Be Good at Receiving

Great day everyone! – Just wanted to share something with you today as it spoke to my spirit (or should I say has been speaking to my spirit on numerous occasions).

This is the second or third time in the last few days that I have read about being a good receiver.  We always hear about being a good giver, but not so much about receiving.  I received this link below via email today and thought I would share it with everyone!  I had to do some self-reflecting and realized that although I love giving, I do have some minor issues with receiving.  It is something I am working on because I believe in the law and principle of reaping what we sow…. so if I am sowing but not putting myself in a position to reap or receive, I miss out and so does the giver.   Open yourselves up to receive MORE! You’d be surprised to see what’s out there waiting for you — Enjoy!

Become A Good Receiver http://conta.cc/fVPFVk via #constantcontact

You can be GREAT by SERVING

After watching the “Secret Millionaire” last week with Dani Johnson (http://www.danijohnson.com) as this episode’s secret millionaire, I was inspired by not only her journey but her desire to give back to unsung heroes and she-roes in the town of Knoxville, TN. While watching, I immediately began to think about the number of organizations and youth I could be of help to if I were in a position to be a financial blessing to them. As the founder of a not for profit girls program and great advocate of youth, I always tell people to give what they can to whatever cause they are passionate about if they are unable to give monetarily. This message was reiterated on the show. Although organizations need money, they also need helping hands and many times because we don’t have a lot of money, we think we can’t be significant and the people and organizations that Dani worked with showed exactly that you don’t to have a lot of money to give back and meet the needs of those less fortunate. Never think that you have nothing to contribute. Everything you need to be a blessing to someone already resides in you, it just has to be pulled out and manifested.

In Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “Drum Major Instinct: An ode to Service,” he describes a new form of greatness demonstrated by the life of Jesus Christ. He says, “And so Jesus gave us a new norm of greatness. If you want to be important—wonderful. If you want to be recognized—wonderful. If you want to be great—wonderful. But recognize that he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. (Amen) That’s a new definition of greatness. And this morning, the thing that I like about it: by giving that definition of greatness, it means that everybody can be great, (Everybody) because everybody can serve. (Amen) You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. (All right) You don’t have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You don’t have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You don’t have to know Einstein’s theory of relativity to serve. You don’t have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. (Amen) You only need a heart full of grace, (Yes, sir, Amen) a soul generated by love. (Yes) And you can be that servant.”

I love this passage and every time I read it or use it in one of my keynotes or workshops, I am reminded that though they may seem insignificant or small at times, having a heart full of grace, a soul generated by love, and let me add passion, you can do anything you put your mind to. I believe that we ALL can be servants to one another. How many times have you smiled at someone who needed it that day or hugged someone who hadn’t had a hug in a while? What about saying hello or good morning to someone who looks like the world is about to end. One of my favorites books says “Give and it shall be given.” When you give, you get and then you get to give. We all have a part to play in serving others and there are many opportunities to give and be a blessing to others. Think about those things that you are passionate about and bring you joy. Take some time out of your busy schedule and sow into someone else’s life. It may in fact be a sacrifice, but just think about how good you will feel afterward. You might be surprised and find your purpose, passion and power while giving to and imparting into someone else. It could be in that very moment that you figure out what truly makes you happy. Keep in mind that this may not happen over night, but through trial and error. But if you keep at it, not only will those you’ve helped be appreciative of what you’ve done, but you’ll be able to share your greatness by serving.

My challenge to you:

• Take a moment and think about an organization, a group of individuals, or an individual that you can be a blessing to and make the time to do it!
• Be grateful for the people who have been a blessing to you at one time or another.
• Stop thinking about what you don’t have or what you could do if you had “…” Be grateful for what you currently have and use what you have now to be a blessing to someone else.
• Ask God to help you realize and live out your purpose, passion, & power if you haven’t figured it out yet. No need in just existing when you can live your best life!

Remember to whom much is given, much is required. Whatever you have been blessed with, it is your responsibility to give back. With so many opportunites to give back, don’t feel limited to do what someone else is doing. Do what makes you happy and brings you joy. Those on the receiving end will be able to feel your heart of grace, your soul generated by love and your passion. It’s most important to Be TRUE to You!

Until Next Time…

Detra M. Trueheart, Your Personal Life and Empowerment Coach

P.S. Encourage your friends and family by sharing this article and invite others to subscribe to www.TrueheartSpeaks.wordpress.com

Want to reprint the article? Sure, please feel free to forward TrueheartWrites to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. TrueheartWrites is written and distributed by TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises.

Detra M. Trueheart is a professional speaker and life and empowerment coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping you live life IN and ON purpose. If you want to find out how you can enjoy life with more purpose, passion and power, visit http://www.trueheartspeaks.com.

© Copyright 2011. Detra M. Trueheart. All rights reserved.

HELP ≠ WEAKNESS

Why don’t people ask for help when they need it most?

What makes people think they don’t need help?

A few weeks ago, I conducted a workshop at a local college entitled,”HELP ≠ WEAKNESS.” The idea that needing help equates to weakness, being vulnerable, or shame is something that most people think but may not admit. Many people would say they don’t have issues with needing or asking for help, and very rarely ask for it. At the beginning of the workshop, I asked, “Why don’t people ask for help when they need it most?” Here are some of the students’ responses:

• “Because I don’t need it”
• “I think I can handle it on my own”
• “I will be looked upon as weak or helpless”
• “I’m independent”
• “Most times I think I know everything”
• “I think I can figure it out”
• “Too proud”
• “Don’t know how to ask for it.”

When I asked the same question with feedback from my facebook family, here are some of their responses:

• “Pride, fear of rejection, shame.”
• “Just plain don’t know.”
• “Don’t want to be embarrassed.”
• “Just feeling that you will have to suck up to hear what someone else thinks.”
• “Too proud to ask or admit I need help and afraid help won’t be there if I do ask for it.”
• “Cause the people you think you should be able to rely on don’t come through.”
• “Eventually after a bit of time and effort I will be able to do it myself.”
• “My biggest thing was I didn’t want to seem weak or that I couldn’t handle my business. At this age when you think you should have things under control and when it’s revealed that you don’t it can be a disappointment.”
• “I’m usually the one giving help, not needing help.”

What’s interesting is that most people don’t mind offering help to others, but have issues asking for help for themselves. There is a saying in direct sales that says “it is just as honorable to sell as it is buy.” I would go a little further to say, “it is just as honorable to receive help as it is to give help.” Sometimes we grow up in environments where we have never been given help and have to fend for ourselves while growing up and it becomes second nature, or have never been told that it’s okay to receive help. I think it is important to remember that no man is an island. There will always be a time where we will need help from someone. To refuse help or to refuse to ask for help, diminishes an opportunity for someone to be a blessing to you. We are blessed to be a blessing to others. The gifts, talents, knowledge, wisdom and insight we gain throughout life is meant to be shared with those who may come across our paths and may be going through a similar circumstance. I believe there are specific tests that you have been through that only you can share through your testimony.

So you ask, how do I get over myself and learn to trust people enough to ask for help when I most need it.

1. Well the first thing is to ADMIT YOU NEED HELP. One of my favorite pastors, Paula White, says you can’t conquer what you don’t confront and you can’t confront that which you don’t identify. If you don’t admit what you need help with, or that you even need help, then you will never ask for help. Put your pride, shame, fear, and everything else aside and admit that you may indeed not know it all.
2. Next, IDENTIFY WHAT IT IS YOU NEED HELP WITH, even if the help you need is to figure out the specifics. You don’t have to know all of the answers when asking for help. That’s why you ask for help.
3. That then leads to you to ASK FOR HELP. Once you have admitted you need help, then ask for it. Some times you may not know anyone who can help you directly, but if you ask, they may be able to direct you to those who can.
4. Once you ask for help, BE OPEN to the information you receive. You may get what you are looking for on the first try, but if you don’t, DON’T GIVE UP. Anything worth having is worth working hard to get. If your life depended on it, you wouldn’t just settle for the first response if it wasn’t what you wanted to hear. You would talk to more than one resource to get more information. Also, when I say be open, I also mean be open to the feedback you may receive regarding the help you need. It may be more challenging than you anticipated but that doesn’t mean you quit. Sometimes we ask for help expecting one thing and then we get another, which is sometimes what we need. Sometimes you have to be open to change, transition, and discomfort when asking for help.
5. Lastly, you have to ACCEPT AND RECEIVE THE HELP. Sometimes we ask for help and then when we get it, we don’t accept it. Some of the feedback I received stated that sometimes we don’t accept help because we are afraid that someone may not be sincere. For example, “if I help you, then when I need help, you are obligated to help me.” Now I can’t promise that this won’t happen, but what I can promise is that you will never find out if you never accept the help when it’s offered. You never know, it may never happen to you. You may connect with people who sincerely want what’s best for you and who are looking for an opportunity to bless someone.

My Challenge to you:

Take a few minutes to think about and implement the following tips and questions:

1. Think about one thing that you know you need help with but have yet to ask and write it down.
2. What would happen if you did ask for help when you most needed it?
3. How would your life be different when you asked for help when you most needed it?
4. ASK FOR HELP! Think about those who could be of help to you and just ask. You never know what might happen.

Remember, nothing beats a failure but a try. Your life may depend on you asking for help. Someone may have just want you need at the right time. Get out of your own way and remember that at some point in our lives, we all will need help with something. Hopefully you are wise enough to admit it, identify it, ask for it, be open to it and then accept and receive it.

Until next time…..

Detra M. Trueheart, Your Personal Life and Empowerment Coach

P.S. Encourage your friends and family by sharing this article and invite others to subscribe to www.TrueheartSpeaks.wordpress.com

Want to reprint the article? Sure, please feel free to forward TrueheartWrites to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. TrueheartWrites is written and distributed by TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises.

Detra M. Trueheart is a professional speaker and life and empowerment coach. Her company, TrueheartSpeaks Enterprises, is dedicated to helping you live life IN and ON purpose. If you want to find out how you can enjoy life with more purpose, passion and power, visit http://www.trueheartspeaks.com.

© Copyright 2011. Detra M. Trueheart. All rights reserved.