Are you too accessible?

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Most people who know me, know that I am funny about my time.  I don’t like people trying to monopolize my time.  I also don’t like my time to be wasted.  I like to enjoy my time the way I want to.  Through client coaching conversations and random conversations with family and friends, I’ve learned that more and more people feel the need to answer every call, every text and respond to every email every time the phone chimes.  This need to be accessible has caused many people, myself included, to miss out on opportunities or become so distracted that we waste time helping people put out fires that have nothing to do with us.

Over the years I’ve become better at saying no, but that was very hard for at one time in my life.  I felt the need to say yes to every little thing someone asked me to do or be apart of.  Then in 2003, the Lord released me from every obligation by sending me to New York, New York as a National Urban Fellow to pursue my first Masters Degree at Baruch College.  I initially thought this degree was my ticket up the career path but it was far from it.  I learned so much about myself, who I was and who I was called to be, that getting the degree was miniscule.  The degree was just the catalyst used to get me away.

During that time I resigned from all committees, groups and organizations I was apart of and you know what …. it felt great to be in a place where I didn’t have any obligation to anyone or anything but to God and myself. Well school of course… but you know what I mean.  It was at that point that God began to show me that it was okay to resign and that the world wouldn’t fall apart of I decided to resign, withdraw or just say no.  I always thought I just HAD to be apart of ‘it.’  If it was something of interest, even a small interest, I most assuredly had to be involved.  NOT SO!  God began showing me that I was too accessible to others which limited my accessibility to Him.  I was saying yes to everything and everyone but I had forgotten my first love…. HIM.  I’m not sure who this is for but you have become too accessible.  You answer every call, you say yes to every request, you interrupt whatever it is that you have going on for someone else thus messing up your flow.  My question to you is… are you too accessible?

  • Is your phone always on?
  • Do you ever just not answer the phone without feeling guilty that you missed an important phone call?
  • Do you have to respond to every text EVERY TIME it comes through?
  • Do you say yes to every opportunity that is presented to you?
  • Do you say yes to every offer to serve on a committee at your church, your child’s school, sorority, etc?
  • Do you drop what you are doing at the drop a hat to appease, tend to and fix everyone else’s issues while leaving yours behind?
  • Do you put off those things that are of the utmost importance to you for things that are of less importance?

As you know I could go on… but listen here… if you said YES to any or most of these questions… you just might be TOO ACCESSIBLE.

As technology as gotten more savvy, I have had to get more intentional about not answering every call, not checking my email all day everyday, not checking every text or not liking every post on Facebook or intstagram.  I will be the first to tell you that as a workaholic I am a work in progress.  My hubby will tell you.  I could work tons of hours if he let me.  But I have an obligation to my husband to be a wife and to my son to be a mommy so I can’t be accessible to everyone else more than I am accessible to them as well as to myself.  Again… it’s a work in progress.  Sometimes I purposely leave my phone in another room just so I don’t have to hear the notifications or vibrating of the phone ringing and to be honest… it took some getting used to but now I like it.

So let me make some suggestions on how you can be less accessible.

  • cut off your phone
  • stop responding to every text that comes in
  • limit your time on Facebook, twitter, instagram, google plus, etc.
  • limit your time on email… check your email 2-3 times a day (I am currently working on this myself)
  • limit your business phone calls. Stop taking business calls after a certain time. (something else I too am working on)
  • limit your personal calls.  Spend some time with your family and yourself.  You cannot give what you do not have.
  • learn to say no.  I’ve said this a number of times in a number of my previous posts.  You can not be all things to all people.  Learn how to let people know that now is not the best time for you to commit to anything else.  Or just say you aren’t interested. Be honest.
  • turn off the notifications on your phone and computer so that you are not tempted to take a peek at who sent you what.

Now only you know if you are too accessible.  Only you know if you need to cut some things and some people back so that you can really focus on those things that are of the utmost importance to you.  I have shared a few tools with you; the question is will you use them.  As a LifeStyle Management Strategist, my job is give you simple and clear strategies on how to manage your life so you can live it in purpose everyday.

Your turn… tell me how accessible you are?  Do you have some work to do or have you mastered this skill?  As a work in progress, even I would like to know.  I’m still trying to find the perfect fit for how to make life as a mommy-wife-preneur work for me.  Some days are easier than others so your feedback could just be what our readers need to limit their accessibility and live more for themselves instead of others.

Until next time….

Choose to live in and on purpose!

Hugs…

Detra
Life Purpose Generator – Speaker | Coach | Consultant | Mentor
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