Category Archives: Lifestyle Management

Why Quiet Time is crucial and critical

Why quiet time is crucial
Per your request, this month I will be focusing on quiet time with God. If you were on my 5 day challenge on periscope, you received some short, simple but powerful strategies to get started if you’ve been struggling with this topic. If not, you missed a really good time.  We had a blast!
In today’s busy world, people say they are busy. But let’s be honest, we make and create time for what we want to do or have. If it’s important, we make and create time for it. If it’s not, we don’t. So it’s safe to say we really aren’t that busy, we’ve just decided that quiet time with God isn’t as important as some of the other things we ‘have’ to do.
I think we assume that when we don’t create time to spend with God, it’s not that big of a deal. Well guess what, it is. Quiet time is essential to your walk with God. Quiet time is essential to not only hearing from God, but hearing CLEARLY.
If the only time we go to God is when we need something, what type of message does that give him?
Let me explain…
What if the only time someone in your life spoke to you or spent time with you, was when they wanted or needed something?
They never called or texted, just to talk and see how you were doing. They ONLY called when they wanted or needed something.
I bet you can think of a few people that come to mind.
Well we don’t want to be that person with God. We want to intentionally spend time with him on a regular basis, whether we need something or not. And let’s be honest, we always need God. There’s never a time when we don’t need Him in our lives. But by spending time with Him, we show Him we appreciate him.
I go in depth on this topic in the recording from day three of the 5 day quiet time challenge.  Click here to check out day three of my quiet time challenge on why quiet time is crucial and critical.
Once you check out the video, let me know if you’ve been guilty of putting everything and everyone above your quiet time with God.
Until Next Time…
Hug + Love+ Prayers
Detra
P.S. Did you get the FREE Quiet Time Checklist that I gave away?  If not, click here to get yours.
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P.P.S. Have you joined the #iSpeakLife Society?  It’s my FREE Private Facebook Group for women of faith who know they need to get out of their own way so they can live purposefully and grow spiritually. Click here + request access.
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P.P.P.S. Have a question or a challenge and need immediate feedback?  Schedule a 45-Minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to flush out all of your thoughts and ask me as many questions as needed to get clear and get started. Learn more here –> bit.ly/pickmybrain45
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Move in spite of how you feel

Move in spite of how you feel

I had a friend call me one day and she was feeling some kinda way. She was working in a project and she just couldn’t get past how she was feeling. She was feeling blah, out of it, not motivated and just in a funk.

Have you ever felt that way…

I know I have…

Ever have a big project or task to tackle but you just did not ‘feel’ like it? Well me too. There have been tons of days where I didn’t feel like it but I did it anyway.

This conversation I was having with my friend is similar to many conversations I have had with clients on moving past how you feel so you can get to where you desire to be.

When you have a goal in front of you, you can let feelings get the best of you. And as women, we tend to rest in our feelings when making decisions.

STOP IT!

Now I’m not telling you to ignore your gut feelings or your intuition but I am saying that those feelings of ‘doubt, insecurity, I’m not enough, I don’t feel it, etc‘. — suck it up and get moving. Same thing I had to say to my girlfriend. Heck it’s the same thing I have to say to myself sometimes.  Depending on where you are in this journey, you don’t have time to be whining about how you feel.

Some days it’s do or don’t.

Either you make it happen or it doesn’t happen.

Sometimes you have to make the sacrifice now and sow the seeds now so you can reap a harvest later. Many of us want a good life, good health, good wealth, a good marriage or a great job, career or business but we don’t want to put the work in.

As a believer of Christ, the bible is clear that we walk by faith and not by sight. Walking by what you see is essentially walking by what you feel. This race we are called to run was never promised to be easy. Trust that whatever God has ordained and put you here to do, you have the strength, power and ability to do in Him.

Moving in spite of how you feel (& what you see) is all about trusting a power that is greater than you. When it gets hard, holdfast to the vision, dream, goal or aspiration. If you don’t have any, then that may be why you are tossed ‘to and fro.’ You have nothing to stand on. When your feelings are trying to overtake you, you have to also remember all of the ‘other’ stuff you’ve come through.  You also have to remember WHY you are doing what you are doing.

As you go higher, your faith will be tested and you have to make the decision that you will move in spite of how you feel. You move in what you know. You move not in what you see with your sight but in what you see with your vision.

  • Feeling like giving up…
  • Feeling like you can’t go any further…
  • Feeling like this situation is about to over take you…

Well keep going… Put one step in front of the other and don’t let how you feel abort what’s ahead of you.

Until next time…

P.S. Are you need of an extra push in this particular area of your life. Are you feeling stuck, stalled or stagnant? Book your 90-Minute Push Me Strategy Session so we can get you take immediate action and instead of staying stuck in your feelings. Click here bit.ly/pushmedetra to secure your spot.

P.S.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.

P.S.S. My #iSpeakLife Empowerment Experience for Women is back!  The Fall Edition is happening Friday, September, 25 in Buffalo, NY.  Register and get more information at www.iSpeakLifeLive.com.

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Use it or Lose it

use it or lose it

As I’m getting older I’m learning that knowledge means nothing without application. In this day and age, knowledge comes a dime a dozen. There are so many places to gain new insight that there is really no way for someone to say ‘I didn’t know.’

With the Internet alone, you just about find information on any topic. The key however is what you do with that information once you acquire it.

The only way to master what you know is to use it.

There is a saying that says the key the getting ahead is getting started. I agree but once you get started you have to apply what you’ve learned. Information is one thing but when you add application and implementation, you’ve added a whole different dimension.

Let me share with you an example, my son knows his letters and some of numbers up to 20. However he now has to learn how to apply and implement what he has learned. After he masters learning them he has to use his letters to make words to write, to spell and read words. After learning his numbers he has to use them to add, subtract, multiply and divide.

What knowledge do you have that you need to master?

What information do you have in your arsenal that you have yet to sit down long enough to really master?

Once you’ve mastered it on that level how can you use it. We are so information hungry that we’ve become application and implementation lazy. We want all of this information but we don’t take the time to really apply what we’ve learned.

I know I’ve been guilty. Signing up for programs, reading books and or watching videos with great information but I have yet to use it. What about you? What do you now have yet to use or apply or implement?

Heck this can apply to your life… What lessons have you learned but have yet to apply in your life?

Remember we repeat tests we never learn from.

Your turn…

  • Take some to really think about what you know and ask yourself what have you learned?
  • Then ask yourself if you are actually applying what you’ve learned. No sense is trying to learn something new if what you already have isn’t being put to use, right!?!?!

Until next time…

P.S. Are you need of an extra push in a particular area of your life. Are you feeling stuck, stalled or stagnant? Book your 90 minute Push Me Strategy Session so we can get you unstuck so you get started on what’s most important. Click here bit.ly/pushmedetra

P.P.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.

P.P.P.S. Don’t forget to join my TrueheartSpeaks VIP List to get life purpose tips, tools & strategies to help you live in and on purpose. Click here to join!

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How to navigate through the ups and downs of mommyhood

ups and downs of mommyhood

Ok so my son will be four in September and I’ve got to say that life is definitely a roller coaster with him around. Never a dull moment. Well in addition to being a mom, I’m a wife, a daughter, tee tee to my twin nieces, entrepreneur, adjunct instructor… And just so you know there are a few other roles that I probably my missed. Well if you’re a mom like me, life isn’t always cherries and it doesn’t always go as planned.

So to help you keep from getting your panties all in a bunch, here are a few tips to help you navigate this journey of being a mom. Now whether you’re just starting out like me or have been in the game for a while, tips to help make this job of being a mom a bit easier are always helpful.

Now keep in mind, I’m most certainly no expert but what I’ve found is if I’m going through it, so is someone else. Plus sharing is caring…

Just so you know as I am working on this he is upstairs watching spiderman next to his dad while his dad is sleeping (he super duper loves his daddy).

So here goes…

  1. Pray: Nothing like taking every need to our God in prayer. Nothing like surrendering what we can’t do to the One who can do all things.  Never stop praying and never stop taking time (even if but for 5 minutes) to get quiet and let the Lord speak to and guide you.
  2. Take some deep breaths: This may sound simple, but it works (and not just for giving birth – lol).  I learned the power of deep breathing while is school getting my first masters degree.  It relaxes you.  It eases the dis-ease or uneasiness you are feeling.  It also brings you back to your center and your core.  Sometimes in the midst of my three-nager (yes a new term I learned) spazzing out on me, yes he has melt downs and just so I don’t melt down with him, deep breathing (and hugs from my honey) help get me through those moments.
  3. Let yourself off the hook: Listen, take the S off your chest and the bracelets off of your wrist (Wonder Woman) and be okay the perfection of your imperfections. I imagine that everyday won’t be perfect. I imagine that your children will make choices that you as a parent aren’t proud of, but let yourself off the hook. You are doing the best you can and even if you aren’t, the first step is acknowledging it so you can do something about it.
  4. Ask for help: This is huge.  As mothers/parents, we sometimes feel weak and vulnerable when we have to ask for help because we feel like we should have it all together.  God never asked you to have it all together.  He just asks that you do your part.  Are you doing your part, so that God can do His part?  Understand that trying to do it by yourself is sometimes what causes the stress and anxiety that we encounter because we want others to think we have it together when we are struggling.  Seek God for provision and assistance.  Seek out help from those who have offered but you said no because your pride wouldn’t let you say yes.
  5. Talk to other moms: I found that when I talked to other moms, it wasn’t as bad as I thought and I realized I wasn’t the only one.  Find some mom friends who you can talk to about what you are going through and who can relate. Don’t isolate yourself thinking it’s just you going through whatever you are going through.  Open your mouth and connect with those who in the same boat as you.
  6. Do what works for you:  Realize that as a mom you have to do what works for you.  If you follow me on social media at all, you know I am big on doing what works for you. You can’t always follows the mommy/parent rules that other people have followed.  You have to do what works for you and your family.  You have to do what makes you and your family happy, regardless of what people have to say about it. They may not like it but you better believe, if you are stern, they will respect it.  Make your own rules, create your own lines and do what works for you and yours.
  7. Take a day off: If you work and work and work and work and work but you never rest, you become agitated, burned out, stressed, overly emotional and much, much more.  Learn to take a day off.  Even if you can’t take a day off from being a mom, see if you can take a day off from work.  Take a mental health day.  I am a firm believer in taking care of your mind and spirit in the same way your take care of your body (that is if you take care of your body). If God worked six days and rested on the 7th day, you should follow suit.
  8. Stop comparing: Don’t comparing your life to someone else’s. You don’t know what they had to go through to get what they’ve got. Nor do you know if what you see is actually truth and facts. We show people what we want them to see and what you are comparing yourself to may in fact be false. Stay in your own lane and run your own race.  Stop trying to compare and compete with people who aren’t even on your level or on different level because they’ve put in work that you choose not to put in (that’s another covno). Don’t compare your four children situation to someone who has two. Don’t compare your apples to someone else’s oranges.  It just cause more stress to an already stressful situation.

Your turn…

  • In order to generate and create the life of purpose you crave you have to start doing things differently and do what works for you. Take some time to figure out what really works for you and do it. Make adjustments as needed.
  • Don’t isolate yourself and don’t assume you’re the only one going through what your going through. Share your journey with other moms.
  • Use the tips above that I shared, especially 4 & 5.
I’m sure there are other mom’s who’d loved to hear from you. After reading this week’s Life Purpose Message, share your thoughts with me in the TrueheartSpeaks Facebook Community.  

P.S. How can I serve you? Are you overwhelmed, stressed, busier than you need to be, losing yourself while pouring into others? Let’s chat… Click here to apply for a Complimentary Life Purpose Discovery Session bit.ly/workwithDetra

P.S.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.

Until next time…

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Now is YOUR time!

Have you thought about working with me?

$97 PushMe SPECIAL

Well in an effort to support you, I wanted to make working with me a bit more accessible for those of you who believe that now is your time AND you are READY NOW to take action.

I know that many of you are feeling overwhelmed, stuck, stagnant and extremely stressed in certain areas of your life and as God began speaking to me about you during my prayer time, I decided that I wanted to meet you right where you are to be sure I was doing everything I know to do to support you.

So, FOR 24 HOURS ONLY, I am opening up my calendar for my 90 Minute One on One Push Me Strategy Session to more than just 4 people this month and I am offering it for a special reduced investment of $97 (regularly $397) to 10 (YES 10!!) people!

BOOK YOUR PUSH ME STRATEGY SESSION TODAY for $97!

If you have ever wanted to pick my brain and get my support, suggestions and strategy in the following areas of lifestyle management, spiritual guidance/development, getting out of your own way, showing up authentically in your life, putting yourself first, overcoming overwhelm, moving in spite of your fears, or just taking the first step to getting started, this offer is for you. –> bit.ly/pushme97

Working with me at this level is usually a personal investment of $397, and just so you know, you will not find this link on my website. If you make the investment on my website, you will be charged $397. Unfortunately, I can not hold spots because it is first come first serve and there are only a limited number of spaces (10 to be exact).

If you have ever been in my space and you know like I know, you will find a way to jump on this NOW!

BOOK YOUR PUSH ME STRATEGY SESSION TODAY for $97!

Once payment is received to secure your spot, you will receive an email from me to schedule the date and time of your session. All coaching sessions take place via Skype or Google Hangout. –> bit.ly/pushme97

Let me help you get clarity on the next best step to take in your life.

I look forward to hearing from you…

Detra

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Handle burnout before burnout handles you

Handle burnout before burnout handles you.

Now a days we are so busy that we are walking around here like the energizer bunny. We just keep going and going and going.

Between you and me … That’s not how it’s supposed to be.

Some of you my dear sisters are running yourselves ragged. You are tired, irritable, agitated, stressed, anxious, and just darn overwhelmed.

Well let me let you in on a little secret… If you don’t slow down and go sit down somewhere (some of you need to go lie down), you are going to go down.

Yes I said it.

I know you want to support everyone and you want to be super woman but if haven’t noticed, it isn’t working, is it? No I didn’t think so.

You see I’ve been there. Trying to be all things to all people with no one being anything to me. Or least partly because I wouldn’t let them help me. I didn’t want people to think I was weak or that I couldn’t handle everything I had going on. On the other hand, I also just thought running myself ragged (not intentionally) was what you were supposed to do, right?

WRONG!

Somewhere along this journey no one told me it was ok to say no. No one told me it was okay to put me first. No one said that if I kept going at the pace I was going, I’d finally crash. And guess what I crashed. I was exhausted, I was moody and I didn’t understand why no one stopped this train wreck before it had happened.

I will tell you why …

Because most of us women are all doing the same thing and we all think it’s what we are supposed to be doing. Most of us saw our mothers, aunts, grandmothers and other women in our immediate circle do it. Not knowing that they so wanted the rest, therefore I am giving you permission to take a break before you burnout.

So how exactly do you handle burnout before it handles you…

  • Say no
  • Set boundaries  
  • Know your stress triggers
  • Re-teach people how to treat you
  • Let yourself off the hook
  • Stop worrying about what people think so much
  • Unplug
  • Rest

There are so many more suggestions that I could share but I’ll leave you with these eight for now…  I think they are pretty self explanatory.

Get settled in and comfortable saying no and setting boundaries. Know those stress triggers that set you off and be aware when other people, places, and things set those triggers off.  If you have had a habit of letting people just treat you any kind of way, you need to re-teach them how to treat you according to your new normal. It is your responsibility to help them unlearn some of the habits they have been used to using.

Learn to let yourself off the hook.  It’s ok that you aren’t perfect.  It’s okay that you don’t have it all together.  It’s okay that you don’t have all the answers.  IT IS OKAY.  Let yourself off the hook.  God still smiles when you cross His mind.  Once you learn to let yourself off of the hook, understand that the freedom you desire comes when you stop worrying about what people think.  Who cares what they think.  I mean really…. who cares?  Why is their opinion so important? I want you to be more worried about what God thinks than what ‘people‘ think.

In order to stop worrying about what people think, you may need to unplug.  Cut the phone off, get off of social media, pray, journal, meditate.  Take a break from the tv and all of the ripping and running.  So whatever you need to do so long as you unplug and get quiet so that you can recharge.  Lastly, unplugging allows you to rest.

Your turn…

  • Pick one or two of the suggestions I gave you on how to handle burnout before it handles you and begin implementing them immediately.  Start small and then work you way up to integrating them all into your life.

If this resonated with you, share your comments below and feel free to share so that other women who read this can glean from your wisdom too.

If you need an extra Push in learning how to handle burnout before it handles you, schedule a PUSH ME 90 Minute Strategy Session.  Schedule yours here: bit.ly/pushmedetra.

Until next time….

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Do you really know what you need?

Do you really know what you need-

Ok so I wrote this almost a year ago and it’s been sitting in my blog drafts since last year. As I’ve been taking some time to start writing more and quieting myself, I happened to find this as I was scheduling my blogs for the next few weeks to get back on track.

As I was reading this I felt the need to share it since I think it still applies to today even though it was written last August while hubby and I were in vacay.

So here goes…. enjoy 🙂


Hubby and I are away on vacay for a few days and it wasn’t until I got to our destination that I realized that I needed it a lot more than I thought.  This is the first trip that hubby and I have taken alone since our son was born in 2011.

YESSSS… our WE time had been limited to Friday night dates, nap times and pure luck if Dallas went to bed early. As first time parents and absolutely in love love love with our baby boy, we tend to spend more time with him, and we enjoy it.

But as we spent time together on this trip we realized how much R&R we needed not only as man and woman but also husband and wife.  Some nights we are so exhausted that on the Friday night date night, we are happy just to lay in bed with no interruption.  There is no conversation, no cuddling, just pure REST and SLEEP.  Now don’t get me wrong we need that too but we had been working so hard at providing a good life experience for our son that we neglected ourselves and each other.

Now you may be wondering how this applies to you…

Although you may know what you need, you may not actually know what you need until you are in it.  Some things may not become clear to you until you take the time to take the first step, make the first move, launch out into the deep and just do it.

YES… just do it!

You will not always know where it will come from and it may come when you least expect it. I knew I needed a vacay and I knew that hubby and I needed to be more intentional with having WE time, but it wasn’t until actually being on vacation away from work, our son, our house and anything else that sometimes distracts us from taking time out to do what really matters, that we realized what we needed.  It was awesome and we are looking forward to doing this more often.

Your turn…

  • I challenge you to take some time to do what feeds your mind, your body, your soul, your marriage and any other area that needs recharging.
  • Be intentional in doing what matters most.
  • Be open to realizing that some things you will only come to know once you launch out in to the deep.

Be open to receive what you need not knowing where exactly it will come from…

Until next time…

P.S. Are you need of an extra push in a particular area of your life. Are you feeling stuck, stalled or stagnant?  Book your 90 minute Push Me Strategy Session so we can get you unstuck and get started on what’s most important. Click here bit.ly/pushmedetra

P.S.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.

P.S.S. Like this week’s life purpose message… leave a comment below.

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Keep It Simple

Keep It Simple

 

 

Keep It Simple — Just because you have it doesn’t mean you have to use it.

As someone who wears many hats, one of them is the ‘professor’ hat. I am an adjunct instructor and I teach a myriad of classes. This fall I had been asked to teach one class two ways, live and online. The live class is a no brainer but the online class isn’t. It’s new to me because I’ve never taught an online class and I have to create it from scratch.

This summer has been crazy busy … In a good way. But with that said,  I didn’t give myself enough time to look for books for my class. I submitted my order to my supervisor at the end of the summer session but the books weren’t ordered until last Thursday. I didn’t get them until last Friday. Classes started Monday. YIKES!!

So I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out how I was going to make this work with the short amount of work time that I had. My plan was to review my books on Friday when I got them and work all day in the office on Saturday. However the office wasn’t going to be open on Saturday. I found this out by popping into my director’s office to ask a question last fir day while picking my books up. Good thing I did.

Allllll day Saturday I spend working on my syllabi (I’m teaching four classes) and after going through the material I was overwhelmed. The class is 6 weeks and held three times a week. Not a lot of time for what I wanted to share. So I finally come up with a schedule and I start looking at my books and to decide which material to use, I realize it’s too much. In my heart of hearts I know there is no way for me to teach all of this material.

Tired. Overwhelmed. Hungry. (yes…. when I stay up late, I get hungry)

I finally decide to go to bed.

Ever been there. Yeah well this was me this weekend.

Well both Friday night and Saturday, I prayed before starting my work because I knew I had a limited amount f time to work. Both times God said KEEP IT SIMPLE. Well I didn’t listen on Saturday. I was cramming wayyyy too much information into my course schedule which was the reason for my overwhelm.

Sidebar Coaching Moment: Have you experienced that? Overwhelm because you are trying to do too much?  And because you are overwhelmed… you just shut down by either going to sleep or eating? Not good!

Well here’s the answer.

KEEP IT SIMPLE. During my morning prayer on Sunday, here is what God spoke to me…

Keep it simple. Just because you have three books to use doesn’t mean you have to. Use the one that you can get the most out of and add to it and tweak the class material as you have time to teach it. Keep it simple. Don’t overcomplicate it. 

Is this YOU?

Are you an analyzer and an over thinker like I am?

Do you think yourself into a doing absolutely nothing? 

Well this week’s message is for you? When things gets crazy and out of control, don’t get so caught up in the moment that you forget that you have a superior God who loves you enough and knows enough about you and your situation that He can guide you along the way. Don’t be so stressed and caught up in the moment that you forget to ‘have a little talk with Jesus and tell him all about your problems.’

One of the best decisions I made this weekend was consulting with HIM before starting. I already had the answer I just got caught up in the midst of the situation and lost track of what He told me to do which was KEEP IT SIMPLE. I choose the book I could get the most out of. I started classes on Monday so I keep you all posted on how this pans out. So far so good.

Your turn: Is there something you need to simplify in your life, career or business? Identify it and then ask God to show you how to simplify it to make it less stressful for you and those around you. Be open if He changes what you had planned. Sometimes you can’t receive new because you still holding on to what you have or what you created. Let God do a new thing in you. Let Him help you keep it simple. Remember, just because you have it doesn’t mean you have to use it this time. There will be other situations and circumstances where you will be able to put it to good use.

Until next time,

Always remember, to thine own self be TRUE for out of the abundance of the HEART, the mouth SPEAKS.

Live, Love, Lead
LIVE, LOVE, & LEAD in and on purpose.
Detra
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Are you too accessible?

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Click here if you would rather LISTEN to this week’s article.

Most people who know me, know that I am funny about my time.  I don’t like people trying to monopolize my time.  I also don’t like my time to be wasted.  I like to enjoy my time the way I want to.  Through client coaching conversations and random conversations with family and friends, I’ve learned that more and more people feel the need to answer every call, every text and respond to every email every time the phone chimes.  This need to be accessible has caused many people, myself included, to miss out on opportunities or become so distracted that we waste time helping people put out fires that have nothing to do with us.

Over the years I’ve become better at saying no, but that was very hard for at one time in my life.  I felt the need to say yes to every little thing someone asked me to do or be apart of.  Then in 2003, the Lord released me from every obligation by sending me to New York, New York as a National Urban Fellow to pursue my first Masters Degree at Baruch College.  I initially thought this degree was my ticket up the career path but it was far from it.  I learned so much about myself, who I was and who I was called to be, that getting the degree was miniscule.  The degree was just the catalyst used to get me away.

During that time I resigned from all committees, groups and organizations I was apart of and you know what …. it felt great to be in a place where I didn’t have any obligation to anyone or anything but to God and myself. Well school of course… but you know what I mean.  It was at that point that God began to show me that it was okay to resign and that the world wouldn’t fall apart of I decided to resign, withdraw or just say no.  I always thought I just HAD to be apart of ‘it.’  If it was something of interest, even a small interest, I most assuredly had to be involved.  NOT SO!  God began showing me that I was too accessible to others which limited my accessibility to Him.  I was saying yes to everything and everyone but I had forgotten my first love…. HIM.  I’m not sure who this is for but you have become too accessible.  You answer every call, you say yes to every request, you interrupt whatever it is that you have going on for someone else thus messing up your flow.  My question to you is… are you too accessible?

  • Is your phone always on?
  • Do you ever just not answer the phone without feeling guilty that you missed an important phone call?
  • Do you have to respond to every text EVERY TIME it comes through?
  • Do you say yes to every opportunity that is presented to you?
  • Do you say yes to every offer to serve on a committee at your church, your child’s school, sorority, etc?
  • Do you drop what you are doing at the drop a hat to appease, tend to and fix everyone else’s issues while leaving yours behind?
  • Do you put off those things that are of the utmost importance to you for things that are of less importance?

As you know I could go on… but listen here… if you said YES to any or most of these questions… you just might be TOO ACCESSIBLE.

As technology as gotten more savvy, I have had to get more intentional about not answering every call, not checking my email all day everyday, not checking every text or not liking every post on Facebook or intstagram.  I will be the first to tell you that as a workaholic I am a work in progress.  My hubby will tell you.  I could work tons of hours if he let me.  But I have an obligation to my husband to be a wife and to my son to be a mommy so I can’t be accessible to everyone else more than I am accessible to them as well as to myself.  Again… it’s a work in progress.  Sometimes I purposely leave my phone in another room just so I don’t have to hear the notifications or vibrating of the phone ringing and to be honest… it took some getting used to but now I like it.

So let me make some suggestions on how you can be less accessible.

  • cut off your phone
  • stop responding to every text that comes in
  • limit your time on Facebook, twitter, instagram, google plus, etc.
  • limit your time on email… check your email 2-3 times a day (I am currently working on this myself)
  • limit your business phone calls. Stop taking business calls after a certain time. (something else I too am working on)
  • limit your personal calls.  Spend some time with your family and yourself.  You cannot give what you do not have.
  • learn to say no.  I’ve said this a number of times in a number of my previous posts.  You can not be all things to all people.  Learn how to let people know that now is not the best time for you to commit to anything else.  Or just say you aren’t interested. Be honest.
  • turn off the notifications on your phone and computer so that you are not tempted to take a peek at who sent you what.

Now only you know if you are too accessible.  Only you know if you need to cut some things and some people back so that you can really focus on those things that are of the utmost importance to you.  I have shared a few tools with you; the question is will you use them.  As a LifeStyle Management Strategist, my job is give you simple and clear strategies on how to manage your life so you can live it in purpose everyday.

Your turn… tell me how accessible you are?  Do you have some work to do or have you mastered this skill?  As a work in progress, even I would like to know.  I’m still trying to find the perfect fit for how to make life as a mommy-wife-preneur work for me.  Some days are easier than others so your feedback could just be what our readers need to limit their accessibility and live more for themselves instead of others.

Until next time….

Choose to live in and on purpose!

Hugs…

Detra
Life Purpose Generator – Speaker | Coach | Consultant | Mentor
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Sure, please feel free to forward TrueheartWrites to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. TrueheartWrites is written and distributed by TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises.Life Purpose Generator, Detra M. Trueheart is a Speaker and Life Coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping purpose-driven women of faith break barriers in beliefs and behaviors  so they can live IN and ON Purpose with more focus, freedom, and fulfillment.  Learn how Detra can help you create a life with more clarity, confidence and convictionhttp://www.trueheartspeaks.com
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Do something different…

Do something different to have something different

Have you ever gotten to the point where things have gotten a little mundane in your life?

It’s not bad but it’s not juicy.

It’s just a little stale. You know?

Well this morning I started thinking that I wanted do something different for my honey.  He works crazy hours a few days a week so he doesn’t get to have dinner with us on those days.  I normally work in the morning while my son and hubby are sleeping, but I decided I would make dinner this morning so he would have dinner before going to work.  Now listen, I know for some of you out there, this is the norm for you but it’s not for me.  Plus my hubby isn’t too picky and he normally eats lunch or dinner at work on his long days.  But I wanted to do something different.  Not because he said anything but because I just decided that some times we need to do things different if we want to see something different in our lives.

My hubby knows I love him and he knows I would do anything for him, but doing this one gesture changed his mannerism this morning… he thought I was cooking dinner so that I could take lunch to work with me.  So when I said no I cooked dinner early so he could have something to take when he leaves, he was surprised somewhat taken aback.  You see I’m normally not home when he leaves during the day.  So after hearing me say I cooked for hime, at first he said… “what’d you do”  then he said “what do you want”  WE both laughed.  But seriously, I didn’t want anything and I didn’t do anything.  I just decided to do something different and I believe it make difference in how special I made him feel.

Now I don’t share this because I want congrats or kudos on what I did.  I share this to ask you … what small yet significant changes can you make in your life that could enhance or make your life better?  It made me feel good knowing that I did a little something ‘extra’ for my boo.  Some times it’s the little things that make a big difference.  I challenge you to think about what small yet significant things you can do in for yourself or for someone special in your life to make it a little bit juicier?

Remember if nothing changes, nothing changes.  In order for things to change in your life and those around you, you need to make some changes, first within yourself and for others.  Take some time to write down what those changes could be and don’t think about it too much, just TAKE ACTION.  Then come back and let me know how it worked out for you.  You know never, it could be the one thing you need to get that jolt or get your mojo back.

OH… don’t forget to join me next Tuesday for my free Monthly Motivational Coaching Call at 6pm.  It’s going to be juicy (that’s my new word-lol). It’s called “March Madness… 7 ways to minimize the madness in your life.” Check out the details below.

Until next time….

Choose to live in and on purpose!

Hugs…

Detra
Life Purpose Generator – Speaker | Coach | Consultant | Mentor
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WELCOME to all of our NEW subscribers & followers!
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 Join my newest Coaching Program – The Catalyst Club Inner Club —  It has already started but you can join anytime.  Join TODAY!

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Want to reprint this?
Sure, please feel free to forward TrueheartWrites to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. TrueheartWrites is written and distributed by TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises.Life Purpose Generator, Detra M. Trueheart is a Speaker and Life Coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping purpose-driven women of faith break barriers in beliefs and behaviors  so they can live IN and ON Purpose with more focus, freedom, and fulfillment.  Learn how Detra can help you create a life with more clarity, confidence and convictionhttp://www.trueheartspeaks.com
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