40 … and counting…

Ok so I just celebrated my 40th birthday on August 12th and now that I’m 40, here are a few things that I’ve learned about life and myself…

1. Friends change. People change. I change. God doesn’t.
2. People love you the best they know how
3. I’m still evolving. I haven’t arrived just yet. 🙂
4. I’m still learning who I am and who I’m becoming. I am loving who I am becoming.
5. People suck sometimes. They don’t turn out to be who you thought
6. Life sucks sometimes. It doesn’t turn out to be what you thought
7. There’s nothing wrong with rest or naps. (if you know anything about me, you know I love naps)
8. Asking for or receiving help doesn’t make any less of a person/woman
9. I’m stronger than I give myself credit for
10. I’m good (really good) at what I do and it’s ok to toot my own horn and know my worth.
11. I’ve done good work in this world.
12. I still have more work to do.
13. God is faithful and His grace is sufficient.
14. You get what you allow.
15. Boundaries are everything.
16. Quiet time is everything.
17. I’m honored and blessed to be a wife and a mom. Some people may never experience that.
18. People pleasing and seeking the approval of others is NO-NO.
19. I no longer care what you think.
20. What God thinks is more important.
21. What you do isn’t who you are.
22. Learn to learn who you are more than what you do.  I am learning this everyday.
23. Sometimes the people closest to you won’t get it. Love them anyway. Find people who do get it.
24. We all make mistakes. Some small. Some really, REALLY BIG!
25. Grant people the same grace you’d want if you’re BIG mistakes were out on front street.
26. I now know that I can forgive for me, but not tolerate you.
27. Forgiveness doesn’t mean I have to allow you back into my space.
28. I’m not perfect (just in case you didn’t know) and I don’t have to be.
29. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had.
30. Saying no is a complete sentence.  No explanation is needed.
31. I mean what I say.
32. Trust the process even when it sucks.
33. I absolutely adore my husband.  He gets me. He listens and hears even when I think he doesn’t.
34. I don’t always like my husband, but he gets me.
35. He doesn’t always like me, but I get him.
36. Take yourself serious, but don’t take yourself so serious.
37. When God is in it, it always works out of your good.
38. I don’t have to do it because you want me to. I do have a choice!
39. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about what life would look like at 40.  But I’m already thinking about what I want it to look like at 50. 😉
40. People mean well, but many of them are more talk than walk.

 

BONUSES Life Lessons (I couldn’t stop at 40):

1. I prefer quiet time. Tea. Snuggles on the couch rather than being around a lot of people.
2. I think I am what they call and Ambivert. I’m both introvert and extrovert.  I like people but I need to be alone. I’m a beast when I have to be (on stage, teaching, preaching, etc.) but then I need quiet time to recharge.
3. I’ve learned to get out of my own way. I can be my own worst enemy sometimes.
4. Stop overthinking everything.
5. Progression not perfection. It will never be perfect. Done beats perfect everyday.
6. I’ve wasted lots of time thinking about getting ready to get ready.
7. Sometimes you just have to do and figure it out as you go.
8. Marriage only works if you work it.
9. Parenting only works if you work it and sometimes it doesn’t when you are raising a four-year old.
10. Balance doesn’t exist.  It’s whatever you make it to be.
11. Being a Mom, Wife, Adjunct Instructor, Entrepreneur, Ministry Leader (and any other role I have) is hard some days.  Some days I want to hide up under a rock.
12. Never assume people know what you need. Tell them. Thats why it’s called communication. Still learning this… Honey should know exactly what I’m thinking all ALL TIMES… right? 😉 nope… lol

 

Ok.. ok… ok… I’m done. 🙂

I could most assuredly go on but I won’t.

So many life lessons learned that we could be here all day.  I hope you enjoy what I shared.  Let me know in the comments section or tweet me which lesson you connected with the most. You should know that on the eve of my 10th wedding anniversary (8.19.16), so some of these could go into a married life – life lessons post, but overall they are still life lessons.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment here on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

Register for my #LifeScope Master Class: Crush Procrastination – Get Started & Stop Stuntin’  Wednesday, August 31,2 016 – 8:30PM EST. Investment: $37.00. Register at http://www.trueheartspeaks.com/events.

Conflict schedule? Replay will be emailed to all who register.

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a 45-minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living but need to support of your sister-friends?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope on periscope or Facebook. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of August, we are chatting all about Procrastination.

Try again… It may not work the first time

Ok so I’m back talking more about my grass and how I’m trying to be intentional in doing the work.  Well let me let you in on a little secret… this isn’t the first time we’ve tried to create our own version of green grass like our neighbor. You see it’s been a few years that we’ve been at it but the one thing that’s been a constant, is that we’ve been inconsistent. We didn’t achieve our green grass dream on the first, second or even third try.

I’m not sure which try we are on now but I’m determined to do better this time around.

What about you?

Have you given up because it didn’t work out the first time like you thought it would?

I know we get these super duper ambitious goals and think that once we put ourselves out there, everything will line up and work out.

NOT SO!

I’ve learned that sometimes it’s not supposed to work out the first time. Sometimes you’ve got to put some sweat equity in the game to see any results. Some people quit when the going gets tough. They punk out. They say it wasn’t for them. Or it just wasn’t meant to be. Or maybe it just wasn’t God’s time. Now that may be the case but just because it wasn’t or isn’t Gods time, does mean it’s an excuse to quit.

Honey and I could easily just say we don’t have the time or the energy or the resources. We could also wait until we move into our ‘dream house‘ with our ‘dream yard‘ but that means nothing if we treat it the same way we are treating our current grass.

• Are you waiting on some day?
• Are you waiting for your greater while ignoring and and neglecting your season of lesser?

Be mindful that God won’t bless you with more if you haven’t learned to take of and be grateful for what you have. {Tweet This}

Listen I get it. You know you were created for greatness. You know there’s more to life than what you’re experiencing right now. But you have to be intentional and committed to the process, not just the promise.

You can’t have the promise without the process, nor elevation without transformation. {Tweet This}

It just doesn’t work that way. Sometimes it won’t work out on the first try. Sometimes it won’t work at all. Sometimes God is building resilience in you. Sometimes he wants to see how committed you will be when you find out it’s harder than you thought or when it’s more than what you bargained for.

• Will you stay the course?
• Will you try again?
• Or will you give up?

Honey and I are committed to getting the green grass we dream and talk about. We are committed to doing the work, buying the supplies, and working with what we have.

What about you?

Your assignment:

• Get back in the game.  
• Stay the course and Keep Going.
• Trust God.  
• Do the work.  
• Be consistent. Remember that repetition + consistency = success.
• Try a new approach if the current doesn’t work.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment here on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a 45-minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living but need to support of your sister-friends?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of July, we are studying and discussing the Book of Proverbs.

Do The Work

I know you’ve heard the saying “the grass is/isn’t greener on the other side.” You’ve probably also heard it said that the reason we think the grass is greener on the other side is because we pay more attention to ‘their’ grass instead of tending to our own.

Well, I want to take a moment to talk about doing the work.

About a year ago, hubby and I talked about taking better care of our grass. You see we have this neighbor who has impeccable grass. Check out the photo below… You’ll noticed the not-so-cared-for-grass is ours and the really nice grass is that of our neighbors across the street.

Well one of the things that I’ve learned about watching our neighbor is that you’ve got to be in it for the long haul if you want your grass to be green just like the grass on the other side. And just so you know, while writing on my porch, my neighbor had already been out watering his grass and tending to his lawn.  Talk about consistency.

Over the years, I (we) noticed that every chance he got he’s be out two sometimes three times a day watering, cutting, trimming his grass. He was doing the work.

Hubby and I on the other hand… NOT! (lol)

We wanted the green grass like our neighbor but we’d just been offering lip service. You know, talking a good game.

Well since writing this post (it’s been about a week), guess what I’ve been doing?

Yep you guessed it!

DOING THE WORK!

I found our sprinkler, hooked it up to the hose so that I could water my own grass instead of watching my neighbor water his. It’s actually been 2-3 times this week. I’m pretty proud of myself, if I do say so myself.

Now you might be wondering how this applies you, well like hubby and I, I imagine you’ve got really good, no great lip service. You even know what to do (or maybe you don’t). You watch other people get their lives in order. You watch other people go after their dreams. You talk about how great their ‘grass’ looks and how you wish you could get yours to look like ‘theirs.‘ You talk about wanting what they have or something similar.

BUT you just sit by in admiration, sometimes with envy wishing and wanting things to be different however you aren’t doing anything different.

Let me ask you this?

• Are you willing to do the work needed to have the green grass (life, dreams, goals, etc.) you admire and desire?
• Are you willing to learn what’s needed to accomplish what you desire?
• Are you ready to start doing and stop talking or thinking about it?

You see, in addition to being willing to do the work, you may have to learn a new skill or get some training and you will most assuredly have to stop running your mouth and get to work.

I will say that there is still much to be done with my own grass, but I am proud to say that I am doing the work. My next step will be to buy some grass seed to make my lawn fuller, as well as get rid of some of the weeds, but I am committed to doing the work, what about you?

Your assignment:

1. Identify your ‘green grass.’ What have you been talking and thinking about doing but have yet to do? 
2. Stop talking and thinking about it.
3. Identify what’s needed in order for you to get started?  Do you have what you need or will you have to acquire tools, supplies, training, etc. (Don’t spend money if you don’t need to.)
4. Take some time to write in a journal why you haven’t gotten started today? What’s really holding you back. Sometimes it’s easier to admire what others are doing from a far than it is to put the work in.
5. Start today. Do the work. Do one thing today that will inch you towards achieving your ‘green grass.’

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I know that his/her grass seems greener on the other side, but you could have green grass if you would just do the work. @TrueheartSpeaks

~Click to Tweet

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Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a 45-minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living but need to support of your sister-friends?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of July, we will be talking about the Book of Proverbs.

Quitting is NOT an Option

Now before you jump on this and refute the topic of this week’s message. Stay with me for a moment.

Last week I was faced with a decision. Some things weren’t panning out the way I had anticipated and I had the thought of just postponing my plans. Before making the final decision, as with most decisions, (yes as a type A personality, I don’t always consult with God on his plan for my life, but that’s another message) I went to the Lord in prayer. I asked what I should do. I sat quietly and the Lord immediately spoke to me saying, “you will keep going. Quitting, pausing, or postponing is not an option and would be too easy. You will stay the course and you will do the work.”

I sat there for a few seconds and internally said “ok.”

This story is still evolving so I can’t tell you how it ends just yet, but just know that since that conversation, things have started falling into place. But more importantly, I am doing the work.

This was never supposed to be about perfection but progression. I wanted things to happen a certain way and because, I felt like I had made a mistake or the timing was off.

So let me ask you something…

• What are you supposed to be doing that just doesn’t seem to be coming together? 
• What has God given you to do and because it’s seems harder than you thought, you’ve decided to push back the timetable?
• Or you’ve decided to just quit thinking it wasn’t meant to be?

I will tell you like I was told last week during my prayer time …
“You will keep going. Quitting, pausing, or postponing is not an option and would be too easy. You will stay the course and you will do the work.”
Get back in position. Get back on track. And as Beyoncé says, get into formation.

You see quitting, postponing, and pushing things back would be too easy. You’d be let off the hook. You start again and then it got hard, you do what you are doing now.

Not happening.

You’re going to do the work.
You’re going to stay the course.
You’re to follow the plan.

It’s just as simple as that.

It was never promised that life would be easy. It was never promised that we wouldn’t have to put some sweat equity into this thing called life.

Maybe you’ve gotten discouraged because you’re working to fix your finances and things just don’t seem to turning around as quickly as you’d like. Are you putting the work or are you expecting things to work out on their own. You haven’t changed what you do or how you do it. 

Listen, nothing changes if nothing changes.

DO THE WORK! 

Maybe you want your marriage to turn around for the better but you’re waiting on him/her to do something before you put in any work. Well then you don’t want it bad enough. What are you doing to create the marriage you desire? What changes have YOU made?

I could offer tons of examples but the premise of this message is this….

Stop thinking that because things aren’t going as expected, that you’re supposed to quit, post pone or push things back.

I know I know I know… there are times when quitting, letting go, pushing things back, is just what the doctor ordered.

This is not one of them.

Not when faith is involved and God has positioned you for greater and to do something you know you can’t do on your own. This is one of those times where you have to do what you can, so God can do what you can’t.

Do your part. Get back in the game. Get your mind and your heart back on track. Focus. Hone in. Get moving.

Even in the midst of the valleys and the dark alleys…

Stay the course. Keep your eyes on the prize. Push until you can’t push anymore.

Fight for your life.
Fight for your dreams.
Fight for your marriage.
Fight for your family.
Fight for your sanity.
Fight for your health.

No matter what it is…

QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION. 

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Stop thinking that because things aren’t going as expected, that you’re supposed to quit, post pone, or push things back.
@TrueheartSpeaks

Click to Tweet this

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Your assignment:

This week, I want you to identify whatever you contemplated quitting, postponing or pushing back. Then, I want you to the get quiet, refocus, reframe, listen for instructions, then do what you’ve been putting off.  It’s just that simple. Reposition if you need to. Cut some things off if need be. Be get back in the game. Get your mind and your heart in sync, so your words and actions can follow.

Trust that He who began a good work in you, shall complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.  God didn’t bring you this far to leave you.  Could it be that he’s holding out to see if you want it bad enough.  He hasn’t moved, because you haven’t moved.  He will move on your behalf, when you do.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

ATLANTA — I am headed your way on Saturday, June 11th at 10m for the first stop on my #iSpeakLife Empowerment Experience for Women.  This event was designed for the successful yet busy and overwhelmed women who seldom takes time to refill her cup. Get more info and register at www.ispeaklifelive.com

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of May, we will be talking about MINDSET.

What are you waiting for?

So a few weeks ago, I challenged you to get out of your own way and start living with intention. My message stressing the fact that tomorrow is not promised was a clarion call to you to stop waiting on tomorrow.

With that being said, my message today is a continuation of the previous message. This past Friday, my hubby and I celebrated the life of friend that passed away who was 42 leaving behind his wife and ten year old son. Yes, crazy right!  It is very hard for me to think about raising my four-year-old son without his daddy but this will not be the reality for a set of four year old twins and now a 10 year old boy.

Some of you may have seen my facebook posts or you’ve heard me talk about it on facebook live or periscope but another husband and father left this world sooner than we would have like him to.  I won’t get into all of the specifics but I want to ask if you are living at your fullest capacity and if not, why?

What are you waiting for?  

I was at a Vision Book Party last weekend and a question was posed by one of the ladies and she asked about timing regarding the manifestation of dreams/goals. She basically wanted to know if there was a deadline on dreams and if she has missed her time.  As the conversation concluded, I simply asked her, “What are you waiting for?” and I will again ask you the same question.

What are you waiting for?  

After the sudden deaths of two really good people, there is an urgency for me to operate at my fullest capacity and do what really makes my heart smile.  I feel a sense of imperativeness to go full steam ahead to do what I know God has called me to do.  I will be 40 in a few months and although I know that God knows what He’s doing, I would hate to leave this world not having lived this life with a fullness and vibrancy that only I know can live it.

What about you? 

I mean really, time is of the essence and tomorrow is most assuredly not promised, so what will you do about it?

• Will you start writing the book?
• Will you work to clear up your credit?
• Will you start taking better care of yourself?
• Will you start the blog?
• Will you schedule the doctor’s appointment.
• Will you start the business or the ministry or the not for profit?
• Will you clear the clutter?
• Will you apply for the job?
• Will you update your resume?
• Will you fill out the application for school?
• Will you go on that vacation that you keep dreaming about?
• Will start saving for the vacation so you can actually make it a reality?

Will you just get started already or will you continue to let whatever is holding you back, keep you stuck, stalled and stagnant for another day, week, month, year or two years, like the woman who asked the question at the Vision Book Party?

Let me say this, if you are saying “Detra, I just don’t have time. I have too many other things going on in my life,” then you are focused on the wrong things and you need to reassess your priorities. You should only be giving those things that are highest priority to you, your time and energy. The problem is many of us are giving our time and energy to those things that drain and distract us from the essentials. Stop it!  If you struggle with this, get my Time Hacks for Busy Women training and workbook to help you start planning your day and your life around those things that matter most to you. (It’s 20% off until 5/25. Use the code: PMD16)

Listen, I trust God and believe that when our time is up, it’s in God’s timing. But what I won’t do is waste time while on this earth, letting my fear, my past, my present, people, or anything else keep me from living my best life. I read a book (I can’t remember which one) that said accumulate experiences not things and that’s what I plan to do. Hubby and I went on our first filed trip together with our son over the weekend and we had a blast. I don’t just want to work well, I want to live well and love big.

I am not sure what you are waiting on, but I challenge you to get out of your own way and get to the business of living. There is a group of people who are assigned to you who are waiting on you while you wait on … {you fill in the blank}.

Will you keep them (and yourself) waiting?

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Don’t just work well. Live well and love big.
@TrueheartSpeaks

Click to Tweet this

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Your assignment:

If you didn’t do what I asked you to do from a few weeks ago, I want you to stop thinking about those things you’ve wanted to do but kept putting off and DO THEM! Start making time for the things that matter most to you. Stop waiting until ‘tomorrow.’ Take action today. I am not sure what you are waiting on but you have everything you need right now at this very moment to take your next best step. DO IT!
Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

If this message resonated with you and you need strategies to help you get out of your own way and take action, schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to chat about what’s holding you back, what you are waiting on and why you haven’t gotten started. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of May, we will be talking about MINDSET.

Keep Going

A few weeks ago I travelled to Charlotte, NC with my family to see one my #BFF’s. It’s been way too long to count how many years it’s been since I’ve been to Charlotte to visit since she moved there.

Well on the way there, the weather was crazy.

One minute it was snowy, the next minute it was clear. Another minute it was rain-snowing and the next it was a white out. Yes to the point where I had to put the blinkers on while snailing (driving like 1 mile per hour) along the highway.

To say that we were ecstatic to finally arrive, was an understatement. Especially with a four year old asking what seemed like every hour, ‘Are we almost there?”  As I was driving, it dawned on me that life is sometimes like the almost 11 hour drive to Charlotte.

In this life, you will have ups and downs. You will also have days where you know where you want to go but the way seems so cloudy or snowy that you can barely see what’s in front of you.

Some days are as clear as a squeaky clean window where you can see exactly where you are going as far down the path as your eyes can take you. The path seems easy, simple and smooth sailing.

That is, until you hit a white patch or rain coming down so hard that you have to pull over until it subsides.

Know what I mean?

I imagine you do. I imagine you might be in one of those white-out periods where you can’t see your way through and you’re not sure how long it will be before it clears up.

You might be in a ‘raining so hard I had to pull over’ moment where you just have to put a pause on whatever is going on, get your self together and let it the process play out.

Maybe your situation is different. Maybe it’s smooth sailing for you.

Listen, no matter where you are in the journey called life, my message to you is KEEP GOING.

Don’t stop.

Don’t get comfortable.

Don’t become stagnant.

KEEP GOING. 

If you have to pull over…

If you have to slow down to a snail’s pace…

If you have to stop and ask for directions because you seem lost.

If you need to turn around or get off and go back to the last exit because you missed where you supposed to get off.

If you have to stop and get gas.

Do it…

But please don’t stop.

Pause.

But.

KEEP GOING!

My prayer is that no matter how hard life has been for you…

It will get better and it can get better.

Listen, I don’t know your story and for darn sure have no clue what you might be dealing with right now, but what I do know is if you are still here reading this message, you still have some life to live and a purpose to fulfill.

Just stay the course.

Don’t give up.

KEEP GOING!

KEEP GOING!

Your only assignment this week, is to NOT throw in the towel and KEEP GOING. 

If you aren’t sure how to keep going, let’s schedule a Pick My Brain Strategy Session to help you wrap your head around all that’s happening and get your clear and somewhat focused. Click here or click the image below to get more information and to schedule your session.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If these messages are hitting home, make sure you tweet me, share a post on facebook or comment on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up give a girl some love. 🙂

Attention ladies!! — If you are a woman of faith looking to live purposefully and grow spiritually, then join me here: bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety.  This group will help you get out of your own way and get to the business of living! Join me and a host of fabulous ladies in the #iSpeakLife Society Facebook Group.

Join every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for your Morning #LifeScope. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get you through the day.  For the month of March, we will be talking about FOCUS.

Not on Periscope? Download the periscope app on your phone. Search for me (TrueheartSpeaks). Follow me. Turn notifications on so you are notified whenever I am on Live.  Then be on the lookout when I’m live.

Change: Are you running from it?

Happy Sunday!

Now sure where in the world you might be, I am praying this message is find you nice and warm.  Here up north it is starting to get chillllly.  Yes C.O.L.D.  We got some snow last week and this is just the beginning.  I don’t even want to think about it.  The way out winters work up here, we could have snow showing up as late as May.  Can say a quick prayer that winter ends in March when spring arrives. 🙂 I know it’s wishful thinking, but a girl can dream can’t she.

Ok so last week, I shared a video via Facebook Live on the subject of Change.  I wondered why it is so hard for us to embrace change.  There are things that we know we need to do but we run from them because it challenges us to come out of our comfort zones and it forces us to change some things about us or our surroundings.

Click the image below and check out this week’s Life Purpose Message. Then let me know what you think.

If you are already a part of the #iSpeakLife Society, you may have seen this but it doesn’t hurt to watch it again.  Ever watch a movie a second, third or fourth time and get a new perspective each time you watch it.  Yeah me too.  So click the image and check out the video (again). 🙂

Until next time…

Remember to Live Purposefully!

Hugs + Love + Prayers

P.S. If you haven’t heard, ladies, the #iSpeakLife Society has officially launched.  If you are a woman of faith looking to live purposefully and grow spiritually, then join me here: bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety.  This group will help you get out of your own way and get to the business of living! Join me and a host of fabulous ladies in the #iSpeakLife Society Facebook Group.

Move in spite of how you feel

I had a friend call me one day and she was feeling some kinda way. She was working in a project and she just couldn’t get past how she was feeling. She was feeling blah, out of it, not motivated and just in a funk.

Have you ever felt that way…

I know I have…

Ever have a big project or task to tackle but you just did not ‘feel’ like it? Well me too. There have been tons of days where I didn’t feel like it but I did it anyway.

This conversation I was having with my friend is similar to many conversations I have had with clients on moving past how you feel so you can get to where you desire to be.

When you have a goal in front of you, you can let feelings get the best of you. And as women, we tend to rest in our feelings when making decisions.

STOP IT!

Now I’m not telling you to ignore your gut feelings or your intuition but I am saying that those feelings of ‘doubt, insecurity, I’m not enough, I don’t feel it, etc‘. — suck it up and get moving. Same thing I had to say to my girlfriend. Heck it’s the same thing I have to say to myself sometimes.  Depending on where you are in this journey, you don’t have time to be whining about how you feel.

Some days it’s do or don’t.

Either you make it happen or it doesn’t happen.

Sometimes you have to make the sacrifice now and sow the seeds now so you can reap a harvest later. Many of us want a good life, good health, good wealth, a good marriage or a great job, career or business but we don’t want to put the work in.

As a believer of Christ, the bible is clear that we walk by faith and not by sight. Walking by what you see is essentially walking by what you feel. This race we are called to run was never promised to be easy. Trust that whatever God has ordained and put you here to do, you have the strength, power and ability to do in Him.

Moving in spite of how you feel (& what you see) is all about trusting a power that is greater than you. When it gets hard, holdfast to the vision, dream, goal or aspiration. If you don’t have any, then that may be why you are tossed ‘to and fro.’ You have nothing to stand on. When your feelings are trying to overtake you, you have to also remember all of the ‘other’ stuff you’ve come through.  You also have to remember WHY you are doing what you are doing.

As you go higher, your faith will be tested and you have to make the decision that you will move in spite of how you feel. You move in what you know. You move not in what you see with your sight but in what you see with your vision.

• Feeling like giving up…
• Feeling like you can’t go any further…
• Feeling like this situation is about to over take you…

Well keep going… Put one step in front of the other and don’t let how you feel abort what’s ahead of you.

Until next time…

P.S. Are you need of an extra push in this particular area of your life. Are you feeling stuck, stalled or stagnant? Book your 90-Minute Push Me Strategy Session so we can get you take immediate action and instead of staying stuck in your feelings. Click here bit.ly/pushmedetra to secure your spot.

P.S.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.

P.S.S. My #iSpeakLife Empowerment Experience for Women is back!  The Fall Edition is happening Friday, September, 25 in Buffalo, NY.  Register and get more information at www.iSpeakLifeLive.com.

Use it or Lose it

As I’m getting older I’m learning that knowledge means nothing without application. In this day and age, knowledge comes a dime a dozen. There are so many places to gain new insight that there is really no way for someone to say ‘I didn’t know.’

With the Internet alone, you just about find information on any topic. The key however is what you do with that information once you acquire it.

The only way to master what you know is to use it.

There is a saying that says the key the getting ahead is getting started. I agree but once you get started you have to apply what you’ve learned. Information is one thing but when you add application and implementation, you’ve added a whole different dimension.

Let me share with you an example, my son knows his letters and some of numbers up to 20. However he now has to learn how to apply and implement what he has learned. After he masters learning them he has to use his letters to make words to write, to spell and read words. After learning his numbers he has to use them to add, subtract, multiply and divide.

What knowledge do you have that you need to master?

What information do you have in your arsenal that you have yet to sit down long enough to really master?

Once you’ve mastered it on that level how can you use it. We are so information hungry that we’ve become application and implementation lazy. We want all of this information but we don’t take the time to really apply what we’ve learned.

I know I’ve been guilty. Signing up for programs, reading books and or watching videos with great information but I have yet to use it. What about you? What do you now have yet to use or apply or implement?

Heck this can apply to your life… What lessons have you learned but have yet to apply in your life?

Remember we repeat tests we never learn from.

Your turn…

• Take some to really think about what you know and ask yourself what have you learned?
• Then ask yourself if you are actually applying what you’ve learned. No sense is trying to learn something new if what you already have isn’t being put to use, right!?!?!

Until next time…

P.S. Are you need of an extra push in a particular area of your life. Are you feeling stuck, stalled or stagnant? Book your 90 minute Push Me Strategy Session so we can get you unstuck so you get started on what’s most important. Click here bit.ly/pushmedetra

P.P.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.

P.P.P.S. Don’t forget to join my TrueheartSpeaks VIP List to get life purpose tips, tools & strategies to help you live in and on purpose. Click here to join!

How to navigate through the ups and downs of mommyhood

Ok so my son will be four in September and I’ve got to say that life is definitely a roller coaster with him around. Never a dull moment. Well in addition to being a mom, I’m a wife, a daughter, tee tee to my twin nieces, entrepreneur, adjunct instructor… And just so you know there are a few other roles that I probably my missed. Well if you’re a mom like me, life isn’t always cherries and it doesn’t always go as planned.

So to help you keep from getting your panties all in a bunch, here are a few tips to help you navigate this journey of being a mom. Now whether you’re just starting out like me or have been in the game for a while, tips to help make this job of being a mom a bit easier are always helpful.

Now keep in mind, I’m most certainly no expert but what I’ve found is if I’m going through it, so is someone else. Plus sharing is caring…

Just so you know as I am working on this he is upstairs watching spiderman next to his dad while his dad is sleeping (he super duper loves his daddy).

So here goes…

1. Pray: Nothing like taking every need to our God in prayer. Nothing like surrendering what we can’t do to the One who can do all things.  Never stop praying and never stop taking time (even if but for 5 minutes) to get quiet and let the Lord speak to and guide you.
2. Take some deep breaths: This may sound simple, but it works (and not just for giving birth – lol).  I learned the power of deep breathing while is school getting my first masters degree.  It relaxes you.  It eases the dis-ease or uneasiness you are feeling.  It also brings you back to your center and your core.  Sometimes in the midst of my three-nager (yes a new term I learned) spazzing out on me, yes he has melt downs and just so I don’t melt down with him, deep breathing (and hugs from my honey) help get me through those moments.
3. Let yourself off the hook: Listen, take the S off your chest and the bracelets off of your wrist (Wonder Woman) and be okay the perfection of your imperfections. I imagine that everyday won’t be perfect. I imagine that your children will make choices that you as a parent aren’t proud of, but let yourself off the hook. You are doing the best you can and even if you aren’t, the first step is acknowledging it so you can do something about it.
4. Ask for help: This is huge.  As mothers/parents, we sometimes feel weak and vulnerable when we have to ask for help because we feel like we should have it all together.  God never asked you to have it all together.  He just asks that you do your part.  Are you doing your part, so that God can do His part?  Understand that trying to do it by yourself is sometimes what causes the stress and anxiety that we encounter because we want others to think we have it together when we are struggling.  Seek God for provision and assistance.  Seek out help from those who have offered but you said no because your pride wouldn’t let you say yes.
5. Talk to other moms: I found that when I talked to other moms, it wasn’t as bad as I thought and I realized I wasn’t the only one.  Find some mom friends who you can talk to about what you are going through and who can relate. Don’t isolate yourself thinking it’s just you going through whatever you are going through.  Open your mouth and connect with those who in the same boat as you.
6. Do what works for you:  Realize that as a mom you have to do what works for you.  If you follow me on social media at all, you know I am big on doing what works for you. You can’t always follows the mommy/parent rules that other people have followed.  You have to do what works for you and your family.  You have to do what makes you and your family happy, regardless of what people have to say about it. They may not like it but you better believe, if you are stern, they will respect it.  Make your own rules, create your own lines and do what works for you and yours.
7. Take a day off: If you work and work and work and work and work but you never rest, you become agitated, burned out, stressed, overly emotional and much, much more.  Learn to take a day off.  Even if you can’t take a day off from being a mom, see if you can take a day off from work.  Take a mental health day.  I am a firm believer in taking care of your mind and spirit in the same way your take care of your body (that is if you take care of your body). If God worked six days and rested on the 7th day, you should follow suit.
8. Stop comparing: Don’t comparing your life to someone else’s. You don’t know what they had to go through to get what they’ve got. Nor do you know if what you see is actually truth and facts. We show people what we want them to see and what you are comparing yourself to may in fact be false. Stay in your own lane and run your own race.  Stop trying to compare and compete with people who aren’t even on your level or on different level because they’ve put in work that you choose not to put in (that’s another covno). Don’t compare your four children situation to someone who has two. Don’t compare your apples to someone else’s oranges.  It just cause more stress to an already stressful situation.

Your turn…

• In order to generate and create the life of purpose you crave you have to start doing things differently and do what works for you. Take some time to figure out what really works for you and do it. Make adjustments as needed.
• Don’t isolate yourself and don’t assume you’re the only one going through what your going through. Share your journey with other moms.
• Use the tips above that I shared, especially 4 & 5.

I’m sure there are other mom’s who’d loved to hear from you. After reading this week’s Life Purpose Message, share your thoughts with me in the TrueheartSpeaks Facebook Community.  

P.S. How can I serve you? Are you overwhelmed, stressed, busier than you need to be, losing yourself while pouring into others? Let’s chat… Click here to apply for a Complimentary Life Purpose Discovery Session bit.ly/workwithDetra

P.S.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.

Until next time…