 2014 Tele-Event.  Just as a recap,  the first point I shared with the women to help them live in and on purpose was to Do it Afraid.  At some point in our lives, we get to a place were we can no longer let fear get in the way of purpose and destiny.  Then I encouraged you to ‘Stop living for them and start living for YOU!’ You can not and will not be who and what God has called you to be if you continue to be what and who ‘they’ want you to be.  When you finally come to that fork in the road where you know that it’s time to walk in your uniqueness and  ‘differentness’ you need to make sure the path you take is the path designed for you by God NOT by others.

Now as we transition to the last step I gave, in order for you to do it afraid, and start living for you, you MUST take the first step TODAY!  YES… do something.

new-year-started

Most times we are waiting for the right time but that day will never come if you don’t take the first step.  I saw a sign that said ‘you can’t wait for all of the lights to turn green because they never will.’  I’m not sure who said it but it’s true.  Waiting for the perfect time to start means you will be waiting forever.  In his book, “In a pit with a lion on a snowy day,” Mark Batterson says,

‘that taking no risks is the greatest risk of all.’

He later goes on to say,

‘What sets lion chasers apart isn’t the outcome.  It’s the courage to chase God-sized dreams.  Lion chasers don’t let their fear or doubts keep them from doing what God has called them to do…. I’m absolutely convinced that our greatest regrets in life will be missed opportunities.’

You see the reason you haven’t taken the first step may not be because you are waiting for things to be perfect (or maybe it is) but that’s just the excuse that you use.  Things will never be perfect even when you get a rhythm going once you get started.  Things happen and life happens.  So expecting things to be perfect just sets you up for even more disappointment.  So let that go!  However let’s get back to what you are really covering up and deal with why you haven’t started.

Could it be that you are afraid… YES.. AFRAID…

  • afraid of failing
  • afraid of what ‘they’ might have to say about you venturing out to do something they ‘dream’ about doing but won’t attempt
  • afraid of disappointing people and yourself
  • afraid it won’t work
  • afraid it may work
  • afraid that if you quit your job and it doesn’t work, you don’t have anything to fall back on
  • afraid that the voice you hear and the tug you feel really isn’t from God

Believe me I’ve been there and once I told myself (well actually it was God) that if I didn’t try I would never know.  I took the first step. That’s right… in order to find out if it will or won’t work, you have to take the first step and you have to take it TODAY!

You will not become an expert overnight.  It takes time but it will never happen until you take the first step.  Think about it about it this way…

“The expert in anything was once a novice or a beginner.”

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The more risks and steps you take, the easier it becomes.  Moving in spite of how you feel is called faith and faith is what drives fear right out of the way.  With each step you take, each day you build your faith and minimize your fear.  The only reason fear has so much power is because it’s what you are giving the most attention.  You’ve heard me say this (or read it it previous blog posts) what you feed grows.  If you feed fear… it will continue to paralyze and assassinate your dreams, purpose, goals and aspirations.  But when you feed faith… My GOD!  That’s when things start to happen.

Just put one foot in front of the other and take it one day, one step, one minute and one second at a time.  It’s the exact way you would eat an elephant… one bit at a time.  Maybe you’ve never heard of that before but when my coaching clients are having a hard time accomplishing BIG GOD-sized dreams and goals I ask them… how do you eat an elephant?  Either I get this strange silence on the other end of the phone or I get strange looks… because at first they aren’t sure how you would tackle something so huge. But then when I share that the answer is one bite at a time… they all say… ooooohhhhhh it makes sense now.

So here’s your assignment, think about that one goal, dream or vision (just one for now because I don’t want to overwhelm you) and ask yourself what one thing can I do today.  Then I want you to write it down and then I want you to GET YOUR BUTT MOVING!  It’s just that simple, I don’t want you to overthink it.  What one thing can you do today?  Once you’ve figured it out– DO IT!  Then share it with me below in the comments section. I want to be able to help cheer you on as you push into purpose!

Don’t wait another day. Take the first step… TODAY!

Until next time….

Choose to live in and on purpose!

Hugs…

Detra
Life Purpose Generator – Speaker | Coach | Consultant | Mentor
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Sure, please feel free to forward TrueheartWrites to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. TrueheartWrites is written and distributed by TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises.Life Purpose Generator, Detra M. Trueheart is a Speaker and Life Coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping purpose-driven women of faith break barriers in beliefs and behaviors  so they can live IN and ON Purpose with more focus, freedom, and fulfillment.  Learn how Detra can help you create a life with more clarity, confidence and convictionhttp://www.trueheartspeaks.com
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Stop living for ‘them’ & START living for YOU.

StopThemStartYou

So this is the second of a three-part series on how to live in and on purpose.  In my last post, I shared with you how to Do It Afraid as one of the first steps I shared on the New Year New You 2014 Tele-event at the beginning of the year.  This post I will be sharing how to start living for you instead of them and how to be true to you.  So many people make decisions based on the response or feedback of other people.  They do something because others are doing it or they don’t do it because others are not doing it.  Others base their decisions and life’s purpose on the fear of rejection from others.

If this is you, then it’s time for you to start living for you instead of for them: let go of those people, place and things that have hindered you from living in and on purpose.  You have to get to a place where you do things not for the approval of others but because you know it is what God has instructed you to do.  Every thing God gives you won’t be popular, like-able or received by those in your circle but you have to move forward anyway.

My question for you is —

  • Are you living or just existing?  
  • Are you living for them or for you?
  • Are you being true to you?

strikingtruths_live-for-yourself1

“It is easy to live for others, everybody does. I call on you to live for yourself.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Listen, you will never be who God purposed for you to be until you let go of whom others expect you to be.  Much of my life was based on what my parents wanted me to do.  Now don’t get me wrong. I loved dancing and performing as well as competing in pageants, but there came a time when I felt as if it more for them instead of for me.  I will share more later in this post, but when we talk about living for you instead of living for them, make sure you are clear that it isn’t you who is holding you up instead of them.  Be sure you aren’t using ‘them‘ as the reason why you haven’t taken action, when in fact it’s not because of them, but because of YOU… your fear, your doubts, your insecurities.

February is Black History Month but it is also the month of love. This month as African Americans, Black Americans, Americans of African Descent, or whomever you consider yourself to be, I encourage you to take a really good look in the mirror and make sure that you are being true to who you were created to be. So many times we try to be who other people want us to be or who we ‘think’ others want us to be so we hide who we really are. In 2014, it is time to stop trying to keep up with the jones’, it is time to stop trying to impress people we don’t like or live with things we can’t afford or don’t want.  I am challenging you this year to live according to mantra: ‘to thine own self be true.’

For years I competed in pageants and did very well. Always winning a title or placing in the top 3, 5 or 10; however there was always one struggle. I never felt allowed to be who I really was. At that time (over 10 years ago), there was always a ‘pageant’ answer or a ‘pageant’ look I was supposed to adhere to (according to my mom and my pageant coach) and at times it became very frustrating internally because it conflicted with who I knew God created me to be. So after 8+ years of competing, I left that world to venture out to be, do & have what was true to me. I started living for me instead of ‘them.’ The journey hasn’t been easy but today as a life coach and professional speaker who operates in my areas of strength, I can say I am on my own ‘to thine own self be true’ journey.

What about you? Can you say the same? Are you living someone else’s dreams? Are you working a job you aren’t happy with? Are you in a relationship that doesn’t allow you to be you? Are you doing things just to keep up or just because it is the popular thing to do? Are you living more for them instead of living for you?

Well I am here to tell you to STOP IT!

It is time for you to take a good look in the mirror, get naked and unapologetic with yourself.  It is time for you to venture out on your own ‘to thine own self be true’ journey.

Not only just for Black History Month, but I implore you my beautiful black brothers and sisters to embrace your beautiful black skin, hair and features everyday.  The same goes for my beautiful non-black brothers and sisters. Never settle for less than what is due to you? Don’t get into a relationship or go out on a date for ‘Valentine’s Day‘ just because you are ‘lonely’ or don’t want to be the only one ‘without’ someone. Love you for you. Live for you. This is what being true to thine own self is all about — living in & on purpose and living for you instead of them. Doing what’s not popular but what’s good for you. Being intentional about your success (however you define it), your happiness, your health, your faith, your career, your relationships and your life.

YOUR TURN… I encourage you to take some time to journal and write down whether you have really been true to you or just living for others and their approval. Trust me the only approval you need is from the one who created you, God. Here are some questions to think about:

  • Am I really being true to myself?
  • If no, what changes do I need to make?
  • If yes, how can I continue to be true to myself and not be influenced by the varied changes in life and the world around me?
  • Am I allowing people, places and things to influence and change me?
  • If so, what people, places, & things do I need to get rid of or remove myself from to be in a place where I can start being true to me and living for me instead of them?
  • What does ‘to thine own self be true’ really mean to me?

Choose to live in and on purpose…

Hugs…

Detra
Life Purpose Generator – Speaker | Coach | Consultant | Mentor
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Do it Afraid

Do It Afraid

At the beginning of the year, I had the opportunity to share as one of four guest speakers for a Tele-Event entitled “New Year New You 2014.” My topic was about how to live in and on purpose.  As I prepared for the call, I asked God what He would have me to share with the women on the call and He gave me three points, the first of which was DO IT AFRAID.  I will share the other two in the weeks to come.

I received such awesome feedback that I figured I would share with you in more detail what I shared on the call to help you jumpstart 2014 so you can start living in and on purpose.

When we talk about doing it afraid, it means feel the fear and do it anyway.  So many times we let fear be the very thing that keeps us from the greatness that is waiting for us.  I am here to tell you to STOP IT!  It is time for you to start doing it afraid.

DO NOT let fear be the only factor that determines your decisions.  Do not let fear be the deciding factor for how you pursue purpose.  Remember that What You Feed Expands.  So my question to you is what are you feeding?  Your faith? Or your fear?

If you are feeding your fear, it will continue to expand, but if you are feeding your faith, then that is what will expand.  I believe that we have to get to a place where we intentionally minimize those things that would cause our fear to grow even if that means doing it afraid.  The more you press through fear in to faith and action, the less of an impact it has on you.

There is an infographic I’ve seen numerous times that says “the phrase ‘DO NOT BE AFRAID’ is written in the bible 365 times. That’s a daily reminder from God to live everyday being fearless.”

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If Do Not Be Afraid is listed in the bible 365 times, then that is a hint that maybe, just maybe, you need to start focusing less on your fears and more on what God instructs you to do and that is to NOT BE AFRAID.  Now let’s be realistic here, even I get afraid.  Shoot we all get afraid.  I get nervous.  I over think things.  I even sometimes try to talk myself out of doing certain things until I hear that still small voice tell me DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT… JUST DO IT. That’s when in spite of my fears, my insecurities, my doubts or whatever else I may be feeling or thinking, I do what I’ve been instructed to do.

Is it always easy to do it afraid? NO.  Will you second guess yourself, while doing it afraid?  YES. But will it be worth it? ABSOLUTELY!  Doing what you know in your heart of hearts to do isn’t always easy.  It’s takes guts, it takes passion and it takes drive.  If you spend time feeding your faith, it makes the journey just a little bit easier.  In addition to feeding your faith, you also need to get moving.  Taking massive action minimizes the level of fear you feel as you continue to keep moving.  This is why I say you have to do it afraid.  To DO is a verb, which means you need to be in action, doing something.  

The reason your fear has been so rampant in your mind and your life is because you aren’t doing anything or the things you are doing are feeding your fears instead of your faith.  Just in case you didn’t know FAITH is also a verb and it only works when you work it.  Are you willing to work your faith?  Are you willing to put your faith into action?  Are you willing to take massive action in the direction of your dreams, goals, aspirations and purpose?

I sure hope so.

Isn’t it time you starting doing it afraid?

I say YES…

So get moving!

do-it-afraid_thumb.jpg?w=325&h=374

Choose to live in and on purpose…

Hugs…

Detra
Life Purpose Generator – Speaker | Coach | Consultant | Mentor
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Want to reprint this?
Sure, please feel free to forward TrueheartWrites to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. TrueheartWrites is written and distributed by TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises.Life Purpose Generator, Detra M. Trueheart is a Speaker and Life Coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping purpose-driven women of faith break barriers in beliefs and behaviors  so they can live IN and ON Purpose with more focus, freedom, and fulfillment.  Learn how Detra can help you create a life with more clarity, confidence and convictionhttp://www.trueheartspeaks.com
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Mind Over Matter. Master Your Mind. Master Your Life.

I am finding that more and more people are struggling with negative, pessimistic, hindering thoughts that keep them from living God’s best life for themselves.  In this month’s article, I will share some of the points I mentioned during my May Motivational Coaching Call. I believe that if you are struggling with self-defeating thoughts or have more negative than positive thoughts, then this message is for you.

The first thing you must know is… EVERYTHING starts in the mind.  Where you are today is a direct result of the thoughts you have been thinking.  The very thoughts you had one, two, or three years ago have brought you to this very place.  If you want to change the direction of your life, you MUST change the direction of your thoughts.

Now if everything starts in the mind with a thought or idea, the next question is …

  • What type of thoughts do you have?
  • What do you think about in a daily basis?

Take a minute to ponder on that…. Keep in mind that on a daily basis we have some 70,000 thoughts that go in and out of our minds.  YES you heard right… 70,000!!!  With that many how are we to know which ones to pay attention and which ones to let go of… I know many days I feel the same way.

Now let me ask you this…

  • Do you think about what you think about?

Let that settle for a few seconds.

  • Do you really think about your thoughts? 

Or do you just let whatever comes into your head stay, pay rent and take residence? If you answered YES to the latter, that’s part of true problem. You don’t believe you can control and dictate your thoughts. You think that because it shows up you have to let it in and take residence.

NOT SO!!

Today start being intentional and on purpose about your thoughts.

Proverbs 4:23 in two different translations says…

  • Carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life. (CEVDCUS06)
  • More than anything you guard, protect your mind, for life flows from it. (CEB)

Where you desire to be in a year will be because of the thoughts you think today. When you make the commitment to think about what you think about, you then have to start renewing your mind daily with the kind of thoughts that propel you into purpose and destiny. Self affirming and catapulting thoughts. What do you say to yourself when no one is looking? If you don’t know then you need to start being more proactive about that. What you think is what you will say. Start saying and meditating day and night on those things that are positive; that are life generating and life affirming; that are purpose propelling and catalytic in your life. You don’t want to keep thinking thoughts that only hold you back or keep you stagnant because of stinking thinkin.

If you aren’t sure if you suffer from stinkin thinkin, here are some examples:

  • This is just the way I am
  • This is who God made me
  • If I was supposed to change I would have changed by now
  • I’m too old for this I’m too set in my ways
  • This is the way things are supposed to be
  • I’ve tried everything and nothing has worked (even though you really didn’t. You tried the first week and when it didn’t turn out the way you thought you quit.)
  • I’m tired of trying
  • What if it doesn’t work… what if I fail
  • It’s sound too good to be true and if it sounds too good to be true then it probably is.
  • That’s not me that takes too much energy
  • What will people, my husband/wife, friends think
  • You have been thinking and planning for years but have yet to get started
  • It’s never your fault, it’s always someone else
  • Maybe they are right… maybe I should have just…

Is this you??? 

If so, it’s time to change how you thinkchange what you think about, and make positive self affirming deposits within yourself (affirmations, reading, change your environment of people places and things, have rebuttals).

John Maxwell says, “If you don’t like the crop you are reaping, you need to change the seed you are sowing! You need to start sowing the seed of good thinking?

You may not think so, but IT IS possible to start changing the way you think.

In order to master your thoughts you must…

  • Identify negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts
  • Be more intentional about your thoughts
  • Actively and intentionally attain resources available to help you master your thinking and other areas in your life.

You have to start making daily deposits in yourself to really make the changes you need. If you don’t have anything to draw from you get NSF (Non-Sufficient Funds) like in a bank account.

Start investing in yourself.  Start investing in books, reading materials, seminars, conferences, a Life Coach, etc. that challenge you to go to the next level in your thinking.  Where you are is not where you are supposed to be.  You can go so much further! Surround yourself with people who build you up and who challenge you. Iron sharpens iron.  Don’t stay complacent with where you are. Always have a desire and yearning to cultivate, nurture and grow personally. Stretch yourself.

Make a firm decision that who you are now is not who you want to be and where you are is not where you desire to be next year.  Many times we say, ‘by this time next year, I will be‘ … and when next year arrives you are in the exact same place.  You never do anything to make your future dreams and goals manifest.  In order to change your thinking, you must identify what has contributed to your current way of thinking.  If any of those ‘stinkin thinkin’ examples I gave you sound familiar, it is time for a change.

Let me ask you a few questions…

  • Was there something that happened when you were a child that caused you to lock yourself in a box and swear to never come out?
  • Who changed your self esteem and intimidated you into thinking that the greatness that resides inside of you doesn’t exist?
  • What other people, places and things have you encountered in your life that caused you to give up so quickly without every trying?
  • Were you abused, bullied, sheltered, made to feel less than, talked down to or even exposed to people who had drive no passion or zeal.

Do you even know what it is to just take a risk and go for it and try the impossible?

Joyce Meyers states in her book, “Battlefield of the Mind,” “Our past may explain why we’re suffering, but we must not use it as an excuse to stay in bondage.”  

If you are asking if there is a way to get past this… YES, there is a way out if you so desire it!  Most of our outward behavior is only a result of our inner life. If that inner critic can control your thoughts, he can control your actions… and from the looks of your actions, he may still be controlling your thoughts.

BUT NOT AFTER TODAY!

Whatever it may be, it’s time to put mind over matter and begin the journey to mastering your thoughts, so you can master your life.

Because if … 

…you are what you think … what are you?

and

…if  we become what we think… what will become of you?

Yes… think about that…based on your thoughts what are you and what will become of you?

To become more of what you think instead of what just pops into your mind you have to start thinking about what you think about.  You must be more intentional about your thinking.  You have to start thinking IN purpose and ON purpose.

Here are some ways to think purposefully from Rick Warren, Pastor and Author of the Purpose-Driven Life:

  • Satan can’t get your attention when your mind is preoccupied with something else. That’s why the Bible teaches us to fix our thoughts on Jesus (Hebrews 3:1) and to fill our minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are “true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable.” (Philippians 4:8 TEV)
  • When we’re serious about defeating temptation, we will manage our thoughts and monitor our media intake. Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived warned: “Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.” (Proverbs 4:23 TEV)
  • Don’t allow thoughts to run indiscriminately in your mind. Be selective. Choose carefully what you think about. Follow Paul’s model: “We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5 NCV)

If you aren’t an avid reader, here a few books I’ve read and am reading that deal with the mind to help get you off to a good start:

  • Rich Dad Poor Dad – Robert Kiyosaki
  • Think and Grow Rich – Napoleon Hill
  • Thinking for A Change – John Maxwell
  • Battlefield of the Mind – Joyce Meyer
  • Secrets of the Millionaire Mind – T. Harv Eker
  • As a Man Thinketh- James Allen
  • The Holy Bible

Lastly, here is a quote that I closed the call out with:

“Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life. If you continue to believe as you have always believed, you will continue to act as you have always acted. If you continue to act as you have always acted, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. If you want different results in your life or your work, all you have to do is change your mind.”  ~Unknown

I hope you enjoyed the plethora of content I shared with you from our May Motivational Coaching Call.  There are so many people missing out on their best life because they don’t believe they can have it.  Remember it starts in the MIND.  My prayer is that you will start to master your mind so you can master you life.  Now, if you know this isn’t something you can so on your own, head over to my website and check out how we can work together.  I’d love to be the catalyst you need to start living life in and on purpose.

—  make sure you c’mon over to my facebook page.  I’d love to hear your take on this one!  ==>“See you” on facebook!

Also, don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comments section. I would love to hear from you. There may be someone who just might be blessed by what you share!

Here’s to you living life IN & On Purpose…

Detra

Detra M. Trueheart,

Your Life Empowerment Coach

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The call is entitled, Stuck On Stupid: Get Unstuck and Get Out of Your Own Way.

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Want to reprint this?

Sure, please feel free to forward TrueheartWrites to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. TrueheartWrites is written and distributed by TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises.

Detra M. Trueheart is a Speaker and Life Coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping women break the mold, challenge the status quo and live life IN purpose ON purpose. Learn how Detra can help you create a life beyond the limitations and expectations that hinder you from living life IN & ON purpose: http://www.trueheartspeaks.com.

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Fearless Friday – Motivational Minute 363

It’s Fearless Friday!

Today’s Motivational Minute is…

Lose so you can Win!  

I know you are probably saying WHAT?  Well I was watching American Idol yesterday and Fantasia sang a song on the show that said ‘Sometimes you have to lose so you can win again.’  Those words immediately spoke to me.  I don’t know about you but I have had a few loses in my life that have lead to BIG wins.  However when they first occurred, I wasn’t so sure.  Maybe you are going through some thing or maybe things aren’t turning out quite the way you thought.  Well I am here to tell you that sometimes you have to lose to win.  Don’t let fear of the unknown keep you locked in a box that you were never supposed to be in.

Be Fearless | Break the mold | LET GO of yesterday | EMBRACE today | So you can WIN tomorrow.

YOUR TURN… on this Fearless Friday, take a moment to let me know what you know you need to ‘lose’ in order to WIN.  What and/or who do you know in your heart of hearts you need to walk away from.

Share your thoughts below in the comments section. I would love to hear from you. There may be someone who just might be blessed by what you share!

Here’s to you living life IN & On Purpose…

Detra

Detra M. Trueheart,

Your Personal Life and Empowerment Coach

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Want to reprint this?

Sure, please feel free to forward TrueheartWrites to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. TrueheartWrites is written and distributed by TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises.

Detra M. Trueheart is a Speaker and Life Coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping women, girls, and leaders break the mold, challenge the status quo and live life IN purpose ON purpose. Learn how Detra can help you create a life beyond the limitations and expectations that hinder you from living life IN & ON purpose: http://www.trueheartspeaks.com.

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