40 … and counting…

40 and counting

Ok so I just celebrated my 40th birthday on August 12th and now that I’m 40, here are a few things that I’ve learned about life and myself…

  1. Friends change. People change. I change. God doesn’t.
  2. People love you the best they know how
  3. I’m still evolving. I haven’t arrived just yet. 🙂
  4. I’m still learning who I am and who I’m becoming. I am loving who I am becoming.
  5. People suck sometimes. They don’t turn out to be who you thought
  6. Life sucks sometimes. It doesn’t turn out to be what you thought
  7. There’s nothing wrong with rest or naps. (if you know anything about me, you know I love naps)
  8. Asking for or receiving help doesn’t make any less of a person/woman
  9. I’m stronger than I give myself credit for
  10. I’m good (really good) at what I do and it’s ok to toot my own horn and know my worth.
  11. I’ve done good work in this world.
  12. I still have more work to do.
  13. God is faithful and His grace is sufficient.
  14. You get what you allow.
  15. Boundaries are everything.
  16. Quiet time is everything.
  17. I’m honored and blessed to be a wife and a mom. Some people may never experience that.
  18. People pleasing and seeking the approval of others is NO-NO.
  19. I no longer care what you think.
  20. What God thinks is more important.
  21. What you do isn’t who you are.
  22. Learn to learn who you are more than what you do.  I am learning this everyday.
  23. Sometimes the people closest to you won’t get it. Love them anyway. Find people who do get it.
  24. We all make mistakes. Some small. Some really, REALLY BIG!
  25. Grant people the same grace you’d want if you’re BIG mistakes were out on front street.
  26. I now know that I can forgive for me, but not tolerate you.
  27. Forgiveness doesn’t mean I have to allow you back into my space.
  28. I’m not perfect (just in case you didn’t know) and I don’t have to be.
  29. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had.
  30. Saying no is a complete sentence.  No explanation is needed.
  31. I mean what I say.
  32. Trust the process even when it sucks.
  33. I absolutely adore my husband.  He gets me. He listens and hears even when I think he doesn’t.
  34. I don’t always like my husband, but he gets me.
  35. He doesn’t always like me, but I get him.
  36. Take yourself serious, but don’t take yourself so serious.
  37. When God is in it, it always works out of your good.
  38. I don’t have to do it because you want me to. I do have a choice!
  39. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about what life would look like at 40.  But I’m already thinking about what I want it to look like at 50. 😉
  40. People mean well, but many of them are more talk than walk.


BONUSES Life Lessons (I couldn’t stop at 40):

  1. I prefer quiet time. Tea. Snuggles on the couch rather than being around a lot of people.
  2. I think I am what they call and Ambivert. I’m both introvert and extrovert.  I like people but I need to be alone. I’m a beast when I have to be (on stage, teaching, preaching, etc.) but then I need quiet time to recharge.
  3. I’ve learned to get out of my own way. I can be my own worst enemy sometimes.
  4. Stop overthinking everything.
  5. Progression not perfection. It will never be perfect. Done beats perfect everyday.
  6. I’ve wasted lots of time thinking about getting ready to get ready.
  7. Sometimes you just have to do and figure it out as you go.
  8. Marriage only works if you work it.
  9. Parenting only works if you work it and sometimes it doesn’t when you are raising a four-year old.
  10. Balance doesn’t exist.  It’s whatever you make it to be.
  11. Being a Mom, Wife, Adjunct Instructor, Entrepreneur, Ministry Leader (and any other role I have) is hard some days.  Some days I want to hide up under a rock.
  12. Never assume people know what you need. Tell them. Thats why it’s called communication. Still learning this… Honey should know exactly what I’m thinking all ALL TIMES… right? 😉 nope… lol


Ok.. ok… ok… I’m done. 🙂

I could most assuredly go on but I won’t.

So many life lessons learned that we could be here all day.  I hope you enjoy what I shared.  Let me know in the comments section or tweet me which lesson you connected with the most. You should know that on the eve of my 10th wedding anniversary (8.19.16), so some of these could go into a married life – life lessons post, but overall they are still life lessons.

Until Next Time…

Hug + Love + Prayers

P.S. If any of the messages I share are hitting home, make sure you tweet meshare a post on facebook or comment here on my blog.  Let me know you are reading and hit me up to give a girl some love.

Register for my #LifeScope Master Class: Crush Procrastination – Get Started & Stop Stuntin’  Wednesday, August 31,2 016 – 8:30PM EST. Investment: $37.00. Register at http://www.trueheartspeaks.com/events.

Conflict schedule? Replay will be emailed to all who register.

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If this message resonated with you and you are ready to take action but need help, schedule a 45-minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to brainstorm and create strategies to help get you moving. Click here to get more information and to schedule your session.

Ready to get out of your own way and get to the business of living but need to support of your sister-friends?  Join me and a host of other fabulous women in the #iSpeakLife Society Private FB Group for Women of Faith desiring to Live Purposefully and Grow Spiritually. bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety

Join me every Monday – Thursday at 7:15am EST for the Morning #LifeScope on periscope or Facebook. Each morning I am sharing tools, tips & strategies to help you live purposefully and grow spiritually. I also share inspirational messages to help get out of your own way and get you through the day.  For the month of August, we are chatting all about Procrastination.

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2 thoughts on “40 … and counting…

  1. Tamika says:

    Thank you Detra! Your TRUE heart speaks in all your post and messages! This was on time… Even though I’m late reading it❤

    Liked by 1 person

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