Tag Archives: Live Life in and on Purpose

40 … and counting…

40 and counting

Ok so I just celebrated my 40th birthday on August 12th and now that I’m 40, here are a few things that I’ve learned about life and myself…

  1. Friends change. People change. I change. God doesn’t.
  2. People love you the best they know how
  3. I’m still evolving. I haven’t arrived just yet. ūüôā
  4. I’m still learning who I am and who I’m becoming.¬†I am loving who I am becoming.
  5. People suck sometimes. They don’t turn out to be who you thought
  6. Life sucks sometimes. It doesn’t turn¬†out to be what you thought
  7. There’s nothing wrong with rest or naps. (if you know anything about me, you know I love naps)
  8. Asking for or receiving help doesn’t make any less of a person/woman
  9. I’m stronger than I give myself credit for
  10. I’m good (really good) at what I do and it’s ok to toot my own horn and know my worth.
  11. I’ve done good work in this world.
  12. I still have more work to do.
  13. God is faithful and His grace is sufficient.
  14. You get what you allow.
  15. Boundaries are everything.
  16. Quiet time is everything.
  17. I’m honored and blessed to be a wife and a mom. Some people may never experience that.
  18. People pleasing and seeking the approval of others is NO-NO.
  19. I no longer care what you think.
  20. What God thinks is more important.
  21. What you do isn’t who you are.
  22. Learn to learn who you are more than what you do.  I am learning this everyday.
  23. Sometimes the people closest to you won’t get it. Love them anyway. Find people who do get it.
  24. We all make mistakes. Some small. Some really, REALLY BIG!
  25. Grant people the same grace you’d want if you’re BIG mistakes were out on front street.
  26. I now know that I can forgive for me, but not tolerate you.
  27. Forgiveness doesn’t mean I have to allow you back into my space.
  28. I’m not perfect (just in case you didn’t know) and I don’t have to be.
  29. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had.
  30. Saying no is a complete sentence.  No explanation is needed.
  31. I mean what I say.
  32. Trust the process even when it sucks.
  33. I absolutely adore my husband. ¬†He gets me.¬†He listens and hears even when I think he doesn’t.
  34. I don’t always like my husband, but he gets me.
  35. He doesn’t always like me, but I get him.
  36. Take yourself serious, but don’t take yourself so serious.
  37. When God is in it, it always works out of your good.
  38. I don’t have to do it because you want me to. I do have a choice!
  39. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about what life would look like at 40. ¬†But I’m already thinking about what I want it to look like at 50. ūüėČ
  40. People mean well, but many of them are more talk than walk.

 

BONUSES Life Lessons (I couldn’t stop at 40):

  1. I prefer quiet time. Tea. Snuggles on the couch rather than being around a lot of people.
  2. I think I am what they call and Ambivert. I’m both introvert and extrovert. ¬†I like people but I need to be alone. I’m a beast when I have to be (on stage, teaching, preaching, etc.) but then I need quiet time to recharge.
  3. I’ve learned to get out of my own way. I can be my own¬†worst enemy sometimes.
  4. Stop overthinking everything.
  5. Progression not perfection. It will never be perfect. Done beats perfect everyday.
  6. I’ve wasted lots of time thinking about getting ready to get ready.
  7. Sometimes you just have to do and figure it out as you go.
  8. Marriage only works if you work it.
  9. Parenting only works if you work it and sometimes it doesn’t when you are raising a four-year old.
  10. Balance doesn’t exist. ¬†It’s whatever you make it to be.
  11. Being a Mom, Wife, Adjunct Instructor, Entrepreneur, Ministry Leader (and any other role I have) is hard some days.  Some days I want to hide up under a rock.
  12. Never assume people know what you need. Tell them. Thats why it’s called communication. Still learning this… Honey should know exactly what I’m thinking all ALL TIMES… right? ūüėČ nope… lol

 

Ok.. ok… ok… I’m done. ūüôā

I could most assuredly go on but I won’t.

So many life lessons learned that we could be here all day.  I hope you enjoy what I shared.  Let me know in the comments section or tweet me which lesson you connected with the most. You should know that on the eve of my 10th wedding anniversary (8.19.16), so some of these could go into a married life Рlife lessons post, but overall they are still life lessons.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment here on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

Register for my #LifeScope Master Class: Crush Procrastination – Get Started & Stop Stuntin’ ¬†Wednesday, August 31,2 016 – 8:30PM EST. Investment: $37.00. Register at http://www.trueheartspeaks.com/events.

Conflict schedule? Replay will be emailed to all who register.

LifeScopeMC Procrastination_fbevent (2).png

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a 45-minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living but need to support of your sister-friends?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday ‚Äď Thursday¬†at 7:15am EST¬†for the¬†Morning #LifeScope on periscope or¬†Facebook. Each morning¬†I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day. ¬†For the month of August, we are chatting all about Procrastination.

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Move in spite of how you feel

Move in spite of how you feel

I had a friend call me one day and she was feeling some kinda way. She was working in a project and she just couldn’t get past how she was feeling. She was feeling blah, out of it, not motivated and just in a funk.

Have you ever felt that way…

I know I have…

Ever have a big project or task to tackle but you just did not ‘feel’ like it? Well me too. There have been tons of days where I didn’t feel like it but I did it anyway.

This conversation I was having with my friend is similar to many conversations I have had with clients on moving past how you feel so you can get to where you desire to be.

When you have a goal in front of you, you can let feelings get the best of you. And as women, we tend to rest in our feelings when making decisions.

STOP IT!

Now I’m not telling you to ignore your gut feelings or your intuition but I am saying that those feelings of ‘doubt, insecurity, I’m not enough, I don’t feel it, etc‘. — suck it up and get moving. Same thing I had to say to my girlfriend. Heck it’s the same thing I have to say to myself sometimes. ¬†Depending on where you are in this journey, you don’t have time to be whining about how you feel.

Some days it’s do or don’t.

Either you make it happen or it doesn’t happen.

Sometimes you have to make the sacrifice now and sow the seeds now so you can reap a harvest later. Many of us want a good life, good health, good wealth, a good marriage or a great job, career or business but we don’t want to put the work in.

As a believer of Christ, the bible is clear that we walk by faith and not by sight. Walking by what you see is essentially walking by what you feel. This race we are called to run was never promised to be easy. Trust that whatever God has ordained and put you here to do, you have the strength, power and ability to do in Him.

Moving in spite of how you feel (& what you see) is all about trusting a power that is greater than you. When it gets hard, holdfast to the vision, dream, goal or aspiration. If you don’t have any, then that may be why you are tossed ‘to and fro.’ You have nothing to stand on. When your feelings are trying to overtake you, you have to also remember all of the ‘other’ stuff you’ve come through. ¬†You also have to remember WHY you are doing what you are doing.

As you go higher, your faith will be tested and you have to make the decision that you will move in spite of how you feel. You move in what you know. You move not in what you see with your sight but in what you see with your vision.

  • Feeling like giving up…
  • Feeling like you can’t go any further…
  • Feeling like this situation is about to over take you…

Well keep going… Put one step in front of the other and don’t let how you feel abort what’s ahead of you.

Until next time…

P.S. Are you need of an extra push in this particular area of your life. Are you feeling stuck, stalled or stagnant? Book your 90-Minute Push Me Strategy Session so we can get you take immediate action and instead of staying stuck in your feelings. Click here bit.ly/pushmedetra to secure your spot.

P.S.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.

P.S.S. My #iSpeakLife Empowerment Experience for Women is back!  The Fall Edition is happening Friday, September, 25 in Buffalo, NY.  Register and get more information at www.iSpeakLifeLive.com.

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Use it or Lose it

use it or lose it

As I’m getting older I’m learning that knowledge means nothing without application. In this day and age, knowledge comes a dime a dozen. There are so many places to gain new insight that there is really no way for someone to say ‘I didn’t know.’

With the Internet alone, you just about find information on any topic. The key however is what you do with that information once you acquire it.

The only way to master what you know is to use it.

There is a saying that says the key the getting ahead is getting started. I agree but once you get started you have to apply what you’ve learned. Information is one thing but when you add application and implementation, you’ve added a whole different dimension.

Let me share with you an example, my son knows his letters and some of numbers up to 20. However he now has to learn how to apply and implement what he has learned. After he masters learning them he has to use his letters to make words to write, to spell and read words. After learning his numbers he has to use them to add, subtract, multiply and divide.

What knowledge do you have that you need to master?

What information do you have in your arsenal that you have yet to sit down long enough to really master?

Once you’ve mastered it on that level how can you use it. We are so information hungry that we’ve become application and implementation lazy. We want all of this information but we don’t take the time to really apply what we’ve learned.

I know I’ve been guilty. Signing up for programs, reading books and or watching videos with great information but I have yet to use it. What about you? What do you now have yet to use or apply or implement?

Heck this can apply to your life… What lessons have you learned but have yet to apply in your life?

Remember we repeat tests we never learn from.

Your turn…

  • Take some to really think about what you know and ask yourself what have you learned?
  • Then ask yourself if you are actually applying what you’ve learned. No sense is trying to learn something new if what you already have isn’t being put to use, right!?!?!

Until next time…

P.S. Are you need of an extra push in a particular area of your life. Are you feeling stuck, stalled or stagnant? Book your 90 minute Push Me Strategy Session so we can get you unstuck so you get started on what’s most important. Click here bit.ly/pushmedetra

P.P.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.

P.P.P.S. Don’t forget to join my TrueheartSpeaks VIP List to get life purpose tips, tools & strategies to help you live in and on purpose. Click here to join!

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Do you really know what you need?

Do you really know what you need-

Ok so I wrote this almost a year ago and it’s been sitting in my blog drafts since last year. As I’ve been taking some time to start writing more and quieting myself, I happened to find this as I was scheduling my blogs for the next few weeks to get back on track.

As I was reading this I felt the need to share it since I think it still applies to today even though it was written last August while hubby and I were in vacay.

So here goes…. enjoy ūüôā


Hubby and I are away on vacay for a few days and it wasn’t until I got to our destination that I realized that I needed it a lot more than I thought.  This is the first trip that hubby and I have taken alone since our son was born in 2011.

YESSSS… our WE time had been limited to Friday night dates, nap times and pure luck if Dallas went to bed early. As first time parents and absolutely in love love love with our baby boy, we tend to spend more time with him, and we enjoy it.

But as we spent time together on this trip we realized how much R&R we needed not only as man and woman but also husband and wife.  Some nights we are so exhausted that on the Friday night date night, we are happy just to lay in bed with no interruption.  There is no conversation, no cuddling, just pure REST and SLEEP.  Now don’t get me wrong we need that too but we had been working so hard at providing a good life experience for our son that we neglected ourselves and each other.

Now you may be wondering how this applies to you…

Although you may know what you need, you may not actually know what you need until you are in it.  Some things may not become clear to you until you take the time to take the first step, make the first move, launch out into the deep and just do it.

YES… just do it!

You will not always know where it will come from and it may come when you least expect it. I knew I needed a vacay and I knew that hubby and I needed to be more intentional with having WE time, but it wasn’t until actually being on vacation away from work, our son, our house and anything else that sometimes distracts us from taking time out to do what really matters, that we realized what we needed.  It was awesome and we are looking forward to doing this more often.

Your turn…

  • I challenge you to take some time to do what feeds your mind, your body, your soul, your marriage and any other area that needs recharging.
  • Be intentional in doing what matters most.
  • Be open to realizing that some things you will only come to know once you launch out in to the deep.

Be open to receive what you need not knowing where exactly it will come from…

Until next time…

P.S. Are you need of an extra push in a particular area of your life. Are you feeling stuck, stalled or stagnant?  Book your 90 minute Push Me Strategy Session so we can get you unstuck and get started on what’s most important. Click here bit.ly/pushmedetra

P.S.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.

P.S.S. Like this week’s life purpose message… leave a comment below.

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Don’t believe me, Just watch

don't believe me, Just watch‪

#‚ÄéTrueheartSpeaksChronicles‚Ĩ:¬†Don’t be one of those people who have something to say about what everyone else is doing, but YOU aren’t doing anything but running your mouth. While you are talking. WE are doing. At least we are trying and putting forth some type of effort, while you judge, criticize and critique.

Stop it!

You aren’t a even benchwarmer, you don’t even sit on the sidelines. You speak from the bleachers. You aren’t even on the team yet. Why, because you do more talking that doing. Why because it’s more comfortable to sit and talk about what others are doing and how it probably won’t work, rather than stretch and be more than a mere exister (yeah I made that word up). But yet you have yet to even try.

Stop it! — Close your mouth and DO something.

Stop being the crab in the barrel. Stop being negative Nancy.

Stop it!

Even the benchwarmer is on the team. He may not get any play but he shows up for practice ready and awaiting his turn. What about you? Can we say the same about you. NOPE… If you aren’t going to get in the game the least you could do is cheer us on… encourage us or just be quiet and stay out of the way. It’s just that simple. Please don’t sit around waiting for our demise because you will be more than disappointed. Like, the donkey who’s master tried to bury him, we will rise and step over every ounce of dirt/shade you throw our way.

For those of you getting discouraged by the constant negative talk from those around you , find new people to share your dreams with or just don’t share them at all until God introduces you to a new row. Be intentional about surrounding yourself with people who challenge you to rise up and be better. Remember iron sharpens irons. Get round iron sharpeners. Stay away from plastic and glass… they bend, cut and break too easily.

Trust that what God has for you is for YOU. Also use wisdom, everyone who loves you won’t get it you. Leave them in their proper category. Let them love you but never trust them with your dreams if they’ve shown they can’t help you carry, give birth and grow your dreams. I’ve had to learn the hard way a few times, but after those few times, I learned my lesson. Pay attention to the patterns of people and guard your vision.

As Maya Angelou said, when people show you who they are, believe them. As you launch out and pursue living a life in and on purpose, be intentional in your pursuit…

and operate by these two phrases…

“I can show you better than I can tell you.”

“Don’t believe me, just watch!”

Show them… stop telling them!

‪#‎TrueheartSpeaks‬ ‪#‎justsayin‬ ‪#‎iSpeaksLife‬

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Schedule It In

Hey Loves…

This week’s Life Purpose¬†Message is a called “Schedule It In.”¬†¬† It’s a Video message, so click the picture below to view.

After watching this¬†week’s video… here’s your assignment:

  1. Figure out what you’ve been having a hard time fitting into your oh-so-busy schedule.
  2. Check your calendar and figure out where you can fit in 30 minutes to make it happen.
  3. Schedule it into your calendar (paper or online). ¬†Remember if it doesn’t get documented, it won’t get done.
  4. Then start TODAY! ¬†Don’t wait until tomorrow. Schedule it in and get moving.

Once you’ve completed your assignment, share your thoughts with me on the¬†TrueheartSpeaks Facebook Page. ¬†I want to know what you’ve completed it and have started moving.

Until next time… to thine own self be TRUE, for out of the abundance of theHEART, the mouth SPEAKS.

Continue to Live Life IN & ON Purpose.

 

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What Are You Going To Do About It?

What If...talking

this is the question God posed to me a few weeks ago when I was complaining

(yes even I have those moments)…

Yes God posed this question when I was complaining about a few things that just didn’t seem to be going the way I wanted them to. Have you ever been there¬†*|FNAME|*? ¬†You know where you have these high expectations about something and it just doesn’t go exactly as planned. ¬†Well this was me a few weeks ago.

I was actually walking around the house talking out loud. ¬†You know, not really talking to God but talking so He could hear me. ūüôā ¬†Well right in the midst of my complaining, He said you’ve been saying this for some time now. ¬†What are you going to do about it?

Huh? Did I hear what I thought I heard.

Yep… I sure did.

You see I had gotten so used to everything falling into place that when it seemed to be taking longer than I wanted or didn’t go as planned, I was frustrated. The problem was, I wasn’t really doing anything about it except run my mouth. ¬†Can you relate? You want things to change but you aren’t really doing anything about it to change the situation. The voice I heard was very clear. If you want something different, what are you going to do about it to bring about a different result?

So of course as you know, when I learn, I teach… or coach… so I want to post the same question to you…¬†WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

Whether it is your job, your marriage, your weight, your friends, your aspirations, your money, WHATEVER IT IS…. how long will you keep talking about it before you actually do something about it?

No, maybe it didn’t’ work out the way you wanted but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. ¬†It just means you have to go back to the drawing board and figure out a different way to approach your problem or situation. ¬†Sometimes you need to be challenged to come out of your comfort zone. ¬†You need to be pushed out of average and mediocre into exceptional, fabulous and phenomenal. ¬†I believe you have everything in you to be who God created you to be, but sometimes situations and circumstances cause our creativity to lie dormant. ¬†Not anymore. ¬†You have to take personal responsibility for this next move you are getting ready to take. ¬†Enough talking about how it didn’t work or how it wasn’t what you thought. ¬†Sometimes, God is waiting for the right time to blow your mind with His awesomeness. ¬†He just needs you to close your mouth and get moving. ¬†He won’t move until you do.

Your assignment:
Do something about it! Take some time to really identify what you are struggling with.  What have you been complaining, murmuring, or just talking about for way too long?  Now Think about one thing you can DO instead of running your mouth, then do it.  Close your lips and get moving.  Put together a plan of action. Map out your strategy and then get moving.

Want to take it step further, book a 90 Minute Heart-Storming Session, so we can you doing instead of talking.

Not sure if my 90 Minute Heart-Storming Session is right for you? Then schedule a 30 Minute Get Acquainted Session with me.  This gives me the chance to get to know you, learn more about what challenges you and see if I am able to help.

Until next time…
Live.Love.Lead In & On Purpose
Detra

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Repetition + Consistency = Success

repetition-3

The question¬†is what exactly are you doing over and¬†over again…

Over these last few months I have been watching my son learn and grow day by day as a result of attending pre-school. ¬†He is learning songs, letters, numbers, colors and tons of other things. ¬†For some reason over the weekend, it dawned on me that repetition plus consistency equals success. ¬†There is a quote by Aristotle that says “we are what we repeatedly do,¬†excellence¬†then is not an act, but a habit.

What if I changed this statement around and said that¬†we are what we repeatedly do, ‘mediocrity, settling, being average,’ then is not an act, but a habit.¬†¬†How does that change your perspective in how you view what you do on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis?

Is what you are repeatedly doing bringing you closer to the life and purpose you desire?

My son comes home singing songs that he has learned and listened to repeatedly on a daily basis.  He is learning his letters and colors.  Why?  Because everyday, they review colors and a letter of the week.  This week is H or I.  When we are out, he is recognizing colors and certain letters in words.

Why because repetition + consistency = success.

<< Test First Name >>, just think about how you first learned the ABC song…¬†by repetition and consistency,¬†right?. ¬†If it worked¬†then... don’t you think it would work¬†now.

My coaching question for you is …

What are you repeatedly doing that is leading to the success you desire?
Or
Is what you are repeatedly doing leading to a life of mediocrity and average living?

Just yesterday, a General in the Faith was killed in a plane crash. ¬†Although he wasn’t someone I studied from and I didn’t know much about him, I have numerous friends who loved Dr. Munroe’s teachings. ¬†He was known for teaching about purpose and living intentionally. ¬†His life is an example that you can be here today and gone tomorrow. ¬†He was on a private plane headed to host his annual Global Leadership Forum, set to take place today.

From what I did know about Dr. Munroe, he lived an intentional and full life.  He was intentional about living in and on purpose and teaching others how to do the same.  He was clear about why he was hear and he did things on a daily basis to achieve the success he desired.

Can you say the same? 

Can you say that the things you repeatedly and consistently do lead to the life, love and work you desire?

If the answer is yes, then keep on keeping on. But if deep down inside you know that what you are doing isn’t giving you the results you desire, then it’s time to make a change. Only you have the power to change what isn’t working in your life. ¬†No need to keep doing something over and over again and expecting different results. ¬†That is what we call insanity, right? ¬†If you want different, do different.

Your assignment: 
Identify what you do repeatedly and consistently and then figure out if it’s working for you or not. ¬†If so, continue on… If not, it’s time for a change.

If you want to take it step further, book a 90 Minute Heart-Storming Session, so we can get you repeatedly doing what breeds success instead of mediocrity.

Until next time…
Live.Love.Lead In & On Purpose
Detra

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Are you ready for the reveal?

Ok so …¬†you may nor may not know but tomorrow I will be hosting a FREE Training on how to Manifest More in our life and purpose. ¬†It’s tomorrow, Wednesday, October 22 at 7pm EST.

If you knew about…¬†You are registered for it, right? ¬†

NO! ¬†—¬†Well let me tell you why you need to register.

Because it is going to be goooooddd!!

lolol… Just kidding but no really it is going to be good.

As I was preparing, I looked up the word manifest and among the many meanings and definitions, these words popped out at me:

To declare
To make known
To reveal
To show

Now let me ask you this question:

Are you ready to declare more, make known more, reveal more and show more of who God created you to be?

I sure hope your answer is YES!

You see we are in a time and place where playing games and hiding behind facades is out and being authentic, real and unapologetic are in. ¬†Too many people, maybe you included, have sat on the sidelines of their own lives and just let life pass them by. ¬†Maybe, you’ve let fear tell you what wasn’t possible and or you let fear drive when it should have been faith in the driver’s seat. ¬†Maybe something happened in your life where your confidence and self-esteem has been shaken and you know it’s time to declare, make known, reveal and show more of your gifts, talents, call and purpose but you just aren’t sure how.

Well my dear trueheart, I am going to show you how on my FREE call on Wednesday.  If you have yet to register, do it now at bit.ly/manifestmorenow.   I want to show you how to manifest more in your life and your purpose.  I want to give you some foundational tools and tips to jumpstart you to manifesting what you desire as opposed to what others desire for you.

In addition to my FREE call, you get my 3-part free video series on the three steps you need to take before you start your journey to manifesting more.

I hope to ‘see’ you on the call on Wednesday. ¬†Don’t wait to register because if you are anything like me, you might forget.
Do it now!¬†–>¬†bit.ly/manifestmorenow

Join the #ManifestMore Movement and hop on Facebook or Twitter and let me know you will be joining me.

Live.Love.Lead & Manifest MORE!
Hugs…
Detra

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