Tag Archives: Black History Month

Stop living for ‘them’ & START living for YOU.


So this is the second of a three-part series on how to live in and on purpose.  In my last post, I shared with you how to Do It Afraid as one of the first steps I shared on the New Year New You 2014 Tele-event at the beginning of the year.  This post I will be sharing how to start living for you instead of them and how to be true to you.  So many people make decisions based on the response or feedback of other people.  They do something because others are doing it or they don’t do it because others are not doing it.  Others base their decisions and life’s purpose on the fear of rejection from others.

If this is you, then it’s time for you to start living for you instead of for them: let go of those people, place and things that have hindered you from living in and on purpose.  You have to get to a place where you do things not for the approval of others but because you know it is what God has instructed you to do.  Every thing God gives you won’t be popular, like-able or received by those in your circle but you have to move forward anyway.

My question for you is —

  • Are you living or just existing?  
  • Are you living for them or for you?
  • Are you being true to you?


“It is easy to live for others, everybody does. I call on you to live for yourself.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Listen, you will never be who God purposed for you to be until you let go of whom others expect you to be.  Much of my life was based on what my parents wanted me to do.  Now don’t get me wrong. I loved dancing and performing as well as competing in pageants, but there came a time when I felt as if it more for them instead of for me.  I will share more later in this post, but when we talk about living for you instead of living for them, make sure you are clear that it isn’t you who is holding you up instead of them.  Be sure you aren’t using ‘them‘ as the reason why you haven’t taken action, when in fact it’s not because of them, but because of YOU… your fear, your doubts, your insecurities.

February is Black History Month but it is also the month of love. This month as African Americans, Black Americans, Americans of African Descent, or whomever you consider yourself to be, I encourage you to take a really good look in the mirror and make sure that you are being true to who you were created to be. So many times we try to be who other people want us to be or who we ‘think’ others want us to be so we hide who we really are. In 2014, it is time to stop trying to keep up with the jones’, it is time to stop trying to impress people we don’t like or live with things we can’t afford or don’t want.  I am challenging you this year to live according to mantra: ‘to thine own self be true.’

For years I competed in pageants and did very well. Always winning a title or placing in the top 3, 5 or 10; however there was always one struggle. I never felt allowed to be who I really was. At that time (over 10 years ago), there was always a ‘pageant’ answer or a ‘pageant’ look I was supposed to adhere to (according to my mom and my pageant coach) and at times it became very frustrating internally because it conflicted with who I knew God created me to be. So after 8+ years of competing, I left that world to venture out to be, do & have what was true to me. I started living for me instead of ‘them.’ The journey hasn’t been easy but today as a life coach and professional speaker who operates in my areas of strength, I can say I am on my own ‘to thine own self be true’ journey.

What about you? Can you say the same? Are you living someone else’s dreams? Are you working a job you aren’t happy with? Are you in a relationship that doesn’t allow you to be you? Are you doing things just to keep up or just because it is the popular thing to do? Are you living more for them instead of living for you?

Well I am here to tell you to STOP IT!

It is time for you to take a good look in the mirror, get naked and unapologetic with yourself.  It is time for you to venture out on your own ‘to thine own self be true’ journey.

Not only just for Black History Month, but I implore you my beautiful black brothers and sisters to embrace your beautiful black skin, hair and features everyday.  The same goes for my beautiful non-black brothers and sisters. Never settle for less than what is due to you? Don’t get into a relationship or go out on a date for ‘Valentine’s Day‘ just because you are ‘lonely’ or don’t want to be the only one ‘without’ someone. Love you for you. Live for you. This is what being true to thine own self is all about — living in & on purpose and living for you instead of them. Doing what’s not popular but what’s good for you. Being intentional about your success (however you define it), your happiness, your health, your faith, your career, your relationships and your life.

YOUR TURN… I encourage you to take some time to journal and write down whether you have really been true to you or just living for others and their approval. Trust me the only approval you need is from the one who created you, God. Here are some questions to think about:

  • Am I really being true to myself?
  • If no, what changes do I need to make?
  • If yes, how can I continue to be true to myself and not be influenced by the varied changes in life and the world around me?
  • Am I allowing people, places and things to influence and change me?
  • If so, what people, places, & things do I need to get rid of or remove myself from to be in a place where I can start being true to me and living for me instead of them?
  • What does ‘to thine own self be true’ really mean to me?

Choose to live in and on purpose…


Life Purpose Generator – Speaker | Coach | Consultant | Mentor


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