Tag Archives: self-care

Handle burnout before burnout handles you

Handle burnout before burnout handles you.

Now a days we are so busy that we are walking around here like the energizer bunny. We just keep going and going and going.

Between you and me … That’s not how it’s supposed to be.

Some of you my dear sisters are running yourselves ragged. You are tired, irritable, agitated, stressed, anxious, and just darn overwhelmed.

Well let me let you in on a little secret… If you don’t slow down and go sit down somewhere (some of you need to go lie down), you are going to go down.

Yes I said it.

I know you want to support everyone and you want to be super woman but if haven’t noticed, it isn’t working, is it? No I didn’t think so.

You see I’ve been there. Trying to be all things to all people with no one being anything to me. Or least partly because I wouldn’t let them help me. I didn’t want people to think I was weak or that I couldn’t handle everything I had going on. On the other hand, I also just thought running myself ragged (not intentionally) was what you were supposed to do, right?

WRONG!

Somewhere along this journey no one told me it was ok to say no. No one told me it was okay to put me first. No one said that if I kept going at the pace I was going, I’d finally crash. And guess what I crashed. I was exhausted, I was moody and I didn’t understand why no one stopped this train wreck before it had happened.

I will tell you why …

Because most of us women are all doing the same thing and we all think it’s what we are supposed to be doing. Most of us saw our mothers, aunts, grandmothers and other women in our immediate circle do it. Not knowing that they so wanted the rest, therefore I am giving you permission to take a break before you burnout.

So how exactly do you handle burnout before it handles you…

  • Say no
  • Set boundaries  
  • Know your stress triggers
  • Re-teach people how to treat you
  • Let yourself off the hook
  • Stop worrying about what people think so much
  • Unplug
  • Rest

There are so many more suggestions that I could share but I’ll leave you with these eight for now…  I think they are pretty self explanatory.

Get settled in and comfortable saying no and setting boundaries. Know those stress triggers that set you off and be aware when other people, places, and things set those triggers off.  If you have had a habit of letting people just treat you any kind of way, you need to re-teach them how to treat you according to your new normal. It is your responsibility to help them unlearn some of the habits they have been used to using.

Learn to let yourself off the hook.  It’s ok that you aren’t perfect.  It’s okay that you don’t have it all together.  It’s okay that you don’t have all the answers.  IT IS OKAY.  Let yourself off the hook.  God still smiles when you cross His mind.  Once you learn to let yourself off of the hook, understand that the freedom you desire comes when you stop worrying about what people think.  Who cares what they think.  I mean really…. who cares?  Why is their opinion so important? I want you to be more worried about what God thinks than what ‘people‘ think.

In order to stop worrying about what people think, you may need to unplug.  Cut the phone off, get off of social media, pray, journal, meditate.  Take a break from the tv and all of the ripping and running.  So whatever you need to do so long as you unplug and get quiet so that you can recharge.  Lastly, unplugging allows you to rest.

Your turn…

  • Pick one or two of the suggestions I gave you on how to handle burnout before it handles you and begin implementing them immediately.  Start small and then work you way up to integrating them all into your life.

If this resonated with you, share your comments below and feel free to share so that other women who read this can glean from your wisdom too.

If you need an extra Push in learning how to handle burnout before it handles you, schedule a PUSH ME 90 Minute Strategy Session.  Schedule yours here: bit.ly/pushmedetra.

Until next time….

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Do you really know what you need?

Do you really know what you need-

Ok so I wrote this almost a year ago and it’s been sitting in my blog drafts since last year. As I’ve been taking some time to start writing more and quieting myself, I happened to find this as I was scheduling my blogs for the next few weeks to get back on track.

As I was reading this I felt the need to share it since I think it still applies to today even though it was written last August while hubby and I were in vacay.

So here goes…. enjoy πŸ™‚


Hubby and I are away on vacay for a few days and it wasn’t until I got to our destination that I realized that I needed it a lot more than I thought.  This is the first trip that hubby and I have taken alone since our son was born in 2011.

YESSSS… our WE time had been limited to Friday night dates, nap times and pure luck if Dallas went to bed early. As first time parents and absolutely in love love love with our baby boy, we tend to spend more time with him, and we enjoy it.

But as we spent time together on this trip we realized how much R&R we needed not only as man and woman but also husband and wife.  Some nights we are so exhausted that on the Friday night date night, we are happy just to lay in bed with no interruption.  There is no conversation, no cuddling, just pure REST and SLEEP.  Now don’t get me wrong we need that too but we had been working so hard at providing a good life experience for our son that we neglected ourselves and each other.

Now you may be wondering how this applies to you…

Although you may know what you need, you may not actually know what you need until you are in it.  Some things may not become clear to you until you take the time to take the first step, make the first move, launch out into the deep and just do it.

YES… just do it!

You will not always know where it will come from and it may come when you least expect it. I knew I needed a vacay and I knew that hubby and I needed to be more intentional with having WE time, but it wasn’t until actually being on vacation away from work, our son, our house and anything else that sometimes distracts us from taking time out to do what really matters, that we realized what we needed.  It was awesome and we are looking forward to doing this more often.

Your turn…

  • I challenge you to take some time to do what feeds your mind, your body, your soul, your marriage and any other area that needs recharging.
  • Be intentional in doing what matters most.
  • Be open to realizing that some things you will only come to know once you launch out in to the deep.

Be open to receive what you need not knowing where exactly it will come from…

Until next time…

P.S. Are you need of an extra push in a particular area of your life. Are you feeling stuck, stalled or stagnant?  Book your 90 minute Push Me Strategy Session so we can get you unstuck and get started on what’s most important. Click here bit.ly/pushmedetra

P.S.S. Don’t forget to share this message with your peeps via email or social media.

P.S.S. Like this week’s life purpose message… leave a comment below.

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iSpeakLife Declaration: I choose Me.

β€ͺ#iSpeakLifeDeclaration‬:

Today, I Choose Me. I Put Me First.

On this day, I give you permission to put you first. Β I give you permission to say NO to them and it, so that for once you can say YES to YOU! Β Take some time identifying what you need to start saying NO to. Β Then take some time to identify what you need to start saying YES to. Then I want you to start doing it.

Make sure you say this declaration at least seven (7) times today (#7X).

Joining you in this journey to generate a live of purpose we crave.

Detra

I put me first.

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Look for the Lessons

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As I was looking over this past year and thinking aboutΒ allllll that has happened, I was reminded to look at the lessons I’ve learned. Β Sometimes we tend to only focus on what happened or what didn’t happened but sometimes we miss thoseΒ opportune moments to look for the lessons in each experience we encounter. Β This week’s post is anΒ mp3 audio recordingΒ thatΒ I want toΒ share with you on how look forΒ the lessons in the variedΒ experiences you had this year as well as as how to make this a habit for the new year…

CLICK HERE TO LISTENΒ …

Don’t forget to let me know your thoughts on the lessons you may have missed because you didn’t initially look for them.

Here’s to you living in and on purpose

Hugs…

Detra
Life Purpose Generator – Speaker | Coach | Consultant | Mentor
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Have Your Moment

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All in the same week, there have been deaths that have affected people close to me. Β My mom lost two of her best friends in the same week one was out of the blue and the other we knew it was just a matter of time. Then one of my best friends lost her mother suddenly. Β Last week I had a few students in my Success Life Skills class who were having really bad days and they just couldn’t seem to get themselves together. Β They were in class but they weren’t. Β The class discussion was about working, grinding and hustling. Β Doing what you need to do to make things happen in your life and being consistent at it. Well it got to a point where a few of my students kept bringing up things that were getting in the way or traumatic incidents that they never really dealt with and ended up having a break down and breakthrough in class, which happens often. Β When my students get aha moments in my class or come to the realization that some things need to change in their lives, tears of release start streaming down their faces.

As I was preparing for this week’s post, a statement that I had been saying all week was ‘have your moment.’ Β Sometimes in the midst of everything we have going on, life gets so crazy and overwhelming that we sometimes miss the opportunity to have a moment. You might be asking, “What exactly does that mean?”

Well it means cry if you need to cry, laugh if you need to laugh, scream if you need to scream, but HAVE YOUR MOMENT.Β  Additionally, I teach my students and coaching clients the importance of not staying in the moment. Β It’s okay to be angry, sad, confused, overwhelmed, etc, but you can’t stay there. Β You can have bad moments but not bad days or weeks or months. Β Don’t let a moment steal the joy and love, and peace and happiness life is waiting to give you.

My girlfriend, I imagine, is going to have many moments once the overwhelm of preparing for her mom’s funeral subsides. Β I imagine that my mom will think of her friends at different times and have many moments remembering all of the good times they had together. Β I am sure you have had things happen in your life that when you think about them, make you smile while tears well up in your eyes. Β It’s okay. Β Have your moment. Β Feel the emotion you are having. Β Don’t ignore it, don’t just push through it as it if it didn’t happen. Β Don’t repress it and act like it didn’t happen. Β Sometimes it’s easier to move on when you take time to actually acknowledge what you are feeling. Β As I watched my one student try to hold back the tears, once I gave her permission to have her moment, she let out what I believe she had been holding in for who knows how long. Β She just let out this HUGE sigh with her cry.

So let me ask you…

  • What are you holding in?
  • What are you holding back?
  • Who told you that it wasn’t okay to have and live in your moment?

Well, I now give you permission to have your moment. Β Now remember, the key is to feel the emotion, let the emotion do what it’s supposed to do and then keep moving. Β Take as much time as you need, just don’t let it stop you from living. Β Have your moment, just don’t let your moment consume you. Β The bible is clear that “those that live Godly in Christ shall suffer persecution.” Β The bible also says “many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord will deliver them from them all.” Β If you have difficulty making it through hard and difficult times, cast your cares on God because He cares for you. Know that this too shall pass. Β As hard as it may seem and as bad as it may feel. If He brought you to it, He WILL bring you through it.

Until Next Time…

Here’s to you living life IN & ON Purpose…
Detra
Speaker | Life Coach
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Detra M. Trueheart is a Speaker and Life Coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping women of faith break barriers in beliefs and behaviors to create a life lived IN and ON Purpose. Learn how Detra can help you create a lifeΒ with more faith, focus, freedom, & fulfillment:Β http://www.trueheartspeaks.com

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Serenity Saturday – Motivational Minute 371

It’s Serenity Saturday!

Today’s Motivational Minute is…

Spend some time loving YOU! Β If you don’t know what it means to love yourself, FIND OUT!

No need in loving others when you don’t love yourself and have no idea how to love yourself or others.

YOUR TURN… on this Serenity Saturday, tell me how you will show yourself some love today and everyday! Β If you aren’t sure, what do you think you need to start loving yourself. Β It is time to put you first!Β 

Share your thoughts in the comments section.Β I would love to hear from you. There may be someone who just might be blessed by what you share!

Here’s to you living life IN & On Purpose…

Detra

Detra M. Trueheart,

Your Personal Life and Empowerment Coach

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Detra M. Trueheart is a Speaker and Life Coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping women,Β girls, and leaders break the mold, challenge the status quo and live life IN purpose ON purpose. Learn how Detra can help you create a life beyond the limitations and expectations that hinder you from living life IN & ON purpose:Β http://www.trueheartspeaks.com.

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Serenity Saturday – Motivational Minute 364

It’s Serenity Saturday!!

Today’s Motivational Minute is …

Just say NO! —Β That’s right it’s just that simple today.

Many times our level of stress and anxiety is increased because we don’t know how to say NO. Β We keep piling things on top of each other and adding more and more to our plate without ever resting or taking time for ourselves. Β If our creator was smart enough to rest on the 7th day after working for 6 days, then why on earth can’t we learn to rest. Β Sometimes the only way you can rest and take time for yourself, is to say NO. Β Self-Care is so important if you desire to be available for those you care about. Β You can only give what you have and if you don’t have it, what are actually giving?

Take some time to put YOU first.Β 

Do something for YOU.

Take care of YOU.Β 

 

YOUR TURN… on this Serenity Saturday, tell me when you have had to say NO to others to say YES to yourself? Β If you are having a hard time saying no, share why you have difficulty in this area. Β What type of support would you need to be moreΒ proactiveΒ in your efforts to saying NO to others so you can say YES to yourself?

Share your thoughts in the comments section.Β I would love to hear from you. There may be someone who just might be blessed by what you share!

Here’s to you living life IN & On Purpose…

Detra

Detra M. Trueheart,

Your Personal Life and Empowerment Coach

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Detra M. Trueheart is a Speaker and Life Coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping women,Β girls, and leaders break the mold, challenge the status quo and live life IN purpose ON purpose. Learn how Detra can help you create a life beyond the limitations and expectations that hinder you from living life IN & ON purpose:Β http://www.trueheartspeaks.com.

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Serenity Saturday Motivational Minute 357

It’s Serenity Saturday!

Today’s Motivational Minute is…

Take time to rest, recharge and relax. Β You can’t give what you don’t have. Β If you are continuously making withdrawals but you are making no deposits, at some point there will be emotional, mental, spiritual, professional, relational, and physicalΒ NSF (non-sufficient funds). Β Don’t wait until you have nothing left to start building up a reserve. Β START TODAY!

YOUR TURN… Β tell me the how you plan to rest, recharge and relax on this Serenity Saturday.

Share below in the comments section.

Here’s to you living life IN & On Purpose…

Detra

Detra M. Trueheart,

Your Personal Life and Empowerment Coach

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WELCOME to all of our new subscribers! β€”Β Encourage your friends and family by sharing this article and invite others to subscribe toΒ TrueheartWrites.

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Sign up for myΒ Monthly Motivational Coaching Calls

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Want to reprint this? Sure, please feel free to forwardΒ TrueheartWritesΒ to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. TrueheartWrites is written and distributed by TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises.

Detra M. Trueheart is a Speaker and Life Coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping women,Β girls, and leaders break the mold, challenge the status quo and live life IN purpose ON purpose. Learn how Detra can help you create a life beyond the limitations and expectations that hinder you from living life IN & ON purpose:Β http://www.trueheartspeaks.com.

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Motivational Minute 353

Today’s Motivational Minute…

You only get one life! Why not live it to the fullest?

Until next time…

Detra M. Trueheart, Your Personal Life and Empowerment Coach

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WELCOME to all of our new subscribers! β€”Β Encourage your friends and family by sharing this article and invite others to subscribe toΒ TrueheartWrites.

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Get your FREE COPY of:Β β€œHow to Overcome Mental Roadblocks to Living Life IN & ON Purpose”

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Want to reprint this? Sure, please feel free to forwardΒ TrueheartWritesΒ to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. TrueheartWrites is written and distributed by TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises.

Detra M. Trueheart is a motivational/inspirational speaker and life empowerment coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping you live life IN purpose ON purpose. Β Learn how Detra can help you live with more purpose, passion and peace, visithttp://www.trueheartspeaks.com.

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