In preparation for 2016, I shared a survey asking a series of questions. One of which was “Which of the following areas do you struggle with the most?” There were about 5-7 topics that rose to the top of the list. I then asked my blog readers, my vip email list & the women in my private fb page which of those topics you’d like me start with and can you guess which one had the highest number?
Yep you guessed it, it was quiet time with God to clearly hear from Him. Now if you are reading this and thinking, that wasn’t on my list, no worries, I’ll be addressing all of the top topics you selected at some point throughout this year.
I got you! 😉
Ok so with that said, I wanted to share what works for me when I need to hear from God more clearly during my quiet time. Now let me say that it’s been almost 20 years since I committed my life to Christ, so don’t be so hard on yourself. This is a skill that takes time, patience, diligence and consistency.
You may not automatically recognize the voice of God because you aren’t sure if it’s him or you. I get it. I’ve been there and to be honest if I’m not careful to set time aside to commune and spend time with God, even some 19 years later, I question if what I heard was Him. If I happen to busy myself with the world’s cares and my own cares without giving them to him and letting him guide me through them, I get caught up in the busyness and chaotic noise of the world around me.
Can you relate?
Well because you wanted to see your boo. I don’t care how long of a day you had, you weren’t going to let that day go by without talking to or seeing him/her.
Take a second and really think about it.
This is what God wants from us. He wants to spend time with us. He wants to talk to us. He wants to love on is. He wants to be the first and last thing on our minds and in our hearts.
Now I know what you’re saying, “yeah Detra that’s sounds good and all and yes that’s what I want, but how do I get to that point.”
I get it and I’m going to help you out.
Below are some of the things I do to hear from God more clearly during my quiet time.
Yes I use them!
Check them out and figure out what you can immediately implement.
Now keep in mind there are other things you can do to hear from God more clearly but here are just a few to help you get started. Also remember that prayer and quiet time are different. You’re idea of prayer may be giving God your laundry list of to dos, saying amen, then getting up and going about your day without letting Him respond.
That’s not prayer, that’s a monologue. This is why you may not be able to hear clearly from him. You haven’t sat still long enough to allow him to respond. Once you pray, sit tight, get quiet and let God speak.
Give God the same kind of love and attention you want from Him.
Listen, there are days that I don’t say a word other than “God I want to hear from you. Speak to me today. I need you.”
Especially if what I’m going through has me on my last leg and there really isn’t anything else for me to say.
If you’ve been there you know what I mean.
Hopefully this post and the strategies I shared will help you on your journey to hearing from God more clearly.
Want to have these suggestions at your disposal to print and hang up to refer to?
I figured you would, so I created a Quiet Time Checklist for you to refer to when having your quiet time with God.
Next time you prepare to get quiet and have some alone time with God, use my FREE QUIET TIME CHECKLIST to help position you to hear everything God wants to say to you.
Until Next Time…
Hug + Love + Prayers
Yes it’s a simple but loaded question.
Do you REALLY know what you want?
Better yet let me ask you this, what does God want from you?
These two questions are huge because I’d like to know what your goals were for 2016 and how are you coming along in making those goals happen.
I know tons of people who went out and got planners, journals, highlighters, colored pens, post its, made these audacious goals and then went and took a nap. 🙂
Or something small happened, but nothing major.
Why, because it was overwhelming.
Now I will say this, maybe you were one of the many who got off to a good start. You created your goals and you started making things happen.
But I would go a little further to say that those who didn’t, weren’t really clear on what they wanted and didn’t really have a plan in place to make it happen.
I’m apart of an online women’s professional group and each Friday we host a weekly prayer call with a monthly theme. This month’s theme was “No More Excuses.” It was powerful! As I’m thinking about the excuses that get in the way of our goals, I started thinking about how we plan and decide what we want to accomplish.
In addition to being a speaker and coach/strategist for women, I teach a Student Success Strategies Class in an Adult Education Program and the first module is Goal Management. I teach the students to identify goals they’d like to accomplish and then we go through a series of lessons in the module. One of which is mapping our goals out long and short term.
So real quick… let me ask you a question.
Are you pursuing something that sounds good or are you working towards something that really moves you to action?
Many of us create goals that sound good. But that’s the problem. Once we create the goal, we aren’t really sure why we are doing it and we have no solid plan or strategy for making it happen.
As we launch into February, the second month of 2016, I want you to spend some time thinking about what you really want. I mean really want. This year I’ve purposed to get my finances in order. Not just my money, but my overall financial health i.e. creating a will, confirming another life insurance policy, creating an emergency fund & 6 months of savings… you get the gist.
There are a few other things I’m working toward like my physical health and growing even closer the God. You see, 2016 is all about loving me and loving me enough to do what’s best for me this year and no one else. It’s about filling my cup in overflow. Doing the work God has called me to do and being whole.
If you didn’t know, 16 in biblical numbers represents love.
So my question to you is what areas of your life do you need to love on?
As a somewhat recovering workaholic in training who works hard not to work when I want to work all the time, I’m working to create more balance in my life which means not just having work that I enjoy but also a life that enjoy. It’s means making time for honey and me as well as creating family time for my husband & my son and in order to spend together and create memories. My son is four and growing so fast that I don’t want to look up and it’s a blur.
So in focusing on all areas of my life, this encompasses what I call the 7 Facets of You™ (Spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, relational, professional/educational, & financial). 2016 is the year that I love on every area. I’ve written out how I want to grow in these areas this year and I’m committed to doing the work.
So as for you, again, my question is… What do you really want?
When you think about your life and what you desire over the long run, what do you want from your life and in your life and for your life? My next question is are you willing to do the work that’s necessary to get what you want? Lastly, is what you want in alignment with what God wants from you?
One thing I’m sure of is that if what you want isn’t in alignment with what God wants for you, you can be sure it isn’t going to work out or at least not to the magnitude that it could if His hand was on it.
Since January is done and February is basically here, I want you to take some time to realistically think about what you want.
Then create 1-2 things you know you can work on this year. Don’t make them too big, but big enough to where they stretch you. Think about your why.
I also want you to put it somewhere visible as a constant reminder and then be open to God changing it if He sees fit.
Lastly I want you to break your goals down into quarterly (90 days), monthly (30 days) weekly (7 days), & daily goals.
Now depending on your focus, you may not have to do something everyday. For example, hubby and I are doing the 52 week money challenge. But since we can never remember to do it chronologically, we are just saving $26 every week and putting it in an account. You see we aren’t doing anything daily, this is more of a weekly goal. The important thing is to get clear on what you want, why you want it, what making it happen actually looks like. Then do the work to make it happen.
I hope this helps you off to a better start for your year and if you’ve been hiding under the covers in overwhelm, you can come out now. 🙂
*|FNAME|*, these are the very questions I ask my clients and students. So you have a head start on getting clear on what you really want.
You’ve got your marching orders, now get to work!
Tell me in the comment section below what you want and why you want it? Or hope over to the #iSpeakLife Society to share your comments.
Need help … No worries!
Schedule a 45-Minute Pick My Brain Strategy Session to flush out all of your thoughts and ask me as many questions as needed to get clear and get started. Learn more here –> bit.ly/pickmybrain45
Until next time…
Hugs + Love + Prayers
Now sure where in the world you might be, I am praying this message is find you nice and warm. Here up north it is starting to get chillllly. Yes C.O.L.D. We got some snow last week and this is just the beginning. I don’t even want to think about it. The way out winters work up here, we could have snow showing up as late as May. Can say a quick prayer that winter ends in March when spring arrives. 🙂 I know it’s wishful thinking, but a girl can dream can’t she.
Ok so last week, I shared a video via Facebook Live on the subject of Change. I wondered why it is so hard for us to embrace change. There are things that we know we need to do but we run from them because it challenges us to come out of our comfort zones and it forces us to change some things about us or our surroundings.
Click the image below and check out this week’s Life Purpose Message. Then let me know what you think.
If you are already a part of the #iSpeakLife Society, you may have seen this but it doesn’t hurt to watch it again. Ever watch a movie a second, third or fourth time and get a new perspective each time you watch it. Yeah me too. So click the image and check out the video (again). 🙂
Until next time…
Remember to Live Purposefully!
Hugs + Love + Prayers
P.S. If you haven’t heard, ladies, the #iSpeakLife Society has officially launched. If you are a woman of faith looking to live purposefully and grow spiritually, then join me here: bit.ly/ispeaklifesociety. This group will help you get out of your own way and get to the business of living! Join me and a host of fabulous ladies in the #iSpeakLife Society Facebook Group.
I know we are a few weeks into the new year… but I’ve still been reflecting on 2015 and the lessons I learned. So I wanted to share them with you…
I’m sure there are other lessons I missed and will add as time goes on .
Take some time to really reflect on 2015. Write down all the lessons 2015 taught you and then share a few with me.
Until next time…
Remember to Live Purposefully!
After all it’s just paper right?
Well after all of the paper, I shredded, I still have more paper to get rid of. I’m not done yet but I got started. I’m not done yet but I see and feel the difference in the space I call my office. I’m not done yet but I’m little further than I was before I started. You get the point.
… I challenge you to do it!
P.S. Once you get started, let me know what you’ve decided to do…
Until next time…
Hugs + Love + Prayers
Can you believe it?
Christmas 2015 came and gone and 2016 is right around the corner. I pray your Christmas was filled with lots of love. We had a pretty low key day with family.
Ok so , we are just four days from closing out 2015 and I know many of you have decided to wait until 2016 to kick off your new goals, dreams, aspirations and resolutions (do people still make resolutions?). Well as I was thinking over the weekend about what I wanted to be different for me in 2016, I realized that while waiting until the new year makes sense, it doesn’t have to apply to me.
Let me fill you in…
Maybe you want to wait until the new year to get your life together. Maybe it’s going to church more often. Maybe it’s exercising more or drinking more water. Maybe it’s spending more time with family and loved ones. Maybe it’s doing a better job of saving money. Maybe it’s investing in your business.
Well whatever it is, you know that just because most people wait until the new year to start doesn’t mean you have to. You see, waiting until the new year, doesn’t really guarantee your success. It just means you waited four days to start in the new year what you could have started today. Now you might be wondering what I mean by that.
Well if you own a business or know anything about businesses. Most businesses starting planning for the following year around September, October. Heck, many have completed their 2016 plan by September/October and by the time January 1 starts, their 2016 business plan is already done and they are ready to launch their plan.
So how does this apply to you?
Well I want you to take these next few days to get started. That’s right start today. Figure out what you want to be different in 2016 and start putting in the work to make it happen today. If you need to open the account for the new savings, then do it today. If you want to start drinking more water, go buy the water today. If you want to go back to school, start filling out the application today.
You get the point!
You see, we like to use the excuse that since there are only a few more days left in the year, we will just wait until next year to get started when there are other underlying reasons why we haven’t started. I won’t get into those right now, but what I will say is stop making excuses about why you can’t start today. Get rid of what ‘society’ says you can do and when ‘they’ say you have to do it. Create a ‘new normal’ in your life. Create new standards and even new boundaries.
In preparation for 2016, I did my normal research of numbers and found that 16 represents LOVE. Yes … LOVE. I’ve been pondering and chewing on this for some time and there were many things that came to mind for me, which I will share with you.
This year will be a year of love in every area of your life. Loving more of you. Loving more of your family. Loving more of God. Loving more of your life. You see we spend so much time loving others that we miss the chance to love on ourselves. We also spend so much time admiring other people’s lives that we miss the chance to really fall in love with our own lives. This year will be the year that, if you should desire it, you will experience a love like never before. The reason I say should you desire it, is because this will be something that will only manifest in your desires and expectation. You have to want it. If you don’t want to experience the fullness of love in all areas of your life, you won’t.
As we transition from 2015 to 2016, my prayer for you is that you would start today. You see, I was going to wait until the new year to do a detox and I said, “what the heck, why wait until Jan 1 when I can start today and I did.” I went to the store, bought my detox tea and had my first cup this evening.
No more waiting and contemplating.
I will be popping into your inbox periodically this week to share a few other end of the year thoughts!
Remember to Live Purposefully…
Hugs + Love + Prayers,
I know that marriage is majorly under attack. I wonder if we put as much time into doing WHATEVER it took to make it work, and focusing more on how WE can make it better as opposed to what THEY aren’t dong or what THEY can do, would marriages be in a different place? I wonder if Divorce was removed from being an option, would people work a little harder to make it work.
Now don’t get me wrong, some folks know good and well they had no business getting married. I know that times get hard, money gets funny, folks change, but at the end of the day are we really committed to the vows and covenant we took.
I think people need grace, forgiveness and love, but I also think people think transparency, safety, honest, commitment, fidelity, intimacy and communication. We need prayer…. LOTS of prayer. Not sure if you’ve tried it, but it works. Sometimes you have to stop telling everyone what’s not going right and talk to God about what you desire to be right in your marriage.
As honey and I prepare to celebrate 10 years in august 2016 (God-willing) I want to be who he needs me to be, which isn’t always who I want to be (jussayin). I want to be who God created me to be for him. I want us to be on the same page, I want God to speak to us through each other. I want to be better not only for him, but for me. I want God to be pleased with our marriage, so that our son can see what a healthy relationship, friendship and marriage looks like.
I know that I am not the easiest person to be married to but he does an awesome job of dealing me and everything that comes with it. Keep in mind it’s not always good but we made a commitment years ago that the D word would NOT be an option when things got, hard, crazy and downright out of control. Thankfully up until this point, God has allowed us to keep our word to each other. When all else fails, God never fails and I can say that HE has kept us when weren’t sure if we could keep each other.
I say all this to say that marriage takes work but it’s worth it. Are you willing to work at it like your life depended on it? Are you willing to say NO to some things so you can say YES to your marriage and the person you married?
Jussayin… Errbody wants to be married but no one wants to put in the work to stay married. Sometimes in addition to the question ‘why did I get married?’ you may need to also ask, ‘why should I stay married?’
I don’t know…. just thinking out loud.
Praying for marriages across our country, husbands and wives need to be covered daily. The enemy is out to steal, kill and destroy what God created between husband and wife.
I had a friend call me one day and she was feeling some kinda way. She was working in a project and she just couldn’t get past how she was feeling. She was feeling blah, out of it, not motivated and just in a funk.
Have you ever felt that way…
I know I have…
Ever have a big project or task to tackle but you just did not ‘feel’ like it? Well me too. There have been tons of days where I didn’t feel like it but I did it anyway.
This conversation I was having with my friend is similar to many conversations I have had with clients on moving past how you feel so you can get to where you desire to be.
When you have a goal in front of you, you can let feelings get the best of you. And as women, we tend to rest in our feelings when making decisions.
Now I’m not telling you to ignore your gut feelings or your intuition but I am saying that those feelings of ‘doubt, insecurity, I’m not enough, I don’t feel it, etc‘. — suck it up and get moving. Same thing I had to say to my girlfriend. Heck it’s the same thing I have to say to myself sometimes. Depending on where you are in this journey, you don’t have time to be whining about how you feel.
Some days it’s do or don’t.
Either you make it happen or it doesn’t happen.
Sometimes you have to make the sacrifice now and sow the seeds now so you can reap a harvest later. Many of us want a good life, good health, good wealth, a good marriage or a great job, career or business but we don’t want to put the work in.
As a believer of Christ, the bible is clear that we walk by faith and not by sight. Walking by what you see is essentially walking by what you feel. This race we are called to run was never promised to be easy. Trust that whatever God has ordained and put you here to do, you have the strength, power and ability to do in Him.
Moving in spite of how you feel (& what you see) is all about trusting a power that is greater than you. When it gets hard, holdfast to the vision, dream, goal or aspiration. If you don’t have any, then that may be why you are tossed ‘to and fro.’ You have nothing to stand on. When your feelings are trying to overtake you, you have to also remember all of the ‘other’ stuff you’ve come through. You also have to remember WHY you are doing what you are doing.
As you go higher, your faith will be tested and you have to make the decision that you will move in spite of how you feel. You move in what you know. You move not in what you see with your sight but in what you see with your vision.
Well keep going… Put one step in front of the other and don’t let how you feel abort what’s ahead of you.
Until next time…
P.S. Are you need of an extra push in this particular area of your life. Are you feeling stuck, stalled or stagnant? Book your 90-Minute Push Me Strategy Session so we can get you take immediate action and instead of staying stuck in your feelings. Click here bit.ly/pushmedetra to secure your spot.
P.S.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.
P.S.S. My #iSpeakLife Empowerment Experience for Women is back! The Fall Edition is happening Friday, September, 25 in Buffalo, NY. Register and get more information at www.iSpeakLifeLive.com.
As I’m getting older I’m learning that knowledge means nothing without application. In this day and age, knowledge comes a dime a dozen. There are so many places to gain new insight that there is really no way for someone to say ‘I didn’t know.’
With the Internet alone, you just about find information on any topic. The key however is what you do with that information once you acquire it.
The only way to master what you know is to use it.
There is a saying that says the key the getting ahead is getting started. I agree but once you get started you have to apply what you’ve learned. Information is one thing but when you add application and implementation, you’ve added a whole different dimension.
Let me share with you an example, my son knows his letters and some of numbers up to 20. However he now has to learn how to apply and implement what he has learned. After he masters learning them he has to use his letters to make words to write, to spell and read words. After learning his numbers he has to use them to add, subtract, multiply and divide.
What knowledge do you have that you need to master?
What information do you have in your arsenal that you have yet to sit down long enough to really master?
Once you’ve mastered it on that level how can you use it. We are so information hungry that we’ve become application and implementation lazy. We want all of this information but we don’t take the time to really apply what we’ve learned.
I know I’ve been guilty. Signing up for programs, reading books and or watching videos with great information but I have yet to use it. What about you? What do you now have yet to use or apply or implement?
Heck this can apply to your life… What lessons have you learned but have yet to apply in your life?
Remember we repeat tests we never learn from.
Until next time…
P.S. Are you need of an extra push in a particular area of your life. Are you feeling stuck, stalled or stagnant? Book your 90 minute Push Me Strategy Session so we can get you unstuck so you get started on what’s most important. Click here bit.ly/pushmedetra
P.P.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.